Broken cord.

[Tr****]

It's a strange feeling isn't it ... Being so disconnected from the world. It's like you're on the outside looking in...

It's a sad feeling isn't It, to try reach out for some form of connection and everyone is too busy to take a call...

At times I feel as though there are people around, yet there is no one at all. A brick on my chest, the phone rings all the way to voicemail and no body calls back cause on paper, everything is perfect.

I'm ashamed to say it out loud cause other people have real problems and I really have no reason to feel like this at all... But it doesn't help fact... My soul is a string of broken cords... I am broken... I think....

[Po****]

Fact. There are many people and services that would like us to think we are broken for many selfish reasons.  If that's not hard enough, those feelings also be addictive where they can become the only emotions we know.  Perhaps better said we cling to our pain because we know nothing else. 

 

The good news is it does not have to be that way.  We always have a choice and not one of those check boxes either where others make multiple choices and then tell us to pick one. 

 

Regarding shame, it’s not our fault the world be that way or it be as you just said.  We live in a world that encourages others to cut people out of their lives whom feel ashamed and have low self-esteem because we drag them down.   As a result, those kinds of people surround themselves with 'only' things that bring them bliss and joy.  They also become addicted clinging to the only emotions they know. 

 

They tend to only write about things that make them feel joyful and happy whilst we tend to write about things that make us sad.  Rarely do I read articles that are well balanced.  Mostly because drugs and drama sells.  The happy people only want to hear about happy things, whilst the sad people only want to hear about sad things.  Each dynamic makes for popular songs, poems, articles and the like.  Movies follow that same pattern although somewhat more deceptive.  Boy meets girl, girl meets boy, happy, sad, up & down - woohoo - violence - villain & hero with whatever ideals weaved in-between.   Such being the way peoples sting of cords are influenced to swing. 

 

Alas, we adopt the pattern of thinking that we must either become anyone of those characters in order to fit in or adopt the belief that we are just too broken and in need of a hero to come along and fix us.

 

Your right about others having their own set of problems.  Most don't answer because they are memorized by the same spell of which I speak.  But that does not take away how it is that many of us feel so disconnected living in a world like that.  That shame you talk about is also projected ... again not our fault.  

 

That said, it does not have to be a problem if only one or two take a stand and point that *&^% out.  Just because the world is so unbalanced and jacked up on all that does not mean we have to wear it.  That's the choice I am talking about.  

 

Please excuse my frustration coming out.  Sometimes we got to let go of that as well, but helps not to hurt others in that process.  Given the amount of articles on cutting others out is it any wonder so many of us walk on egg shells. Laughs out loud.  Is a good practice to be mindful. Once you practice it long enough it kind of sticks and other areas of our life – up or down it does not discriminate.

 

Sorry I use too many words.  Is a complex world and the way we get sucked in is just as complex.  

 

Those are hard core feelings your talking about.  Many of us have different circumstances but you can be sure there are many quiet ones out there too afraid and ashamed to find their voice. 

 

Good for you!  I don't mean to dismiss your feelings by saying you got nothing to feel ashamed about because anyone living in this *&^%ed up being how I just described is understandable that so many of us are regularly cut out ... our reaching out going unanswered. 

 

Like I don't know the answers myself and or what you’re looking for.  We are all at difference stages within what I call a game with a lot of messed up rules.  Some people just want to continue with what they only know re clinging and all that and then others are having trouble letting go.  I know I am a bit of both but with the inclination of working towards answers I have previously found that are hard to explain.  The take away in that is its not easy to stay on track when we do let go of the pain.  

 

I'm probably not making much sense but is always nice to touch base with someone that sounds as if they know some of what I mean.  

 

I hear ya is all. 

 

A lot of people don't like me talking this way but you know what ... the more I write, the more I like me.  Having said that though, I know it's not just about me which is why I cared to reply and reach out at all.   

 

Please don't feel ashamed because your taking time to acknowledge what's within.  My advice would be we would do well not to dig deep holes we often dig keep it honest as well.  Try to write more from your own perspective and not so much of someone else's.  That's the other thing about today's digital world.  Many of us have become mindless observers and repeaters.  

 

Lately I have been writing in an online journal.  I kind of gave up on this space because it feels more like a single pick up joint where only the pretty little profile pics grabs people’s attention away from their phones. lol.  Seems true enough if you take the time to look around.  It's all pretty much base on external dynamics and only those who talk about bubbly things and or self-promoting with claims of being fixers but not posting much else.

 

That said that core focus of this site seems to be based on some really great methods and one's that have helped me a lot.  Those courses are finished now, but I guess it's good they have left the platform open for those few that can make real connections.  Don't mind all those people, the crowed that leave so many feeling even more isolated simply by their presence.  Is like how the city by for many living in it. 

 

 You seem like a nice person and although I'm not basing that on your image of a green leaf - you spoke up about how you’re really feeling and did so very well.  

 

I don't much on most platforms because I struggle to use less than a thousand words. This post consisting of 1150 to be exact.  Smiles – All good.  If you read this, then you’re a real person and I think your awesome.  Keep expressing as you feel best.  Nice to of met you.

Those that often say we have low-self-esteem don’t understand it’s more a case of how this world and others in it constantly let us down.  I just wanted to say I think your awesome and glad you’re it. : ) 

~ Dave.  

 

[Tr****]

Lol Funny enough. I did read it.... I wasn't even expecting a response. For me this site provides me with an outlet on the days that I am not okay, where my soul feels heavy, to come vent without shame. I guess when I talk to those that know me it doesn't register, cause to them I have a graduated , have a good job, make a living. So I have nothing to complain about... "My shame". That's the purpose and after I let it out the darkness reduces... Such platforms do have value.