How can I become more grateful?

[Yvonne]

I am really grateful for many things in my life: like my health, my family, my job, the food, the air, my upbringing, people around me...  But lately, I noticed that I'm grateful only for selective things and I'm a bit confused and sad about it. It happened that there is a person who did something for me what was really nice but that I didn't ask for it and I also need to admit that I didn't really want. However, the fact that the person dedicated a lot of time and effort into this I could at least appreciate. But somehow it felt wrong for me. Like lying. So, I preferred not say anything. However, the person noticed it and got disappointed. It's like someone gave you a gift that you don't really like but at least you can pretend that you would like it. Or the fact that someone is giving something to you. I was wondering if this was my ego who overruled my actions and I could not figure out how to change it. So, I decided to be really open about it and tell it to the person like I feel. That I'm ashamed that I can't be grateful for this. However, this was completely the wrong thing I realized as I put myself in a victim role and it didn't improve it for the other person. So, I'm just confused and I'm looking for answers how I can stop my behavior and be more grateful. In the past, I did a lot of gratitude practices like journaling, lotus of gratitude but somehow I stopped it because I had other priorities. I feel I need to restart them again. But I'm not really sure if this would resolve the situation. Did anybody else experienced something similar? If yes, can you share some advice?

[Ve****]

I'm happiest when I am out in nature with lots of big trees. Being around water is very calming to me. Nature allows me to breath deeper and slower. It slows down all the crazy thoughts running through my brain. Being with animals has the same affect on me. I looking for away to find that peace and contentment in my every day life. To much stimulation of any kind cause to feel anxious. I hope I reading other peoples stories can make me see things and understand things differently

[Tine]

Hello @Yvonne, That's a complex and challenging situation.
First, I'd like to differentiate between the situation you describe and an overall need to feel more gratitude. Regarding a gratitude practice, you have the tools and experience and if you are aware that it would be beneficial to dedicate more time to those practices again and make then a priority you already have given yourself all the answers. You can trust your inner wisdom. ?

What I hear regarding the concrete situation you describe is that you do not want to receive the favour given to you and that's ok! You do not have to. Given our social structures and interconnectedness, rejecting a gift can be challenging as we also reject the social obligations that might come with it. Giving a gift and experiencing rejection is hard too that can be acknowledged and at the same time, resolving this for the other person is not your responsibility.
Maybe that's something for you to consider. Perhaps your unwillingness to accept the gift and be genuinely grateful is that you do now want the expectations that might be connected to the present—the conditions under which it's given.
A gift - like our love - is best given unconditionally, and in reality, it often isn't that easy. ❤️

[Yvonne]

Thank you @Vermeer and @Tine to share your wisdom. I appreciate the time and effort you put into the answers and I'm grateful that there is a tool like happiness where you find answers on challenging situations and questions. ❤️ 

 

[Le****]

Hallo!! Ich schreibe gerade meine Masterarbeit über das Thema Dankbarkeit und Lebenszufriedenheit und würde - wenn ich darf - einen Link zu meiner Befragung teilen. Ich würde mich freuen wenn möglichst viele Glücksinteressierte mitmachen und sich 15 min Zeit nehmen oder ihn an Freunde weiterleiten. Ich denke das Thema geht gerade in dieser Krisenzeit uns alle an

 

https://www.soscisurvey.de/danke2021/

 

Vielen lieben Dank!!