How to forget

[po****]

Well my partner cheated on me but I was also cheating now we have decided to forgive each but I can’t quite forget

[su****]

It's hard to imagine, because I wouldn't do that to my girlfriend... 

 

If you were both cheating, you should probably talk about your wishes and thoughts. Because it looks like you both needed something you couldn't give each other. 

And either you find a solution, how to make each other happy, or you might need different partners.

 

But I can't help you with forgetting or forgiving, since I didn't experienced something like that. 

[po****]

Thank you for much appreciated

[Li****]

Every relationship is different but I think if both of you were cheating, it doesn't sound like either of you were fulfilled or happy with the relationship.

 

If you are struggling with moving on together as a couple, it probably takes time and a lot of work to reestablish trust and move on from the cheating. Communication is key, talking about how you're feeling, why you cheated, what your levels of trust are at etc. 

[Tine]

My question would be: What can you not forget? That they cheated or that you did?

What would you need from them to forget yourself?

Maybe that's what your partner needs from you right now?

[po****]

The cheating from her side might sound unfair but yeah
I mean I have forgiven her but how will I know she won’t do it again
We are fixing things and we even tried new things and it’s getting better everyday

[su****]

39 minutes ago, port-elizabeth481 said:

I mean I have forgiven her but how will I know she won’t do it again

You know, why you did it, right?

So talk to her and be completely honest. Tell her, why you did it and tell her, what you missed in the relationship.

If she does the same, you will know, why she did it and what bothered her.

So you both know what you need to work on and you both know, what you can do to prevent it from happening again.

 

Communication is everything. It might not seem important, but it really is.

It's all about telling each other about your needs, your thoughts, your fears and it's a lot of work to fulfill each other's wishes.

[ne****]

It happens

[Tine]

2 hours ago, port-elizabeth481 said:

how will I know she won’t do it again

That's my point: How will she know you won't do it again?

So what I hear is that you crave to feel secure again in your relationship, to be able to trust her again.

Start with yourself: What can you do to make her trust you again?

[Tine]

1 hour ago, suedseefrucht said:

what you missed in the relationship

That is a worthwhile inquiry as well.

What do you miss in the relationship?

And maybe it's not even about the relationship - maybe you were insecure and looking for validation from outside. In my experience there's never enough validation from outside to fill the hole if we think something is wrong with us. Maybe what you need is self-acceptance, self-love. ❤️

[la****]

That's so natural, we want everything good nd right for us but not for others bcos basically we r quite selfish

[su****]

23 minutes ago, lalakhan said:

That's so natural, we want everything good nd right for us but not for others bcos basically we r quite selfish

I learned to treat others the way I would like to be treated.

 

That is very helpful if you want everything good and right in a relationship. 

[Ch****]

You cheat or he cheat, it is hard to forget each other because that is the matter of heart.

[he****]

Practically it's very hard to forgive someone.
A relationship after it, like a burden. But you can't get real satisfaction to renew a relationship on terms and conditions.

[Ri****]

I'm so lonely and broken

[Ri****]

Person you have you dont love but you cant even leave him.. How suffocating no??

[su****]

2 hours ago, Riyana said:

Person you have you dont love but you cant even leave him.. How suffocating no??

That's a bit confusing. 

So you are in a relationship. 

And you still feel lonely. 

But you don't love him? 

 

Did you ever love him?

If no, why did you even start the relationship? 

If yes, maybe you can talk about your relationship with him and find out how to get back to the sweet spot. 

[za****]

Easily not possible