How do you stop ruminating about bad stuff?

[Calvin77]

Going over past decisions or mistakes and beating myself up about stuff is something that's plagued me for ages. If I added up all the time I'd spent thinking 'what if' or 'why did I do it that way?' I think I'd probably start stressing over that too! ?

I was checking out this article about ruminating on the site and apparently humans spend half our waking hours thinking about something other than what we're doing. ??It also suggested three ways to try and stop ruminating on stuff. 

For me, one of the ideas of distraction seems to work best. If I'm busy with work, friends, exercise etc, my mind does focus on that and blocks out any chance of ruminating on the past. I think I'm getting better with my rumination and I now try to switch my thoughts to focus on solutions of the future. It's an ongoing problem, still working on it!

Does anyone suffer with this? I'd love to hear what techniques have worked for other people to try and stop ruminating so I can try them out. Peace!

 

[Li****]

I tend to do that too and it can be such an energy thief. I think I have the same technique, I try to busy myself spending time with friends or going to the gym. I think exercising is a great way to take a break from any stress or negative thoughts, and it really clears my head. Sometimes it can also be good to vent with a friend just to get it out of your system. In some cases it feels like nothing works, and then I guess you just have to put yourself in rice ??‍♀️

[Ma****]

Hello, i am sufering of exactly the same thing .... oh yesss, and now i will start to stop it and think of future steps, as you said, ithis makes so much more sense !!!! thanks for your message!

[Calvin77]

19 hours ago, Marlene said:

Hello, i am sufering of exactly the same thing .... oh yesss, and now i will start to stop it and think of future steps, as you said, ithis makes so much more sense !!!! 

Hey Marlene! Great news... I hope that you find something that works. Let us know how you get on.

[Tine]

I can relate. Going over the same thing again and again ...

There are numbers thrown around on the internet, but I think that's something for everyone to figure out themselves:

• Which percentage of your thoughts is repetition?
• Which percentage is negative?
• Which is even both?

I try to identify those. Mindfulness meditation is one way to practice that. And the negative and repetitive thoughts I catch I tell them, "I see you negative repetition, you have been heard already, and you can leave." Name it to tame it. :-)

[Ro****]

One of the values from meditation is to train your brain so you can control these thoughts, rather than them controlling you.  Through meditation you realize that thoughts are a constant stream.  No matter how hard one tries, you will always have thoughts.  I have found, through meditation, that rather then trying to avoid thoughts, I can recognize it for what it is (a thought in my mind, not based on reality) and it fads.  I’d encourage anyone struggling with “monkey mind” to look into meditation.  It takes practice (like everything in life).

[Calvin77]

25 minutes ago, Rob said:

One of the values from meditation is to train your brain so you can control these thoughts, rather than them controlling you.  Through meditation you realize that thoughts are a constant stream.

Agreed! I have tried meditation to some degree but sometimes the thoughts persists and part of me almost wants to beat myself up! Do you have a particular meditation technique that you recommend @Rob?

[Sh****]

I do two things: I have an app on my phone and iPad called ‘Mindfulness bell’. It allows you to set custom reminders throughout the day (say, every half hour). When the bell rings, it simply reminds me to be ‘present’ in the now. I take a few breaths while focusing on the sensation of breathing to clear my mind. And I love what Tine said about the negative thoughts, say: “I see you negative repetition, you have been heard already, and you can leave." Name it to tame it. ?