Moderator Popular Post Candy Posted December 18, 2019 Moderator Popular Post Posted December 18, 2019 (edited) Coping with loss, grief and loneliness during the holidays. Most people associate grief only with death, forgetting that we can grieve very many things that could include breakups, divorce, moving cities, being estranged from family members, death, friends or family in prison, etc. Many of us don't choose to be alone. Still, not everyone has a family to go to, and not everyone can afford the travel expense of visiting family members who live far away or abroad, while others have lost family or friends in other ways. The best way to overcome this feeling of loneliness during the holiday period, I found, is to allow yourself time to grieve and be sad. To feel and delve deep into those feelings that we so quickly want to avoid. Journaling is a fantastic tool to help process and release emotions if you don't feel like talking to anyone about it. A lot of us also have expectations of how the holidays should be, based on past experiences — expectations which leave us disappointed and frustrated when not fulfilled. Taking care of ourselves is essentially our own responsibility, and a great way to feel better and do better is to do things that make us feel good. Sleep more, eat healthy as often as we can, work out even for 20 minutes a day (if available to you), sit in the sun, read, meditate, go for a walk. For many people, pride, fear, timidness or shame prevents them from reaching out and asking for help. Please know that you're not the only one feeling these emotions or going through the grieving process, and it's totally ok to reach out and let people know your struggle. Open yourself to offers of help or invitations to events, even if you don't feel like going at all. It might be a blessing in disguise. Most importantly, find and do things you LOVE and that bring you joy. Most of us have time off work from the end of this week. Use that time to HAVE SOME FUN! Be it something you've always wanted to try, or something you haven't done in a looooong time. Just do it - as the ol' Nike saying goes. The holidays don't HAVE to be lonely. You do have a choice, and there's a lot you can do to heal and evolve. So, for anyone feeling lonely, lost, sad or emotional, this is for you. You're not alone. There's a bunch of people in this little community who'd be happy to lend an ear or a shoulder, I'm sure. I wish you all the best possible holiday season. For more on this topic, please check out this week's featured article in the Magazine. Edited December 18, 2019 by Candy
Members Guest User Posted December 19, 2019 Members Posted December 19, 2019 Hi Candy, that's some really good advice for Christmas. I will be alone, but definitely not lonely, and I will probably be a bit sad too being the first Christmas without my wife after she left the marriage. I already have been thinking of what I will do and intend on being active and not feeling sorry for myself. I have met so many people who have been through a breakup, and it's refreshing to know most of them are happy now and have moved on. So I have hope, and some good friends too
Members Popular Post EY**** Posted December 19, 2019 Members Popular Post Posted December 19, 2019 Hi Candy, Thank you for creating this topic. It's not easy for me to admit. But Xmas holiday is likely the most lonely time for me of the year. Especially this year. My husband always travels in December to visit his parents in Asia. And we are going through a rough patch. There's a possibility that we will separate after he gets back this time. My family is also in Asia. So I will be spending a lot of holiday time alone. (Have to work myself plus travel is too expensive) I try very hard to bring up my spirit by reading good books, enjoy music, watch good movie, hang out with friends, and exercise. All helped a lot. Though from time to time, I'd still be struck by this deep sense of sorrow not having my closed ones around me and not knowing how my marriage will be going. Anyway, thank you for writing this topic. It helps a lot to know I'm not the only one that's not totally "cheerful" during this Xmas season. At least I'm trying! Guess that's what really matters.
Members Guest User Posted December 20, 2019 Members Posted December 20, 2019 9 hours ago, EYC said: Hi Candy, Thank you for creating this topic. It's not easy for me to admit. But Xmas holiday is likely the most lonely time for me of the year. Especially this year. My husband always travels in December to visit his parents in Asia. And we are going through a rough patch. There's a possibility that we will separate after he gets back this time. My family is also in Asia. So I will be spending a lot of holiday time alone. (Have to work myself plus travel is too expensive) I try very hard to bring up my spirit by reading good books, enjoy music, watch good movie, hang out with friends, and exercise. All helped a lot. Though from time to time, I'd still be struck by this deep sense of sorrow not having my closed ones around me and not knowing how my marriage will be going. Anyway, thank you for writing this topic. It helps a lot to know I'm not the only one that's not totally "cheerful" during this Xmas season. At least I'm trying! Guess that's what really matters. Hi EYC, what a difficult situation you are in. Well done for reaching out, there are many people around the world that will be in a similar situation, look at things with objective eyes, and treasure the small moments of happiness however the appear. Sometimes time apart con solidify feelings for each other, or confirm them. If it Is the end, then don't stress too much. Yes it will hurt, even the very best breakups hurt, but it will get easier. Work on yourself over the Christmas season, find out what you want. Joining this community is a great start.
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