Is this a twin flame ? Karmic? Or soulmate

[Ca****]

hello all ! i met someone over two years ago.  before even noticing physical attribute i fell in love with his energy as soon as he sat dowm before me . it was like a vortex of familar energy calm but strong it settled me down almost putting me to sleep. once i saw the face to the energy it was unbelievable he was like something i dreamed into the world . every time my roommate would bring him by the instant we locked eyes it was intense and overwhelming we would just stare for a second as time went on I noticed a push-pull dynamic there were brief periods where he would be in and out of my life we would play The blocking unblocking game on Facebook mainly me in the start I always sensed he would come back I always trust that he would be back when he did leave for short periods of time out of my life during those times I felt anxiety and missed him we weren't really close friends at the start but I felt like I known him my whole life and maybe lifetimes before I never read about twin flames or soul mates during our separation I would read up you know trying to put in my symptoms of our connection and twin flame came up it seemed like the perfect description of what was going on. anyway I recall a time where we sat down in my bedroom and I felt this heavy energy around us it was almost like falling into a vortex and it was strange I remember hearing something outside of my mind saying I known you four lifetimes or something along those lines I can't remember exactly what it was was almost like I went into a deep meditation for a second and I have no recollection but I'm glad it was just intense energy imagine The vortex around us things will fall over for the following weeks there's lots of energy high vibrations I just recall him making me like so happy I knew I could trust him I knew when we would fight it was coming out of a place of love and it's more like constructive criticism we didn't talk much but it was like me to look at each other and we just know what was going on she said to me before I know you better than you can imagine which is strange because you know we never really spoke. I remember first in the beginning I picked him up from his home and as soon as I got in the car I felt the Simpson pieces usual almost onto meditative state I'm a thought crossed my mind saying you feel like home I have no clue what the word home men and apparently walked eyes he was staring at me through the rearview mirror. as a relationship got stronger the energy got more and more it's like I just knew him so well without actually knowing him she would always come around at the right times he would always answer my messages when he did it's like he knew what was going on with me there were times where I knew it was going to run with him I would sit there be like he's making coffee and I would message him he could home you know sitting by the coffee maker there were signs from the universe almost as if the universe is writing to me and bold italics like like home there are times where he would say I'm not home right now or you know I don't feel at home and I would feel a sense of I love you I'm associated with that word that's at the universe word in bold italics you would leave items to my house and it's almost a bold italic moment of I'll be back in always to come back we have similar personalities but the same time very Jane Yang push and pull type of personalities movie with this degree we would just agree he had qualities lilacs I had qualities that he lacks only had say mirror in qualities but they said it always came from a place of he cared I was in an abusive relationship at the time I met him and then he abusive relationships we both were on drug addicts once I met him my life started clearing up it became clear to me I needed help the idea of maybe a life with him in the future cat crossing my mind and you know that wasn't the right reason to go to rehab about a year or year-and-a-half later I can go to rehab we hung with the same circlebut I felt like I know him I whole life I may be like times before I never read about since lanes or soulmates during our separation I would read up yo trying to put in my symptoms of our connection and twin flame came up its seem like the perfect description of what was going on. anyway I recall a time where we sat down and my bedroom and I felt the heavy energy around us it was almost like falling into vortex and it was strange the I remember hearing something outside of my minds saying I know you for lifetimes or something along those lines I can't remember exactly what it was theirs almost like I went into meditative state when receiving these messages .   I would receive these messages often  when with him . There was a time I drove to pick him up and the minute he got into the car and instantly felt at peace as usual  and a thought came outta no where almost like a loud o feel at home . I didn't get recoginize the meaning of home in twin flame relationship at the time . About a month in my energy was going hay wire things were falling off the walls and at times when we walk together it was like a magnetic pull toward each other . Symbols became almost metaphor or a secret language like home when used between us vibrated with I love you and car became a symbol I have no clue what that symbolized but he would see a car and say that's beautiful almost as I'd speaking to me directly or he would tell me what needed to be fixed with his car like it needed fuel and I would be hungry  or it would be overheating or he'd tell a about about a car and I'd be dehydrated almost as if speaking to me . Me and him both struggle with addiction I was in a abusive relationship (now my ex boyfriend) at the time my boyfriend father of our son was natrually insecure around him and I spent most time with other men . He would act weird and intimidated even though there was nothing pervceivable being done . I could tell at glance what he was thinking about other people or situations around us he would make a joke that sounded like normal but it was funny to us . Once he entered my life changes started happening rapidly for the betterment of my life and spiritually development . People who were not true to me disappeared . People didn't like us together they would instantly get defensive (those who weren't good for me or him ) . I lost people i ended up getting evicted he never would give me easy advice or baby me he would make sure I got the lesson or overcame a struggle . My child got taken temporary I lost my home my belongings and at some point my mind . Between the drugs and the situations things got what seemed like worse at the time...and I wanted to give up. He literally was the only person who could cheer me up or I could trust . Looking back I now discovered a pattern of codependent nature of me so there was a lesson In that. Eventually his finances and his car became a struggle he started going down hill to and our connection became strained both feeling negative energy and emotions. It was harder and harder to see each other every time we would make plans the oddest thing would happen  as if preventing us the universe itself . I started to not understand him as much . We did have sex once and my intuition became so strong and my sense of him  that and the drugs did not Mix with that almost causing a pshychosis because my vibration and the messages were in mean spirit .  We became more and more distant after . I remember knowing a immense separatation was going to occur . He started seeing someone as I was off and on with my boyfriend at the time and he never really spoke about her . He became distant . I have no clue if he knew all these things were happening on. Concious level like I did. He did aknowledge once or twice he knew me better then I  thought  or he would somehow know what was going on iny life and would tell me things about how I needed to  do something in order to better my life . I was so sure god meant for us to be but the signs stop coming the connection stopped. I stopped feeling his energy  I almost forgot who he was as a person . He started avoiding me   
Eventually rehab was my only choice I departed for flordia two months ago . We spoke the whole way there now I am in halfway and loving being sober I still discover little lessons in ur relationship daily and no matter what I can't seem to forget him or worry I can sense his energy mildly and he went of the grid. He won't text back old friends who were in our circle can't get him on text or social media which gives me hope he to has let go of that life . He was only using with me at the time I was his main source and he was mine. It did become toxic in that sense . I just hope we're in separation and that I wasn't crazy and god has a plan for us . I know deep down he loved me and I know with each and more clear day and clarity what I felt was real but now I question it. The obsession is lifting but I can't forget him or thank him enough for all he did for me and my growth spiritually and as a individual . He did ask my friends how I was doing at rehab so he did care but the silence makes me feel like we never had anything and it was in my head when I get to dount I have no I'll will towards him it's a unconditoonal love . There are sonsa I listen to that he used to play in the car that was almost like he was speaking to me . We had common music tastes and personality wise he has qualites I didn't and I had quality he didn't but much alike emotionally and on th same journey's .same things happening around the same time. Qualites that clashed and ones that mended  and coincided.  Ones he pointed out in me that he also had but wasn't aware once that started happening that's when tension and resentment arose when we would give eachother honest cristicism about parts we couldn't see In ourself . Shared the same mental health issues depression . Bipolar ect. I almost could read his mind I knew when he was gonna text me or knew he was drinking coffee id wonder what he was doing and bang he would text me saying having coffee almost as if the universe was verifying I wasn't crazy . When I'd pick him I could feel my energy briding to his house . Before the separation I would drive to our friends around the corner and I'd hear loud as say vibrations of distress getting louder as you'd get closer . Could be insanity but I was the most magical intense relationship and beneficial to spirtial growth  i ever found in any connection . I'm sad it's no longer I always imagined us healthy sober and clear . The times we were well slept and properly caring for ourselves we were perfect and understanding of one another up until a drug would enter our bodies then it went well to hell 
..I'm not fully understanding this relationship or twin flames soulmates ecr so any advice input ect. This distance pulls at my heart more then my mind but keeps me motivated but it hurts .trying to let go is easy. Moving on isn't something I'm trying to do I need to focus on me and my recovery just for today but anytime a male comes in or I get an attraction god takes them out of my way . 
All advice welcome 
Thanks for helping me clear this .
Namaste 
 
 

[Pn****]

she cooks well

[Tine]

We should have a humor section... I could do with more laughs ?