Recent loss & trauma

[Cl****]

Hey everyone. I lost my Dad at the end of September & am not sure where to go from here. I'm not as upset as when it first happened but I still feel sad often. It was hardest for me as I spent lots of time with him, supporting him through his worsening illness & saw things near the end that were awful. It's almost like I'm a different person now coz of all that's happened. 

I'm having bereavement counselling at the Hospice where he passed away which is helpful & the lady I see is soo nice. I mostly just talk about the things I've done or not been able to do since I saw her last. I'm now however, struggling to find my way past taking each day as it comes & getting everything done that needs doing. I often feel like it's a never-ending cycle of crap that is being thrown at me. One thing after another going wrong or things I find difficult. Will this process ever end? 

[Guest User]

Hi, my own experience with loss doesn't involve someone dying, but I have encountered similar feelings. It's taken me almost 9 months to start making sense of things and it's getting easier. Try not to take on too much too soon. You might find it easier to make a daily list of what you need to get done, and prioritise what needs to be done ahead of what you want to be done. It will take time and getting back to normal won't be the same because normal is now different. But it will get easier. Have you thought about meditation ? I found a small group to meditate with, and it's been really rewarding for my mental health. Ultimately try not to focus on the end of your dad's life, but just remember him the way he was before that. It's all a part of a cycle, you will have good days and bad, but the bad days get easier. I hope you find some peace, and if you are able, just slow down and take a deep breath, things might start to become clearer. 

[Sa****]

I lost my mum few years ago it does get easier but you have to let yourself grieve and be down I tried to ignore it but that didn’t help. Also exercise really helps and trying new things. Alcohol isn’t a good idea just makes you feel more down just eat well get lots of rest and try and keep busy

[Guest User]

Your struggle may come from not realizing that dad is still here....in your heart.....search the archive of experiences you had with him and take time while meditating to listen to him....hesntrying to guide you my dear :-)

[Jo****]

I can suggest a resource on Facebook - Life After Loss with Louise Creswick. She supports people who are trying to come to terms with grief and other forms of loss. They have a closed community with free resources, healing activities and any time you are really struggling; you can contact her for a one to one.