I'm a loner

[xa****]

The one thing that I would want people to know about me is that I am an introvert.

[su****]

Welcome! 

I'm an introvert too, but I'm trying to become more open, because I noticed it can be good to share things with the right people. 

 

On the one hand, it can be really good if you got used to it. No one can hurt your feelings, you can do whatever you want without discussion and no one tells you what to do. 

On the other hand, it can be nice to get a second opinion and going to a restaurant alone feels weird. 

 

How do you feel about being an introvert or being lonely?

[Tj****]

Right

[xa****]

It's just my nature I guess. I miss my late wife, she was my best friend. I would like to get a dog.

[su****]

Relationships based on a friendship are great.
Pursuing hobbies is a great way to find friends.

[xa****]

Thanks, I'll remember that.

[Tine]

On 4/9/2022 at 1:58 PM, xaf208 said:

The one thing that I would want people to know about me is that I am an introvert.

The one thing I would have liked to know about myself earlier is that I am an introvert. 🙂

Once I had that figured out life became a bit easier. I had to stop playing the role of the extrovert which didn't fit and I was able to understand my needs and possibilities much better.

[xa****]

Yes, I agree. Probably the most difficult aspect of it though is being misunderstood by people in general.

[su****]

Misunderstood in which way?
Do you have an example?

[Tine]

I have a classic example: I would go to a party - put my extrovert disguise on and play a role for a while. This person who wasn't really me would make some friends who would then reach out a day or two later but I wouldn't be able to reply as the real me as I thought they'd expect extrovert me to put on a show again.

 

Hm, that's not an example of a misunderstanding but for creating false expectations.

Anyway, now that I have typed it I'll post it ;-)

[xa****]

Right. Well, if you follow your natural tendencies as an introvert people tend to get offended because they think that you are ignoring them or don't like them for some reason.

[su****]

I just had to google to understand, what introversion means exactly.

Appearently, introverts like to establish contacts, just like extroverts, but on a smaller scale.
And this is exactly, how I act on a party. I stay in the background, I listen and I think about the things, people talk about. When I find an interesting conversation in a smaller group, I join in.

 

[Tine]

6 minutes ago, suedseefrucht said:

I stay in the background, I listen and I think about the things, people talk about. When I find an interesting conversation in a smaller group, I join in.

Exactly. These days I know how to navigate a party and be myself. Before, I thought I had to act certain ways to fit it, which was hurtful to myself and others.

[xa****]

Right. An introvert will usually have only one or two close friends, whereas an extrovert will likely have many groups of friends. We tend to keep to ourselves and only get involved in situations that genuinely interest us, rather than feel a need to constantly socialize and get involved.

[su****]

So is extroversion even healthy/good?
I mean... Discussing boring topics just to talk about something sounds desperate to me.

But maybe it makes sense to some personalities.
There are analytic personalities like me, but there are also very social focussed personalities.

[xa****]

Yeah, I'm no psychologist I just know that most people generally fit into either one or the other category. I suppose going too far in either direction isn't really healthy though.

[Tine]

I think it's about what nourishes you.

I enjoy a party and chitchatting with lots of people, making new connections but it drains me, while at the same party I can sit with one or two people engaged in a long discussion and it nourishes me.

[xa****]

I feel the same way.

[Sa****]

I’m an introvert too feels weird sometimes