To love and to lose...

[Tr****]

I had a falling out with my best friend recently... And I don't know why it's affecting me so much. It feels as though it's a loss and it hurts cause I don't even know why she stopped returning my calls. I've reached out so many times with no response and finally decided to give up ... In all honesty I'm hurt. I feel abandoned by her, I feel rejected.... I know I should let it go.... I know the friendship obviously means more to me than her now cause she just disappeared Without an explanation.... I pretend that I'm okay to everyone cause everyone will think I'm being stupid. Maybe if I acknowledge my pain and accept what is, I will be able to mourn and let go of what was... As time goes I'll be ok...☹️☹️😢

[su****]

Being hurt is not stupid. It means, you care honestly and that's beautiful.

And if she doesn't recognize this treasure of someone who cares, someone else will.

Edited April 5, 2022 by suedseefrucht

[fi****]

It will hurt for a while but over time you will heal. Life doesn't give us losses only lessons. After the healing, the lessons learned will present themselves. The hardest part will be to not let this situation affect future relationships. 

[Guest User]

As someone who lives with depression and anxiety, I have to ask if maybe she struggles with her mental health? How long have you known each other? 

My friends who really know me, know that sometimes I need to step away and I sometimes self-isolate for long periods because life is too overwhelming. Not saying that's what's going on but something to consider? Take care ❤️ 

[su****]

29 minutes ago, Judes62 said:

self-isolate

Maybe she is self-isolating for some reason but I would expect at least something like "Hey, I'll be back, when I feel better".

Ghosting without any comment is pretty cruel, especially to a friend.

[Tr****]

2 hours ago, suedseefrucht said:

Maybe she is self-isolating for some reason but I would expect at least something like "Hey, I'll be back, when I feel better".

Ghosting without any comment is pretty cruel, especially to a friend.

It's been 2 months, she posts actively on social media but doesn't respond to me. My issues is what do I do if she decides to come back after how ever Long?.... How do I handle it? We have mutual friends and an event is coming. Would it be cruel of me to pretend she's not there not even interact at the event?

[su****]

3 hours ago, Trixxie said:

Would it be cruel of me to pretend she's not there not even interact at the event?

Cruel is not the word I would use to describe the situation. I think ignoring someone who is clearly there, is weird, because you pretent something unreal.

Personally I would not be able to enjoy the event when I felt weird.

Just because she is acting disrespectful right now, you don't have to go down to her level.

You can treat people like a close friend, like family, like a casual friend, like a colleague or like a stranger. There may be something in between too.

So listen to your heart and decide, how you want to treat her. If you really dont like her anymore, at least treat her like a stranger.

So you don't have to like her, you don't have to share anything personal with her, you don't have to compliment her, but keep a basic level of respect, so you can still look at yourself in the mirror.

This way you might still be able to enjoy the party and you are not being childish by pretending you can't see or hear someone who is clearly there.

 

As an example, you might have read about will smith and his slap?
If someone does something disrespectful, you can talk about it, you don't have to like the person, you are free to leave, but keep basic respect for your own good.

Edited April 6, 2022 by suedseefrucht

[lo****]

What I was thinking of while reading your post, was that there was nothing irregular in falling out with someone, who'd fallen out with us first. I would rather say this is a natural reaction. Changed are the circumstances, so changing we are. For myself I found https://burlingtongazette.ca/how-to-communicate-with-a-girl-properly-tips-for-guys/ and decided to move on, even if I am not happy in love now. But I don't give up on myself.