Who do I call to help me with money-based family matters?

[Ca****]

I want to order love dolls from 4woods, but mom disapproves for the following: the money in my bank account is for emergency purposes - due to the inflation crisis costing us more funds for bare necessities, the pandemic is still here and although the omicron wave settled, it may rise again, and she says if I want 2 dolls, she needs me to get my own house to rent and see if I can support myself financially. This money is my money, from my years of work at the bottle depot. But now, due to the inflation, she wants to save it for the bare necessities. But she claims most of it now is from her savings, even though she sold an apartment recently, which should now supply her with enough proceeds to last her for a while.

She still refuses to help me order from 4woods as she wants a cheaper brand of love dolls. She claims "silicone is just silicone", but 4woods silicone is much different from other love doll silicone as - if made under the right season, can last literally forever and if you handle it properly. But I keep telling her there's no other brand of love dolls that look like what I'm going after. You know how long I've been searching for the perfect girl from my fantasy world? Never, in a million years, did I think I could actually forge a girl right from my own imagination. Well now, I can create her or them right there! But that kind of cost doesn't come cheap. As the golden rule is: The more you need, the more it will cost you. Plus, this is my future she's looking at and she wants her son to have a happy ending once she passes. But right now, I'm not happy due to her rejection of a special, yet explicit but safe goal I want to accomplish: intimately meeting the girls of my dreams. As normal girls on average wouldn't do that as that would be deemed rape and leads to jail charges.

Speaking of passes, any day could be the day she never sees the light of tomorrow/leaves me... permanently; eventually, this condo unit will all be mine, so I don't feel like gathering even more money to find a cheap and affordable bachelor pad, let alone move just to invite some lifeless girls I desire as I've already got cozy in this 5085 Eastpark ground floor condo. You really never know when your time is up.

So if there's any like support workers or lawyers in Vancouver BC, Canada that supports this type of situation, please reply ASAP.


To help answer some potential questions, here's some answers below:

First, can I regain full control of my own bank account? If I can, how?

Next, this money I earned is from my old bottle depot job at Regional Recycling while half of it is from my government autism fund support.

Third, my mom help me create my bank account as she has her own separate bank account. I even have my own RBC card to access it. But she does most of the checking on my account via her iPhone. That's the part that's impeding me from doing whatever I want with my own hard-earned money.

Fourth, I have the RBC app and there's an RBC bank branch nearby.

Fifth, 4woods does not use credit cards, they use SWIFT or wire transfer.

Sixth, although this bank account she help me make is mine, she's currently in control of it via her iPhone RBC app. She can transfer funds from my bank account to hers and vice versa if she has to.

Seventh, yes, I can make decisions about my account savings on my own.

Eighth, no, to make large purchases, she doesn't need to approve them from my account. I just need her permission to order something and she does the rest as she know how the controls of an online mobile baking app works. But here in this case, she says no to this order request.

Ninth, yes, she has my credentials (bank card number and password).

And tenth, yes, she is feeding me and supplying all the bare necessities, so due to that, I basically get to live here for free. She even called me a leech for "using money from her" even though I haven't purchased anything unnecessary as of today - at least not yet. She use to work as a banquet server, but she got laid off due to the pandemic. So now she works at a plastic bag factory and she isn't making as much as she use to. So basically the financial stress is getting to her and that's what's causing her to reject my next order request. I'm already under a roof, supplied with food, etc. I just need a booster shot and a very decent job to show her I'm no money leech and that I am spending accordingly. Due to my autism, I can't explain clearly. Also, since she's 56.5, she retires in 3.5 years from now. So she won't earn anymore money by then.

[su****]

A friend of mine is fighting against a family member with a lowyer. A different topic, but I can tell, it's very ugly.

So since you are 26 and your mom cares for you by feeding you and giving you space to live, the bare minimum you can do is to support her financially.

 

I can feel your rage, but think about, what happens if you and your mom really fight each other like strangers.

You woud have to pay rent for a place to live, you would have to pay food, you would have to do household tasks...
I bet it would be less expensive, if you just help her out a little bit.

 

If you want certainty about your money in the future, you can just create another private bank account, where you put your money. And you could negotiate an agreement with your mom, how much money you pay her every month. This way, she can get along, you dont have to worry about your living situation and you can put aside some money for your dreams.

 

Fighting your family should be avoided whenever possible. She cares for you, so she loves you and if you fight with lawyers, it will hurt you both + you will have to pay the lawyers.

Edited March 26, 2022 by suedseefrucht

[Ca****]

4 hours ago, suedseefrucht said:

Fighting your family should be avoided whenever possible. She cares for you, so she loves you

I know, but some parents can go to extreme measures to care for their children... to the point where they lose their trust. Just watch this: 

 

[su****]

2 hours ago, Cartoondude135 said:

Just watch this: 

That's abuse of office.

I recommend talking to your mom so you can put the money on your own private bank account. You can offer her some money to get along in return.

 

But before you go the ugly path, make sure, you can afford your own appartment, food and stuff. Because if it goes wrong, you will be in a very bad position.

[Ai****]

The financial planner of your family is one who is responsible for making decisions and taking care of the finances in your family. When the family has gathered money, the financial planner has to do several things. The first thing he has to do is make sure that everyone in the family agrees to contribute some amount of money every month to a common fund. While we may feel like calling this 'his' fund since he is the one maintaining it, we could also call it a joint venture since everyone contributes towards it.

[Re****]

Sometimes parental controls become a problem. I also have children, but I immediately outlined personal boundaries that I definitely will not go beyond. This also applies to personal life and their finances. My eldest son is into football and can sometimes try to win some money. But I do not reproach him with this, as I clearly understand that he has the right to make his adult choice and receive his adult experience.

[su****]

3 hours ago, RebLinn said:

But I do not reproach him with this, as I clearly understand that he has the right to make his adult choice and receive his adult experience.

Sometimes, people 've got do what people 've got to do, but they deserve a warning.
And maybe one day they will listen to your warning in the first place 🙂
Or not 😀

Edited June 22, 2022 by suedseefrucht