Is it just me ?

[th****]

Wherever I go, a new school, a new college or a tuition, I tend to find the most compatible person of the other sex and try to bond with them. Not that I am desperately trying to get into a relationship, but I know that I am choosy in life, it has been always been hard for me to make friends, bond with people on a deeper level...you get it. 

 

Does this happen with everyone ? Or is it just me ?

 

Everything happens subconsciously. I don't even want to fall in love. When I get closer to the person, I go into a state where I am confused whether to go further into it, or just back off. I know I am not ready to indulge in relationships at this age, I need to focus on building my career. 

 

Also, I am a person of emotional depth, rushing into a relationship would be the last thing I do. But I do not know how long I should wait. They say you will know when the right time comes. But the right time never seems to come. The feelings just rise and fall. Sometimes the emotional side takes over and the logical side at other times. 

 

I do not even go try finding someone online. Nor do I comment or reply to stories, trying to initiate a conversation. You understand what I am trying to say ? I am not consciously looking for love. 

 

What should be my lookout in life ? Any comments would be helpful.

 

And to the one who has read so far, I wish you the best in life.

[su****]

When you are over 18 years old, there is no perfect or wrong age for a relationship.
It happens when it happens.
If you look back, the things you will regret the most are the things you didn't do.
So if you like her, go for it and ask her out for a date.

Either she likes you too and you get to spend more time with her or you can stop waiting for the right moment.

 

How do you "find the most compatible person of the other sex"? Do you just look at the people, do you team up with them in school projects?

In my opinion the best way to meet a future partner is to share a hobby. So when I was single, I did what I liked to do with other people.

It can be anything like a sports club, photography, even gaming. This way you get to know the people in a relaxed environment and you see who is the person you like to work with.

[th****]

@suedseefrucht to give more context to my post, I have known this girl since long, she has been in my class in college for an entire semester. We have worked together on multiple class presentations, projects and that is how I got to know, and eventually fell for her. For the current semester, we have done our minor project together (I am a Computer Science student), we went to the library together, studying for the semester exams. For me, we were pretty close.

 

Recently I observed, she has an outlook towards life which summarizes as "It is necessary to be good to everyone." She is friends with everyone, literally everyone. Maybe a little popular (she got a recent popularity spike) too. I get lost in the vast majority of guys texting her all day, trying to draw her attention. The way she talks to me is the way she talks to everyone. She would literally go out with anyone who invites her (she loves to travel so...you know). She likes to live in the moment, even if it means getting a guy attached to her, only to reject him later.  Also, he has rejected around 10 guys in college.

 

We had the strongest bond in college. Now that we don't see each other (summer vacations are on, conversations on text get boring), I feel the bond loosening, I feel the need to back off, but she wants me to be in her team for projects (which is not a green signal, it is just I am on the smarter side) but I cannot decide what is best for me.

 

I can see the bond diminishing but can't decide what would be worse - letting go of my feelings for her at the moment (to see if things work out in the future) or speaking out my feelings and fail terribly.

[su****]

Sounds like you could have good chances.
You already know each other and she likes working with you.
And since she would go out with anyone, you should be able to go out with her.
Yes, there are other guys, but you can become the most important one to her.
If you meet on a regular basis, you'll become the guy she knows the best and the one she trusts the most.
Maybe you will travel together one day.
You can make it an romantic relationship slowly, but at some point you should straightly ask her if she wants a romantic relationship with you or not. Otherwise she will probably just see you as a friend.

[Ph****]

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