The trappings of the work home cycle.

[Pa****]

Hello

 

I know I can't be alone in this, but it seems like life becomes something of a horrible cycle between your bed at home and your seat at work, and any semblance of joy you end up killing, be that drinking too much coffee, too much wine, too much of a game etc, just so you get that feeling of control, or a flicker of joy. What's even worse is you attach yourself to people or things, and that almost becomes your purpose, but because of the low energy of your life mixed with the high expectation 'this thing' or person, who will somehow overcome all of life's misery,  instead makes you feel flat upon contact with the enemy when you realise there was little to be gained, nothing but the hole in your stomach and black tar on your brain. I sit here now, my children asleep, listening to the sounds of cars driving by and sometimes the heightened chatter of passers by. Yet within me I feel that horrible sinking feeling that with each passing second, the world becomes further and further away from my reach.

[su****]

That sounds like you just function, but you don't really live.
I had a phase, when I went to the university full-time and went to work as half-time job and I just functioned and went through. And now that I'm an engineer, there is more time for hobbies, a girlfriend and fun.

 

You can live a little. Maybe go camping with your family, try a new hobby, meet friends, take the time to cook great meals, ...
Maybe even try to teach your kids woodworking, build a bird house or something like that.

Edited May 19, 2023 by suedseefrucht

[Pa****]

I haven't done woodwork since secondary school! I made one of those old fashioned clock things. I'm okay socially but I don't make friends very often.