New Guy

[Th****]

Greetings.  I'm here to see if I can still make new friends, something I haven't done for many years.  Personal relationships are more important to me than community, so if I'm unable to become involved with an interesting person or three here, I'll probably fade out.  Not to say that I want to discourage anyone from casually interacting with me.  I have a great personal interest in optimizing my experience of my existence and overcoming traumas.

 

Some basic not-to-specific info;  I'm male, mid-thirties, live in rural midwestern USA,  have a BS but work manual labor, no kids, single, white, atheist, Myers-Briggs INTP, Enneagram 5w4 593 sx/sp.  I'm big, wear glasses, have a beard, and dress for comfort and convenience rather than fashion.  I imagine that covers the basics.  Looking forward to interesting people and conversations!

[se****]

Hi, why don't we create a conversation and get new people into it who we can help with our advice? 
How is the weather in the countryside today? 

[Ha****]

Hi new guy. How are you I am not great at personal relationships like friendship I tend to be the person who just listens. So I also dress for comfort not fashion.

[Th****]

9 hours ago, seller said:

Hi, why don't we create a conversation and get new people into it who we can help with our advice? 
How is the weather in the countryside today? 

Snow in April;  it looks like white noise out my window.  If you start a conversation, I'll see what happens and maybe join up.

 

 

38 minutes ago, Harleylovespuddin said:

Hi new guy. How are you I am not great at personal relationships like friendship I tend to be the person who just listens. So I also dress for comfort not fashion.

I've no specific complaints at the moment, so I'd say I'm alright.  If you're a good listener, don't look down on yourself for it.  Have confidence in your good qualities, because someone you know appreciates them.

[Ha****]

Thanks everyone in my life right now is looking to me to be the fixer. Everyone just wants something from me. I wish I did have people  that appreciated it but right now it just feels like what can I do for them is the question. Sometimes you just want to be in the background.

[se****]

6 hours ago, Harleylovespuddin said:

Thanks everyone in my life right now is looking to me to be the fixer. Everyone just wants something from me. I wish I did have people  that appreciated it but right now it just feels like what can I do for them is the question. Sometimes you just want to be in the background.

I came to the conclusion yesterday that I need to insist on my opinion more often.
You have to listen to other people's opinions when you can't do anything on your own.
But listening to others first, doing things this way, and only then trying my own way is a disaster.

[Th****]

16 hours ago, Harleylovespuddin said:

Thanks everyone in my life right now is looking to me to be the fixer. Everyone just wants something from me. I wish I did have people  that appreciated it but right now it just feels like what can I do for them is the question. Sometimes you just want to be in the background.

Maybe you could start a thread here where you tell your story and ask for advice.  If nothing else, it would be practice for speaking your experience and asking for help, two things it sounds as if you have been denied IRL.

 

 

10 hours ago, seller said:

I came to the conclusion yesterday that I need to insist on my opinion more often.
You have to listen to other people's opinions when you can't do anything on your own.
But listening to others first, doing things this way, and only then trying my own way is a disaster.

It's true there are things you can only accomplish by your own wit and will.  Cutting off the opinions of others and forging your own path is something pioneers must eventually become capable of.  The step after that is to get back those relationships you cut yourself off from, the ones worth getting back at least.  If you have the ability to go it alone, then you'll have the latitude to cultivate your ability to go together with others.

[se****]

victory

[Mi****]

Hello everyone! I'm new here and looking into find a community that is friendly and supportive. Have a bipolar daughter and her autistic toddler living with me. Spouse's response when I try to explain how I'm feeling used and abused by family is "suck it up".