Self demand

[Di****]

Does parents have to choose what we want out of life?

[Tine]

@Divine Can you explain what you mean exactly?

If your parents should choose your job for you? Whom to marry?

An example would help :-)

[Guest User]

Absolutely not buddy

 

[Wa****]

Some parents believe they have the right to control their children's lives and make decisions for them even if they are adults
Sometimes you have to be careful about what they say because they have a special intuition if there is a danger, and sometimes when it comes to important things you have to think hard and why not consult with other people to help you to decide

[Ey****]

Maybe ya in some cause

[Tine]

The answer depends on the example.
For example, it depends on our age. A toddler won't make many decisions for themselves, but the older, the more agency we should have over our lives.
Our parents have a strong influence on us through our upbringing. What they want for us should be guided by love, care and wisdom, but it's our choice to accept their advice. Ideally, they'll have open and compassionate conversations with us, so we understand their point of view, and with the help of their insight, we can make better well-informed decisions. However, in the end, the decision is ours.

 

[Th****]

I think they do have experience but they may not be true all the time .. just they don't accept it... will we also be like them with our children too? 

[Berta]

1 minute ago, Thaz said:

will we also be like them with our children too

That's a good question @Thaz I can only speak for myself in regard to my children and about my parents relation to me.

My parents - while meaning well - forced their ideas on me in a harsh way. Especially the opinion of others mattered a great deal, so I/they had to always look good in the eyes of others. And while it came from a place of care and not knowing better this was very limiting for me.

So I tried to make it better with my children. I put a lot of effort into learning from what I perceived as "my parents mistakes". I think this part worked well and I have a great relationship with my children, but I made mistakes too.

I think that's the key: a good relationship - one that allows both to make mistakes, because no matter how hard we try we'll never be perfect and if we do not accept that we easily create too much preassure for ourselves through which we limit ourselves and the love that we allow to show.

[Ka****]

Parents will likely have some control over your actions in your early years, but young people need to stay open-minded, but respectful of their parent’s beliefs. The world’s knowledge base opened significantly since the Internet, and it’s much easier to research misconceptions from the past. Instead of being rebellious in tone to your parents’ beliefs, you can tell them that you have knowledge that may challenge their position on a subject. Then just let them know that you prefer to learn more on the subject before making a (same) decision. That lets them feel like you are respecting their position, while asking them to respect your in a nice way.