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If you're lacking fulfilment or direction in life, spiritual coaching can help you align your beliefs and values with purpose. Sonia Vadlamani explores how spiritual coaching can change your life’s course for the better, and what sets it apart from life coaching. In today’s competitive, success-obsessed world, many of us reach a point where we feel something is missing from our lives – a deeper sense of connectedness, a purpose beyond worldly pursuits, or a spiritual hunger that no amount of goal setting and accomplishments can seem to fulfil. This is where spiritual coaching can become incredibly helpful. What is Spiritual Life Coaching? Spiritual coaching aims to help individuals connect with their spiritual goals by aligning their values and beliefs to a purpose greater than themselves. While researchers agree that spirituality and wellbeing are interlinked, emerging studies suggest that spirituality also helps mediate the fear arising from uncertainty or challenging times, thus safeguarding one’s mental health and fostering emotional resilience. A spiritual coach acts as a guide or companion on your journey toward spiritual growth. Freud’s renowned Iceberg Theory is useful here: it uses an iceberg as the metaphor for the human mind, where the vast submerged part of the iceberg signifies the human unconscious mind, which has the largest impact on one’s personality and behavior, even though it’s more inaccessible than the visible ‘tip’ of the iceberg which represents the conscious mind. The role of a spiritual coach is to work with both – the visible or external aspects of your life, like your goals, setbacks, and daily activities, as well as underlying, deeper aspects that influence everything you do. 7 Ways a Spiritual Coach Can Help You Simply put, the role of a spiritual advisor is to provide the support and guidance you need to access your inner gifts to create a meaningful, authentic life that reflects who you truly are. Here are some ways spiritual life coaching can help you: 1. Navigate life transitions with ease Handling major transitions in life – whether a career change, moving to a new area, relationship shift, losing a parent and working through the stages of grief, or a health challenge – isn’t easy alone. Whether by choice or unexpected, such life changes can trigger existential questions and a need for expert guidance. This is where a spiritual coach can offer perspective and wisdom, helping you realize that life changes can also serve as stepping stones to personal growth. A spiritual coach will help you tap into your inner resources and overcome challenges and move forward in life. 2. Overcome fear and mental blocks Sometimes we subconsciously carry self-limiting thoughts and patterns that may hold back our growth. These may include ingrained beliefs about self-worth, fears about our capabilities, or doubts about success in career and relationships. Spiritual life coaching can help identify and address these blocks using techniques like energy cleansing, inner child work, and developing a growth or abundance mindset, thus enabling you to realize your fullest potential and live a fulfilled life. Spiritual coaches act as a guide to align your passions with purpose 3. Trust your intuition Each of us has, at some point, experienced a “hunch”, an inner voice, or a “gut feeling” about a decision or circumstance. This “ability to understand something instinctively, without any need for conscious reasoning or an explanation” is what we know as intuition, according to Dr Thomas R. Verny, clinical psychiatrist and author of the blog Explorations of the Mind. While this intuition is often accurate, we tend not to trust the feeling, given our majorly analytical, logic-driven minds. We fail to realize that intuitive thinking isn’t about unlocking psychic powers but about learning to recognize and trust the subtle signs from your body, your environment, and the knowledge accumulated from your past experience. Dismissing intuition sometimes makes us lose out on valuable guidance from our subconscious learning and prior experience. A spiritual coach can help you tap into your intuition and reinforce your connection with inner guidance, so that you can make better, more informed decisions. 4. Strengthen relationships and build community The power of community in creating a happy life can’t be ignored - research agrees that growth thrives when we’re surrounded by like-minded people who uplift us. In fact, studies show that relationships and spirituality are intertwined, suggesting that spirituality boosts the health of relationships, while healthy relationships aid one’s wellbeing and spiritual growth in turn. “Spiritual coaching aims to help individuals connect with their spiritual goals by aligning their values and beliefs to a purpose greater than themselves.” Indeed, a spiritual advisor can help you attract and develop relationships that aid your personal and spiritual development, helping you overcome loneliness, feel valued, and lead a meaningful life. 5. Find your life’s purpose At some point, all of us find ourselves questioning what we’re here to do, what’s the point of life, and where it’s taking us. While pondering about life’s purpose can help us to review their goals and improvise our next moves, it can also lead to confusion, feeling lost, and loneliness, sometimes resulting in depression and anxiety. Spiritual coaching can help you explore the answer to “Who am I?” by encouraging introspection and helping you uncover your unique gifts and strengths. Often this guided exploration goes beyond traditional career choices, enabling you to focus on showing up as the best version of yourself in every area of life. 6. Work through past trauma There’s a growing body of research highlighting the role of spirituality when it comes to healing from past trauma and developing a healthy outlook and building emotional resilience for the future. In her book Traumatic Stress and Long-Term Recovery, author Anna R Harper discusses how spirituality and religion influence how one perceives trauma, as well as the post-traumatic recovery process. Indeed, a spiritual coach can help you process your trauma better, in addition to helping you understand that while your trauma is painful, it’s also your gateway to growth and greater strength. Spiritual coaching helps you to overcome fears and addictions Interestingly, a study of 529 care leavers – or young individuals separated from parental care and placed in alternative care settings – from 11 nations revealed a strong connection between spirituality, well-being, and resilience, even when accounting for challenging life circumstances. Thus, building inner strength and emotional resilience to face life’s storms and uncertainties is another area a spiritual advisor can help with. 7. Overcome addiction One of the most practical ways spiritual coaching can benefit someone is addressing compulsive behaviors and addiction – not only by identifying the addiction itself but also the underlying triggers. In fact, research shows that religious faith and spirituality can play an active role in recovery from substance abuse. “A spiritual coach can offer perspective and wisdom, helping you realize that life changes can also serve as stepping stones to personal growth.” A spiritual coach can help clients realize that their addiction is often an unconscious effort to numb emotional pain or escape reality. Through this awareness, and by incorporating helpful techniques like conscious breathwork, meditation, and journaling, they can help connect individuals to a greater purpose, putting them on the path to a purpose-driven life. Spiritual Coach Vs Life Coach At first glance, spiritual coaching and life coaching can seem similar, as both serve to bring a positive change in individuals. However, they different in the aspects they focus on and their approach. Life coaching typically focus on: Setting, tracking, reviewing definite goals. Devising client-specific productivity hacks Performance and accountability reviews External behaviors and conscious thoughts Spiritual coaching explores deeper with: Exploring and examining your belief systems, thought patterns and values without judgment. Incorporating new perspectives and spiritual practices like meditation, energy work and journaling. Aligning your inner values and beliefs with your life purpose. Addressing your soul’s needs, not just your extrinsic goals. How Do You Become a Spiritual Coach? While the spiritual coaching training space is largely unregulated, some respected certification programs accredited by organizations like the International Coach Federation (ICF) offer training in necessary skills like the tutoring methodology, spiritual advancement techniques, and fair practices. Becoming a spiritual coach involves lifelong learning Most reputed spiritual coaches also study various spiritual practices like meditation and dream interpretation extensively on their own and with the help of their spiritual mentors. Developing core spiritual competencies in aspects like mindful compassion, active listening, radical acceptance, and cultivating safe spaces is helpful as well. Above all, effective spiritual coaching training involves lifelong learning – the best spiritual coaches continue to expand their study and skills through workshops, events, mentorships, and in their personal spiritual practices. Takeaway: Spiritual Coaching In a world driven by achievements and competition, spiritual coaching can guide you toward finding what matters most – living with purpose as your most authentic self, in alignment with your deepest values and goals. In essence, spiritual coaching shows us that there’s more to us than our to-do lists, professional achievements and materialistic pursuits – it’s about finding a purpose greater than ourselves and leading a meaningful life. ● Images: insta_photo, KieferPix, Lopolo happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Coaching | Leadership | Motivation | Assertiveness Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future-self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Sonia Vadlamani explores why making yourself a priority is an essential form of self-care. Learn how to put yourself first guilt-free with these 6 science-backed methods. Plus, get inspired for self-prioritization with some well-known 'put yourself first' quotes. For me, the need to put myself first began with a late-night phone call from a panicked former boss. It was close to 11pm on one of my leave days. I answered reluctantly, only to hear my ex-boss shouting about an incomplete presentation that wasn’t my responsibility – for a client meeting I wasn’t even a part of. “They left it incomplete,” she barked, “and I need your help right now to finish it. My meeting depends on this.” For context, I’d worked on the initial presentation that had helped bring this client in, but not since. Despite my will, my first instinct was to say, “Yes, of course! What do you need?” However, I stopped halfway through to ask myself: 'What’s compelling me to say yes when all I want to do is curl up in bed with a book? ' The answer was shockingly plain – I’d fallen into the habit of putting the needs of others before prioritizing myself. This often left me with burnout and exhaustion, not to mention the frustration and resentment of letting myself down. So, I mustered the courage and told my power-hungry former-boss: “Sorry, I can’t help you. I was just about to head to bed. All the best with your presentation, though.” Prioritize Yourself: Self-care and practice self-compassion While saying this wasn’t easy, it helped me identify an unhelpful pattern I'd carried for years. As I noticed the different scenarios where I put others first – often at the cost of my mental and emotional wellbeing – it became painfully clear that I needed to build healthy boundaries, not just at the workplace but in my personal life as well. The other surprising lesson: it’s important to consider your own needs and put yourself first sometimes in order to be more genuinely helpful for others. The oxygen mask analogy from airline safety makes complete sense in this context – you can only assist others after your own oxygen supply is secured! Similarly, we’re better equipped to care for others only once our own physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing are in check. Indeed, prioritizing yourself is essential. “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” Buddha Yet, many of us have somehow convinced ourselves that going above and beyond to fulfill others’ needs is what makes us “better” humans. Experts caution, however, that selflessness can turn into self-sabotage if left unchecked. What is Healthy Selfishness? Contrary to the common perception, healthy selfishness isn’t about neglecting your loved ones or abandoning responsibilities in a narcissistic pursuit. Rather, it’s about realizing that making yourself the priority forms the foundation for everything else in life to function smoothly. You can envision this concept as the difference between a vessel that is replenished and overflowing versus one that’s been drained of its essence. MORE LIKE THIS: When to End a Friendship and How to Do it With Kindness Self-Validation: How to Validate Yourself in 5 Steps I Feel Unheard: Why Does Nobody Listen To Me? Interestingly, psychology experts describe healthy selfishness and pathological altruism as the two paradoxical forms of selfishness, underlining that not all selfishness is necessarily bad, and not all altruism is essentially good. Practicing healthy selfishness, in fact, plays a key role in shaping our sense of self and helping us determine our preferences for people and activities we prefer to engage with (or step away from). “If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” Jack Kornfield, Buddhist teacher and author As Dr Scott Barry Kaufman, professor of psychology at Columbia University and host of The Psychology Podcast, suggests, “Loving people have love toward themselves, and it is precisely this affirmation of their own unique self, happiness, growth, and freedom that allows them to love others.” Why is making yourself a priority important? Indeed, it’s true that selflessness – through acts of kindness, radical empathy, and volunteering – can boost happiness. A comprehensive study by psychologists from four universities across Canada revealed that generosity can even improve resilience during challenging times. Put yourself first by setting healthy boundaries However, healthy selfishness isn’t about halting acts of kindness or withdrawing care from others. It simply means prioritizing your own well-being by extending the same kindness and care to yourself first so that you can be in a better position - physically, mentally, and emotionally – to help others. Prioritizing yourself in healthy ways ensures that you feel more fulfilled and happier overall, more present in your relationships, more productive at work, and more resilient during tough times. How to Put Yourself First: 6 Strategies Psychologist Ronald Stolberg describes healthy selfishness as taking charge of meeting your physical, mental, emotional, and social needs. Here are some practical ways I’ve learnt to put myself first without feeling guilty, and you should try them too. 1. Cultivate self-compassion Developing empathy and a kind relationship with yourself is one of the most crucial aspects of putting yourself first. Research even suggests that self-compassion is a strong indicator of overall wellbeing. Practicing self-compassion involves: Acknowledging the myriad emotions you experience, without rushing to fix them. Accepting that mistakes make us human. Speaking to yourself with the same kindness you’d show a loved one. Forgiving yourself for past mistakes. 2. Set and maintain healthy boundaries Establishing clear limits across different aspects of your life – and communicating the same to those around you – is essential for wellbeing. According to Lydia Hall, the eminent nursing theorist who developed Care, Cure, Core, it’s important to regard healthy boundaries as “fences, not walls” – that enable connection while “protecting your personal space.” Here’s what healthy boundaries can look like: Communicating your needs and preferences clearly with romantic partners, family, or friends. Conveying the need for maintaining individual interests and friendships to your romantic partner so that neither partner feels they’ve lost their identity in the relationship. At the workplace, defining your work hours and refraining from checking emails when not at work. Learning to delegate tasks, which a study of almost 11,000 leaders worldwide found to be a gamechanger for reducing stress and preventing burnout. Taking regular breaks from work and daily chores to indulge in activities that you enjoy. 3. Master the art of saying no While saying no can seem daunting, it’s an effective way to create boundaries to stop feeling overwhelmed and emotionally overloaded. Remember, disappointing someone temporarily by saying no is far healthier than burning yourself out trying to accommodate everyone else’s needs. “Self-love is an ocean, and your heart is a vessel. Make it full, and any excess will spill over into the lives of the people you hold dear. But you must come first.” Beau Taplin, Author The reality is that by making yourself a priority, each “no” now means saying “yes” to something you appreciate more. For instance, declining a social event or turning down a coffee invite from an energy vampire helps you create space for doing what you love instead. MORE LIKE THIS: 8 Essential Life Lessons From RuPaul Charles How to Find Happiness Within: 5 Ways to Build Inner Joy Tragic Optimism: An Antidote to Toxic Positivity 4. Make self-care a part of your daily routine There’s more to self-care than bubble teas, face masks, and spa days. It’s a vital part of putting yourself first without feeling guilty, given that a lack of self-care has been shown to cause burnout and compassion fatigue. Including self-care in your daily routine can look like: Including ten minutes of conscious breathing exercises or mindful meditation in your day. Taking care of your physical health through regular exercise, nutritious meals, and restful sleep of at least 7 hours. Sparing a few minutes for gratitude journaling to appreciate everything you have going for you. Stepping out for short strolls during a hectic workday. Setting aside time for hobbies like gardening, knitting, or anything else that sparks joy. Spending time with friends who uplift and energize you. Checking in with your mental health regularly and asking for help when needed. 5. Seek balance Indeed, acts of kindness and volunteering for causes you care about can boost happiness and make life more meaningful. However, helping others should never happen at the cost of your peace of mind, strain your closest relationships, or hinder your work. The key is to find balance – devise a win-win approach where your generosity results in positive experiences for everyone while leaving you fulfilled; not weighed down. All smiles: make yourself a priority 6. Invest in your future self Investing in your personal growth and goals is a fundamental aspect of healthy selfishness. While there's no magic recipe to ensure all your goals are achieved with ease, you can begin by setting so-called SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound). “You can't pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first.” Eleanor Brown, Author Indeed, goal setting isn’t the end of the story but an ongoing process. Review your progress periodically and revisit the ones you couldn’t focus on earlier. Don’t forget to celebrate small wins and any milestones along the way. Takeaway: How to Put Yourself First Shifting your perspective to healthy selfishness and self-prioritization is the first step toward putting yourself first. Know that looking after your interests should be instinctive, not a luxury. Remember, healthy selfishness is all about being self-focused, not “self-absorbed.” Putting yourself first doesn’t harm others or halt progress. Instead, it simply means that you’re pausing to recharge so you can bring your A-game to everything you do and be your best, authentic self. Find inspiration from our words and 'put yourself first' quotes and start prioritizing yourself! ● Images ShotPrime Studio, Nadia Snopek, Dima Berlin happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Self care | Empathy | Acceptance Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future-self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Huachuma, AKA Wachuma or San Pedro, is a mescaline-containing cactus used in healing. This sacred 'grandfather cactus' is a heart-opening medicine, typically consumed in tea form during ceremonies. Rhianna Quanstrom explores the history and benefits of Huachuma. Huachuma, also known as Wachuma or San Pedro, is a cactus native to South America best known for its psychedelic effects. The active constituent of Huachuma is mescaline, and it is a sacred, ceremonial plant, deeply honored by the people of South America. It has a rich cultural and spiritual history, with evidence of its use dating back thousands of years. In this guide, we’ll explore the powerful and transformative Huachuma cactus, including its use as a psychedelic, its history, traditional ceremonies, effects, and benefits. We’ll also discuss how it compares to other psychedelic plant medicines, such as Ayahuasca. What is Huachuma or San Pedro? Huachuma (Echinopsis pachanoi) AKA Wachuma grows in the high altitudes of the Andes Mountains, from Argentina to Peru. Despite its harsh growing conditions, it can reach up to 20 feet in height. It has beautiful blue-green spires and large white flowers that only bloom at night. Because of its nocturnal blooms, it attracts nighttime pollinators, including bats and large moths. Its intriguing columns that reach for the heavens and soft petals that unfold under the starry sky easily capture the hearts of those in its presence. While it is a favorite among desert gardeners for these reasons (and ease of cultivation), I believe it also symbolizes its potent medicine. Wachuma typically grows at high altitudes in the Andes The columns represents its masculine energy and the ability to link heaven with Earth, which is a common experience for many people who have taken Huachuma. Its nocturnal blooms symbolize the soft unfurling of our subconscious, making known that which is hidden from our sight. Among indigenous people and many herbalists, it’s believed that every plant is a teacher. However, there are some plants considered “master” plants or teachers. These are powerful psychoactive plants — such as Huachuma — and they are considered sacred, for they create a bridge between worlds, between the seen and unseen. As such, the San Pedro cactus has been highly revered for its healing and spiritual ceremonial use for thousands of years — and to this day. Those who journey with Huachuma lovingly refer to it as “grandfather cactus.” This is because its medicine feels ancient and wise; it is an elder with much to teach, but we must be willing to quiet down and listen to receive its lessons. The History of Huachuma Huachuma has been used by Andean cultures for healing and spiritual purposes for over 10,000 years. This makes it (along with Peyote) one of the most ancient psychoactives used by humans in documented history. A study in the Journal of Psychedelic Studies reports archaeological evidence that pollen from the San Pedro cactus was found in Cueva del Guitarrero, in Ancash, Peru, dating back to 8600 BC. The cave was inhabited continuously since that period, and traces of cactus pollen and plant fragments were detected in the oldest phase of human occupation. “Huachuma, AKA San Pedro, or Wachuma, is a cactus native to South America best known for its psychedelic effects. It is a sacred, ceremonial plant.” According to this same report, iconographic evidence shows that Huachuma was highly regarded by the ancient Chavín people. The Chavín people were Peru’s earliest developed civilization, and they built the famous temple complex, Chavín de Huántar. In this ancient site, there is an iconographic artifact named “San Pedro-bearing stele,” which dates back to 750 BC. This stele depicts a figure, perhaps a deity or shaman, with fangs and serpent hair holding the San Pedro cactus. Because this spiritual temple was used for ceremonies and rituals, it is believed that San Pedro was a significant element of the people’s religious practices. The San Pedro-bearing stele of Chavín de Huántar The Huachuma ceremony was (and continues to be) a significant tradition in Peru. During the Spanish invasion, Roman Catholic authorities tried to suppress the people’s spiritual ceremonies, including the use of Huachuma. This suppression led the people to continue their ceremonies in secret. It also led to the merging of their ancient practices with Catholic saints and rituals. As such, the name “San Pedro,” meaning Saint Peter, emerged for their beloved cactus. This is a fitting name, for Saint Peter is said to “hold the keys to heaven,” which is an apt description for the Huachuma experience. Despite the efforts of the Roman Catholic Church, Wuchuma ceremonies continued under the radar. This kept the tradition alive, and this ancient, sacred practice has now spread to Ecuador, northern Chile, and Bolivia. Effects and Benefits of Huachuma Huachuma cactus is a potent psychedelic that can take you on a profound awakening and healing journey. It is considered a heart-opening medicine, as it softens the heart and opens up the channels of love and heart-centered perception. This can alter one’s perception of reality, as one starts to “see” through the lens of the heart rather than the mind or ego. RELATED: What is Ego Death? Meaning, Symptoms, and Causes Grandfather cactus is said to sharpen and heighten the senses. This can strengthen one’s awareness of their surroundings, tuning them into the frequency of their body and surroundings. As such, Huachuma participants claim that it strengthens and awakens their connection to nature. Flower of the Wuchuma According to the Pruvian shamanic retreat center SpiritQuest, “Huachuma is a potentiator plant, much like Ayahuasca. Huachuma potentiates the energy of the person taking it, and gives you a heightened sense of the energetic connection with whatever energies in your setting that are present.” As with other master plant teachers, the Huachuma cactus will present you with what you are meant to face. This often includes challenges and revelations about past wounds that are affecting who you are today. This medicine gives you the opportunity to move through those challenges with heightened awareness. This can lead to profound healing, insights, and growth. Because Huachuma cactus contains hallucinogens, it can cause inward and outward visions or hallucinations. It may take you on an inward journey full of revelations and transformative insights about your true essence, the Earth, and your purpose. MORE LIKE THIS: Microdosing 101: A Modern Phenomenon Rooted in Ancient Times 5 Techniques to Unblock Chakras and Energy Flows Ceremonial Cacao: 4 Key Benefits, the Process and History As Don Howard, founder of SpiritQuest, states in a Huachuma documentary: “The plant is the medium, it isn’t the message.” Meaning, it is only a messenger; it simply opens the doorways for the Divine truth that already exists within. As with other psychedelics, it helps “lift the veil” of our perception to peer into another reality that already exists — one we just can’t normally access. Considering all this, Huachuma is a plant medicine for those who are seeking healing and a deeper connection to nature and the Divine. It is for those who wish to elevate their consciousness, open their heart, release old wounds, and gain wisdom for their highest path forward. Potential Side Effects of Huachuma While there is little information about the potential side effects of the San Pedro cactus, there are known risks associated with its active constituent, mescaline. These include: Nausea Vomiting Dizziness Excessive sweating High blood pressure Increased heart rate Trembling or shivering Headaches Chills Fever Muscle weakness Tension That said, these side effects may not reflect how the whole plant interacts with the body, since these are associated with the isolated compound, mescaline. Hopefully, further research on whole-plant San Pedro cactus extracts will shed more light on its potential risks. Nevertheless, if Huachuma is calling to you, it’s important to only ingest it in a ceremonial container with a trained facilitator. Seek out a quality retreat center and reach out about the potential side effects of Huachuma if you’re interested in trying it. Furthermore, speak to your regular doctor if you’re on medication, have a history of heart problems, or are diagnosed with a mental health disorder, before consuming Huachuma. The Huachuma Ceremony Traditional Huachuma ceremonies begin in the morning or during the day (although some start at night). It is considered a “solar” medicine, so the energy of the plant is supported under the rays of the sun. Ceremonies are led by shamans or trained facilitators who bless the San Pedro cactus tea. Participants may drink one by one as the shaman blesses them with sacred tobacco smoke. Tobacco may also be ingested to support the experience. “Those who journey with Huachuma refer to it as “grandfather cactus.” This is because its medicine feels ancient and wise; it is an elder with much to teach.” It takes about 30 to 90 minutes for the San Pedro cactus tea to take effect, and the experience can last for 8-12 hours, depending on the dose. The Huachuma ceremony typically transitions outside to the forest or nearby landscape, where participants can be in nature. It is said that the grandfather cactus is a “walking” medicine, meaning that walking, being in nature, and being present in the body supports the journey. RELATED: Exploring Shamanic Healing: What to Expect Huachuma ceremonies can also involve group activities, such as singing, dancing, or chanting. There are usually instruments involved, such as drums, rattles, or flutes. Huachuma vs Ayahuasca While complementary, Huachuma and Ayahuasca offer different psychedelic experiences. Huachuma is linked to masculine energy and the upper chakras, while Ayahuasca is associated with feminine energy and the lower chakras. As such, Ayahuasca is commonly referred to as “grandmother.” While Huachuma invites your senses to awaken “outward” to what’s around you, Ayahuasca directs you more inward, to your psyche and subconscious. That said, both medicines can weave in and out of inward and outward experiences. Huachuma is usually consumed as a tea, as part of a ritual Huachuma generally invites participants to keep their eyes open to their surroundings, while Ayahuasca will take you deep into an inward journey, where you may not be aware of your environment at all. Even though they can be quite different, both medicines are powerful, deeply transformative, and last for several hours. Both of their unique energies support healing and spiritual awakening — whether through the solar, masculine energy of Wuchuma, or the lunar, feminine energy of Ayahuasca. Is Huachuma safe? While there is little scientific evidence pointing to the safety and potential risks of the Huachuma cactus, it has been safely used by humans for thousands of years. To ensure it is used correctly, Huachuma should only be ingested in a sacred and ceremonial container under the guidance of a shaman or trained facilitator. Is Huachuma legal? It is illegal to ingest Huachuma in the United States because it contains the active compound mescaline. Mescaline is classified as a Schedule I drug according to the DEA. However, it is legal to cultivate and grow the cactus as an ornamental plant. It just can’t be harvested for consumption. It is legal to consume Huachuma in the region where it natively grows and is traditionally used, including Peru, Bolivia, and Ecuador. Takeaway: Wachuma AKA San Pedro Huachuma, Wachuma, or the San Pedro cactus, is an ancient medicine kept alive by the spiritual traditions of the people of the Andean mountains. It has stood the test of time, lasting through colonialism and religious suppression. And now, its thousand-year-old healing potential has woven its way into modern culture. People from around the globe journey to the Andes to consume Wuchuma in a traditional and sacred container, where they can receive its wisdom and gifts. As a potent master plant, it should be approached with intention and respect. Huachuma is a medicine that requires ceremony and a seasoned facilitator who can guide you through the winding turns of a psychedelic experience. It can open your heart, elevate your mind, and remind you of your deep connection to Earth. ● Images: tita s, Marcelo Rodríguez Escudero, CC BY-SA 4.0 via Wikimedia Commons, tita s, Jozef Klopacka happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Herbalism | CBD | Alternative medicine | Energy healing Written by Rhianna Quanstrom Rhianna Quanstrom is a freelance writer, herbalist, and spiritual seeker with a passion for nature-based healing and sacred wisdom. Her writing draws from years of experience with meditation, shamanic practices, plant medicine, dream work, and the reclamation of the Sacred Feminine. Discover more of her writing and poetry on her Mystic Love Substack.

Fans of microdosing claim it offers a host of benefits, from enhanced creativity to reduced depression. But what does current research say, and is it safe to microdose? Once a relatively unknown practice, microdosing has gone mainstream. Microdosing is the practice of taking tiny, ‘sub-perceptual’ amounts (generally about 1/10th to 1/20th of a typical dose) of a drug – usually, but not always – a psychedelic. The substances typically taken are LSD or psilocybin mushrooms. The aim of microdosing is not to attain a mind-bending ‘trip’, but rather to stimulate productivity, creativity, mood, and potentially, spiritual awareness. More recently, the drugs used in microdosing has broadened to include other psychedelic or psychoactive substances, such as mescaline (found in select species of cacti such as peyote), ketamine, MDMA, the African indigenous plant- based iboga, and other compounds. People also microdose with cannabis to alleviate pain without inducing a high, with some scientific studies backing up the benefits. For example, Cuttler et al. (2022) found modest doses of THC (the main psychoactive compound in cannabis) helped in stress reduction. How Do People Microdose? Microdoses are typically taken on a consistent schedule multiple times a week. Some fans of the practice cycle on and off, microdosing for a month or two in a row, then taking a break. In reality, microdosing is more complicated than it sounds. The majority of substances are illegal and there isn’t a huge amount of high-quality scientific evidence on the topic (we'll come to that later). What's more, all humans react to these substances differently. Psilocybin mushrooms Why Do People Microdose? Proponents of microdosing claim that it helps improve focus and boost energy levels. Other people report improvements to their overall well-being. Some have claimed it also helps with medical concerns, including: depression anxiety chronic pain menstrual pain substance use disorders History of Microdosing While it may seem a recent invention, microdosing has deep roots in ancient times. Centuries-old indigenous traditions, particularly in Central and South America, have long validated the use of natural substances like psilocybin mushrooms and peyote for ritualistic and medicinal purposes. RELATED: Exploring Shamanic Healing: What to Expect Ceremonial Cacao: 4 Key Benefits, the Process, and History What is Huachuma, the San Pedro Cactus? However, the modern term 'microdosing' and its emergent popularity can be traced back to psychedelic pioneer Dr. James Fadiman. His book, The Psychedelic Explorer's Guide, published in 2011, ignited the trend, indicating a unique method of consuming psychedelics to boost a person's daily functioning. The Popularity of Microdosing Indeed, microdosing represents a shift in cultural attitudes towards psychedelics. Long stigmatised as part of the 'hippie' counterculture and driven into the shadows by prohibitionist policies, psychedelics are now stepping into the light of mainstream acceptability, thanks in part to microdosing. Tech workers in Silicon Valley, home to Google and Facebook, are known to microdose in order to remain innovative and competitive. In fact, proponents of microdosing include Apple co-founder Steve Jobs, who openly admitted to LSD's positive influence in his life. The Scientific Evidence Behind Microdosing The narrative praising microdosing's benefits is abundant in pop culture and anecdotal records; however, substantiating scientific evidence remains confined due to ongoing legal restrictions relating to psychedelic substances. Investigations are underway, and some interesting observations have been made. “Microdosing merges the ancient and the modern, promising an array of benefits from enhanced creativity to improved emotional well-being.” For instance, Prochazkova and colleagues (2018) reported improved creative problem-solving abilities after microdosing with psychedelic truffles. Anderson et al. (2019) noted decreases in depressive symptoms and dysfunctional attitudes among participants who microdosed LSD and psilocybin. Research has also suggested a bi-directional relationship between psychedelics and nature connectedness – the feeling of connection and oneness with the natural world. A study by Lyons and Carhart-Harris (2018) indicated potential long-term increases in nature-relatedness following psychedelic use. Microdosing involves taking carefully-measured drug amounts Other studies like Polito and Stevenson (2019) noted an immediate and sustained decrease in depression and stress scores following microdosing. Hutten et al., (2019) observed improvements in various psychological functioning aspects, including mood and focus. Shortcomings of Microdosing Research Yet, even these studies have their limitations, mainly revolving around self-reporting, absence of control groups, and potential placebo effects. Ly et al. (2018) conducted a double-blind, placebo-controlled study and reported a mild increase in psychological well-being. However, the scientists noted that this could be attributed to a placebo effect, highlighting the critical need for further, more extensive research. Microdosing 101: Is it Safe? While microdosing – if done correctly – appears to be relatively safe, it does carry risks. This is mainly due to the illegal status of many psychedelic substances in the West. Without formal regulation, it’s imppssible to know exactly what you’re microdosing or its actual potency. For example, in June 2024 the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) warned about a product line containing a blend of mushrooms intended for microdosing. At least 12 people became severely ill after using it, with 10 being hospitalized. Symptoms ranged from nausea and vomiting through to seizures and loss of consciousness. Furthermore, psychedelics affect people differently. While microdosing is supposed to bypass extreme effects of psychedelics such as hallucinations, some people may still have unwanted experiences. It can also be tricky to measure out small doses. If you accidentally take more of a psychedelic substance than planned, more serious side effects can occur, including: anxiety agitation paranoia increased/decreased heart rate While these aren’t life threatening, they can be concerning for people that have underlying mental health or heart conditions. What is Psychedelic Therapy? While the evidence supporting the effectiveness of microdosing is limited, a 2022 study from the University of Maryland Medical Center, Baltimore, showed psychedelic-assisted therapy could offer promise for some mental health conditions, including depression and PTSD. Psychedelic therapy is a relatively new therapeutic approach and involves using psychedelic substances in larger doses while under the supervision of a medical professional, often in combination with psychotherapy in so-called psychedelic integration. “While microdosing – if done correctly – appears to be relatively safe, it does carry risks. This is mainly due to the illegal status of many psychedelic substances in the West.” Within the United States, some states have loosened restrictions on certain psychedelics, and othes are considering it. Presently, ketamine-assisted therapy is the most widely available psychedelic therapy available. The Takeaway: Microdosing 101 While the scientific community grapples with trying to discern the veracity of claims surrounding microdosing, other spheres of society are enthusiastically embracing it. However, it's essential to remember that while some countries have decriminalized or legalized the use of certain psychedelic substances, in many parts of the world these substances remain illegal. In conclusion, microdosing is a cultural and scientific phenomenon that merges the ancient and the modern, promising an array of benefits from enhanced creativity to improved emotional well-being. As society continues to evolve and our understanding of the human brain advances, it will be fascinating to observe how attitudes towards microdosing and psychedelics at large will shift, and what place they might hold in our lives in the future. Nevertheless, for those interested in exploring this frontier, it's crucial to understand both the legal and health implications involved. Microdosing paints a promising and contentious picture, highlighting the enduring human quest for cognitive enhancement, psychological wellness, and creative expansion. However, until thorough scientific research establishes its benefits and potential risks unequivocally, the jury is still out on whether microdosing has real potential. ● Images: Room27, Cannabis_Pic happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Self care | Retreats | Herbalism | Ayahuasca

From meditation to yoga to conscious breathing, discover 5 ways to balance chakras, unblock bodily energy flows, realigning body and mind. By Rachel Markowitz. A few years ago, while working at a yoga retreat center, a guest approached me with concern. An energy healer had told her that her sacral chakra was the size of a peanut, and she felt helpless and upset. Whether the healer truly believed this or not, the incident sticks with me as an example of how chakra-based healing can be confusing, vague, or distorted. This woman’s “healing” session gave her the sense that something was wrong. However, chakra blockages and imbalances are common and often easy to remedy. Signals from the chakras serve as a gateway to understanding our health from a holistic perspective. Thus, by exploring chakra balancing (or realignment) and how to unblock chakras, we can take control of our own healing. What Are the 7 Chakras? Before we discuss specific balancing techniques, it's important to understand the basics of the major chakras and their qualities. Chakras are centers of life-force energy located in the subtle (energetic) body. They are not visible or measurable in the physical world. Although different philosophies use various theories to classify and explain these energetic vortexes, most teachings today focus on seven main chakras. These energy centers ascend from the base of the spine to slightly above the crown of the head along our main energetic channel, Sushumna Nadi. Learn how to unblock chakras and balance bodily energy flow Each of the major chakras controls the flow of life-force energy (or prana) to specific aspects of our physical, mental, and energetic constitution. Accordingly, balancing the chakra system is believed to create an energetic environment conducive to a healthy, peaceful, joyful life. What is Chakra Alignment? Chakra alignment refers to a state of balance where each of the main centers is an open, spinning disk of energy serving its purpose to absorb and distribute prana. When our chakras are aligned, each is functioning optimally, and energy can flow without blockages. MORE LIKE THIS: Balancing the 5 Pillars of Life for Lasting Well-Being Understanding the Different Types of Karma Exploring the 4 Main Branches of Buddhism In an energetic body with blockages, chakras can end up overactive or deficient. In this case, various practices and methods can assist with overall chakra realignment. Furthermore, if a specific energy center is blocked with stagnant energy, these same methods can be used to heal energy centers individually. How to Unblock and Realign Chakras: 5 Techniques Methods for balancing chakras include traditional practices, self-care routines, and professional healing modalities. Even without specific health issues, these techniques promote well-being by harmonizing energy movement throughout the body. 1. Chakra Meditation Each chakra is associated with a specific location, color, symbol, mantra, sound frequency, and musical note, as follows: Root (Muladhara) – Base of the spine; Red; Lotus flower with 4 petals; Lam; 396 Hz; C Sacral (Swadhistana) – Below the navel; Orange; Lotus flower with 6 petals; Vam; 417 Hz; D Solar Plexus (Manipura) – Core, above the navel; Yellow; Lotus flower with 10 petals, Ram; 528 Hz; E Heart (Anahata) – Center of the chest at heart level; Green; Lotus flower with 12 petals, Yam; 639 Hz; F Throat (Vishuddha) – Throat; Blue; Lotus flower with 16 petals; Ham; 741 Hz; G Third Eye (Ajna) – Center of the brain, between the eyebrows; Indigo; Lotus flower with 2 petals; Om; 852 Hz; A Crown (Sahasrara) – Slightly above the crown of the head; Violet or White; Lotus flower with 1,000 petals; Aum or silence; 963 Hz; B To focus on unblocking or strengthening an individual chakra as part of a meditation practice, we can visualize its symbol, chant its mantra (or its Sanskrit name) silently or aloud, imagine clear light (or a light of its color) radiating throughout your body, or use tuning forks, singing bowls, or digital sound frequencies corresponding to that chakra. “Balancing the chakra system is believed to create an energetic environment conducive to a healthy, peaceful, joyful life.” For overall chakra balancing and realignment, visualize each chakra as a clear white light (or a light of its color) radiating throughout the body. Work your way up from the root to the crown, and end with a visualization of your spine as a column of pure, bright light. 2. Yoga Asana Although typically associated with the physical body, the practice of yoga asana (postures) was originally developed to balance, strengthen, and cleanse the energetic body as preparation for meditation. Essentially, by forming intentional shapes with the body, we can manipulate pranic flow to harness and redirect energy. Carry gemstones which align with the chakra that needs realignment A quick online search will provide asana classes targeted towards aligning the chakras. However, if you are experienced with basic yoga positions, you can practice on your own by following or adapting the following sequence, holding each posture for about a minute with long, deep breathing. Yoga Practices For Chakra Balancing Standing Postures Mountain Pose (Root) Goddess Pose (Sacral) Sitting Postures Boat Pose (Manipura) Camel Pose (Heart) Reclined Postures Plow Pose or Shoulderstand (Throat) Resting postures Child’s Pose (Third Eye) Savasana (Crown) 3. Pranayama Conscious breathing practices, called pranayama in yoga, also work to balance and cleanse the subtle body. Two simple pranayama techniques that can assist with overall balancing of the chakras are Spinal Breathing and Nadi Shodana. You can practice each for a few minutes, as often as feels right. Spinal Breathing Inhale slowly, imagining your breath, or life-force energy, rising from the base of your spine to the crown of your head. Exhale completely, visualizing this energy as it returns from the crown of your head to the base of your spine. Keep your inhalations and exhalations of equal length and intensity if possible. Nadi Shodana (alternate nostril breath) Inhale slowly through your left nostril, using your right thumb to block your right nostril. Pause for a moment and naturally exhale through your right nostril, using your right ring finger to block your left nostril. Continue by inhaling through your right nostril and exhaling through the left to complete a full round. Repeat for several rounds of equal-length breaths to purify nadis (energetic channels). .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } XX How to practise Nadi Shodana for chakra and energy balancing 4. Intuitive Experimentation Along with the qualities of each chakra mentioned above, fragrances, herbs, foods, and objects that correspond with a chakra’s color can also realign or unblock chakras. With a basic knowledge of these associations, we can integrate practical chakra healing into daily life. MORE LIKE THIS: Exploring Shamanic Healing: What to Expect How Can Dream Analysis Therapy Benefit Mental Health Psychedelic Integration: Honoring the Journey Beyond the Experience Since most of us aren’t attuned to visualizing or feeling energy, the best way to identify chakra imbalances or blockages is to look at the consistent or recurring aspects of our health that we would like to improve. For example, let’s say you experience feeling ungrounded, frequently stub your toes, and struggle with feeling at home in your body – symptoms indicative of an underactive or blocked root chakra. A healing plan for you might include walking barefoot in nature, eating root vegetables, using sandalwood or cedarwood incense or oils, meditating with a chunk of obsidian, or placing a small piece of garnet in your pocket. “In an energetic body with blockages, chakras can end up overactive or deficient. Various practices can assist with chakra realignment.” Essentially, the body’s wisdom combined with the mind’s creativity can provide limitless opportunities for self-awareness, healing, and growth. 5. Professional Chakra Healing Although we recommend using discernment when choosing healers, professional healers who truly see and understand the subtle body can identify energetic blockages, balance chakras, and give advice on realigning them in the future. RELATED: Tummo Breathing a Meditation: A Guide Kundalini Meditation: 4 Key Benefits and How to Practise It Yoga For Happiness: Compassion Yoga A gifted healer will be able to read your energy and may even be able to suggest how to best balance chakras through intuitive or visionary gifts. Professional chakra healing practices often consist of energy work (such as Reiki), but could also include massage, guided meditations, aromatherapy, or sound-based healing. Takeaway: Balancing Chakras Everything in life is a manifestation of energy, and the chakras serve to balance and direct our unique energetic flow. When we attune to our inner environment, we begin to understand how the health of each chakra plays a role in our personal strengths and weaknesses. Therefore, by learning how to unblock and balance chakras through practices and therapies, we become aware of how to heal integral aspects of our physical health, mental tendencies, and spiritual journey. Images: ArtNebula86, vetre happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum Herbalism | Healing crystals | Reflexology | Acupuncture Written by Rachel Markowitz Rachel recently found herself over a decade deep in a worldwide wander guided by what she feels to be true. She’s been facilitating classes and workshops on yoga, meditation, self-exploration, and alternative ways of living since 2012, mostly in Latin America and Asia. These days, she spends most of her time looking at, walking around, or singing to a sacred mountain in southern India. Read more of her words at her to those who wonder blog.

Many of us have been touched by suicide and the loss of a loved one, family member or friend. Ahead of World Suicide Prevention Day (September 10), Calvin Holbrook has put together these eight powerful suicide prevention quotes to offer hope to anyone in need. It’s estimated that around 15 per cent of the adult population will experience depression at one point or another throughout life. And, accordingly to the World Health Organization, that means there are currently over 300 million people in the world currently living with depression. Whatever the cause, for some of these people, the emotional pain will become too much and they will consider suicide as an option of escape. In fact, around 800,000 people go through with suicide every year, and for each of those, there are around 25 times more suicide attempts. There are many factors alongside and including depression and mental illness that influence a person’s decision to go through with suicide: chronic ill health, guilt, trauma, substance abuse or loss, for example. The tragic thing is that many of those who consider suicide don’t really want to die; they just don’t know how to deal with the pain they’re experiencing. • JOIN US! In need of support? Sign-up free and join a community that cares • If you’ve ever been suicidal or know someone that has, you’ll know that without help, escaping that feeling of wanting to end it all is difficult. If you’re having difficulty opening up to others about your problems, sometimes searching for inspirational words online can offer some psychological comfort and help to get you through the day. We've put together these suicide prevention quotes to give anyone who is considering ending their life a chance to stop, reflect and reevaluate their situation. Inspirational quotes can’t take the pain away, but they may allow someone the chance to shift their perspective just enough to give them a little bit of hope and get through another day. Please feel free to share these powerful messages of hope. Suicide prevention quotes: 8 powerful sayings 1. “Soak up the views. Take in the bad weather and the good weather. You are not the storm.” Matt Haig Author Matt Haig – who lives with depression and has written widely on it – cleverly compares the ever-changing weather to our mental health. Haig himself came close to suicide aged 24 while living in Ibiza, so this suicide prevention quote is particularly poignant. What Haig is saying is that although depression comes and goes, it is not who we are and should not define us. In his best-selling book, Reasons to Stay Alive, he writes: “Understand, for instance, that having a sad thought, even having a continual succession of sad thoughts, is not the same as being a sad person.” His inspirational quote suggests that we should be mindful of our depressive thoughts and recognize that they can – and will – pass. 2. Suicide doesn’t end the chances of life getting worse, it eliminates the possibility of it ever getting any better. – Unknown Those who are deeply depressed and considering suicide usually have difficulty realizing that their life can get better. The aforementioned author Matt Haig is a great example: he was about to kill himself, but now has a successful career and a loving family. If you choose suicide, then you're eliminating future hope and the possibility of finding happiness and enjoyment. When the mind is so dark, it can be hard to see any possibility for future happiness, but it can – and often does – get better. Whether it’s through taking medication, counselling, exercise, eating well, getting into a routine, or setting goals, these steps will help you on your path. Know that it is possible to recover from feelings of depression, pain, and suicidal thoughts. 3. “Never, never, never give up.” Winston Churchill Some people with depression may have been fighting against the illness and/or suicidal tendencies for many months or years. Many of these people don’t actually want to stop living, but they cannot see a way through their despair. Indeed, the act of suicide is often associated with giving up on life. • CONNECT WITH OTHERS Sign-up to happiness.com to openly discuss and prevent suicide • This quote from the British Prime Minister – known for his strong resilience – is a signal to keep fighting. If you have depression and/or suicidal thoughts, you may be in so much pain that you don’t know how you’re going to survive, but if you can just push through each day, it gives hope that things can get better in the future. One day a time, or even one hour at a time. By never giving up you’re quietly building an inner strength and resilience that will fortify you. 4. “If you’re looking for a sign not to kill yourself, this is it.” – Unknown If you’re thinking about suicide and looking for a sign to stay alive, consider this quote your sign. Whether you realize it or not, you have the opportunity to make a positive difference in this world. Somebody out there can benefit from your unique talents and gifts. Sometimes all you may need to keep going is a simple sign letting you know that someone cares and wants you to keep living. This quote is your sign. 5. “The person who completes suicide, dies once. Those left behind die a thousand deaths, trying to relive those terrible moments and understand… why?” – Clark Sometimes people who commit suicide are not fully aware – or are in such a dark place – that they don’t consider that taking their own life will create a huge amount of pain for their loved-ones left behind. Imagine how you would feel if a person you care deeply about took their own life. It's difficult to recover from the death of a loved one, but it’s usually harder if the individual committed suicide. The act of suicide leaves people behind with unanswered questions and feelings of confusion and shame, as well as the guilt around being able to prevent the suicide. RELATED: How to Be Your Own Best Friend: 8 Ideas This suicide prevention quote is realistic because although a suicide may end an individual’s internal pain, the friends and family who loved the person will continue to suffer as a result of their loss. In fact, on average, every suicide leaves an estimated six or more "suicide survivors" — those who've lost someone they care about deeply and are left to struggle with their grief. Furthermore, people who've recently lost someone through suicide are themselves at an increased risk of thinking about, planning, or attempting suicide, further exacerbating the ripple effect of pain and suffering. 6. “If you want to show me that you really love me, don’t say that you would die for me, instead stay alive for me.” – Unknown This suicide prevention quote shows deep sentiment from a friend, family member or a partner in a close relationship. People who are feeling suicidal can often feel like they are a burden to their loved ones, which is not the case. This quote serves as a personal reminder from your loved ones that they would much prefer you to stay in their lives than to leave. If you really want to sacrifice your life, do it by living and contributing to make someone’s else’s life better – rather than eliminating your existence. “Inspirational quotes around suicide prevention can’t take the pain away, but they may allow you to shift your perspective just enough to give yourself a little bit of hope and to get through another day.” 7. “Place your hand over your heart, can you feel it? That is called purpose. You’re alive for a reason so don’t ever give up.” – Unknown Sometimes suicidal people want to die simply because they believe they have no reason to continue living. It may sound simple, but the fact that you’re alive and your heart is still beating and pumping blood around your body can be reason enough to keep living. Many depressed people are struggling because they're unhappy with life and work and cannot find a specific life purpose. But, in reality, you don’t need a purpose or reason for being alive. However, if you are alive, you still have the opportunity to do whatever you want in life. Although you may not have awakened to a specific life mission yet, while your heart is still beating you have time to explore what your life purpose could be and find happiness. 8. “When you feel like giving up, just remember the reason why you held on for so long.” – Unknown This is a powerful suicide prevention quote that challenges a person considering ending their life to stop and reconsider the reasons why they’ve continued to stay strong and fight up until now. Most people have powerful reasons – such as their children, family and loved ones – for fighting through their pain and anguish. This quote helps you to think about the parts of your life that hold significant meaning for you and that force you to push through the day and keep going – even when you don’t feel like it. So, whether you want to keep fighting to provide for your family, to be there for your partner or to find your purpose in the the world and make a difference, chances are you do have a reason to keep living. • Main image: shutterstock/Jannarong If you're in a dark place and considering suicide, please reach out to someone you know or through one of these global helplines. You can also discuss suicide, depression, anxiety and other challenges over in our forum on suicidal thoughts. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Anxiety | Loneliness | Abuse | Male loneliness Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness magazine, makes artwork and loves swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! Find out more.

True happiness comes from within, but it takes work. The good thing is, all of us can learn how to develop it. From cultivating resilience to showing gratitude, Sonia Vadlamani explores five science-backed techniques that build lasting inner happiness and joy. For the longest time, I believed happiness to be something that came from outside – like getting a promotion at work, traveling to a dream destination with my partner, or purchasing something from my wishlist. And yes, indeed, these events do make me happy. But in reality I find I’m actually much happier on the days I have some quality “me time” to enjoy all my favourite leisure activities and connect with the people I love. This observation, coupled with research on happiness, helped me understand the simple and profound truth: happiness comes from within – happiness is an inside job. This holds true for most of us: while external events can definitely make us joyful, we also have inherent values and needs that we derive happiness from just the same. The best part? We don’t need to wait for external outcomes to feel content; we just need to learn how to tap into these sources of lasting happiness. Indeed, happiness is a choice, and science shows that true happiness comes from within, consistently and reliably, when we take small, intentional steps to achieve it, every single day. What does it mean to find happiness within? When we talk about finding inner happiness, we refer to what researchers in positive psychology call “internal happiness”, or a steady sense of well-being and contentment that stems from within and doesn’t rely on external circumstances. Unlike the fleeting happiness that we experience from external events like winning some money on the lottery or attending a concert, intrinsic happiness isn’t temporary, but rather a stable foundation for contentment and peace of mind. Where does happiness come from? Start the search within... In contrast, external happiness relies heavily on outside events, possessions and achievements. While these are undeniably necessary for life satisfaction, they only tend to boost our mood and improve happiness levels temporarily. In fact, a study of Stanford student-athletes living under immense pressure revealed that intrinsic factors like mindfulness, self-restraint, and self-esteem were stronger predictors of happiness than external factors such as playing time and scholarships. MORE LIKE THIS: How to Find Happiness: 11 Science-Backed Tips What is Happiness Exactly, Anyway? Discover the 10 Keys to Happier Living Another study by researchers Christopher P Niemiec et al. suggests that while the quest for external happiness alone can adversely impact well-being, focusing on intrinsic happiness benefits one’s psychological health, emphasizing the need for balance between external and internal forms of happiness. “Developing mindful awareness is key to finding happiness within yourself, as savoring the 'now' requires us to pay attention to events unfolding around you.” These findings highlight the need to develop traits that can help us find true happiness from within, enabling us to navigate life’s uncertainties better and build resilience. It’s also important to know that happiness can’t always stem entirely from within, especially for someone with a mental health condition like depression or anxiety, who may need to seek professional help for managing their condition and finding relief. How to Find Happiness Within Yourself The quest for finding happiness within yourself doesn’t mean ignoring external events and life milestones, but rather developing skills and practices that help maintain a sense of peace and inner contentment even through challenging times. So, here are five science-backed ways to help you learn how to find happiness within yourself. Incorporate them into your life one at a time to help build long-lasting joy and contentment. 1. Learn to live fully in the present A Harvard study that tracked the thoughts and moods of 2,250 participants found that humans spend nearly 47% of their waking hours thinking about something other than what they’re doing, and that this impacts happiness. Published in Science, this research corroborated a profound truth: the human capacity to capture joy depends largely on being present in the moment. Indeed, research suggests that ruminating over the past or worrying about the future can fuel negativity and reduce life satisfaction. On the other hand, immersing ourselves fully in the present – wholly engaging with the task at hand – regulates our nervous system and enables a flow state characterized by complete absorption. This can further help instill a sense of control, putting a stop to repetitive thoughts. Develop mindful awareness (and increased happiness) through breathwork Indeed, developing mindful awareness is key to building inner happiness, as savouring the “now” requires us to pay attention to the events unfolding around you. Simple mindfulness practices that can help improve your mood and elevate inner happiness levels include: focusing on your breathing. tuning into what you see, hear and feel at the moment, like eating, walking and doing daily chores. gently bringing your attention back to the present moment when it wanders (it will). setting time aside for mindfulness meditation. 2. Practice radical acceptance If being mindful pertains to developing awareness, acceptance is how we process and respond to this awareness, especially when faced with failure, loss or imperfections. Indeed, a comprehensive review of six correlated studies by researchers Daniel T Cordaro et al. suggests that inner contentment is a distinct positive emotion that is central to overall well-being and happiness. Embracing life as it is, therefore, is a crucial requirement for how happiness comes from within. This endeavor requires us to be aware of and accept the various emotions, imperfections, fears, and desires that make us all essentially human. MORE LIKE THIS: Happiness is a State of Mind: 8 Ways to Develop It Is Happiness Genetic? Here's What Science Says How Can Happiness Be Measured? Radical acceptance relies on practicing self-compassion, which means treating yourself with the same kindness you would show a good friend during a difficult time. It also involves understanding that errors and failure are a part of being human, not personal flaws. Here are some ways to practice radical awareness and self-compassion: Be kind to yourself. Evaluate your feelings with a gentle approach, not harsh self-judgment. When you notice a mistake or flaw, approach the emotions with kind observance and speak to yourself with genuine warmth. Remember that you’re not alone in your struggles – everyone faces challenge in their lives. Learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes and limitations. 3. Cultivate inner resilience Resilience, or the capacity to recover from difficult situations and adapt to life's challenges, is a key predictor for finding happiness within yourself. In fact, a study by researchers Steven M. Southwick et al. revealed that resilient individuals don’t encounter fewer challenges in life; they simply react to them differently. Therefore, your ability to adapt to adversities and overcome challenges can be the answer to how to find inner happiness and well-being. The first step toward developing resilience is reframing your perspective about life’s uncertainties and embracing the unknown. Resilient people look at difficulties as opportunities to learn, not threats to their happiness, and are adept at ‘lemonading’ – making the best of the situation at hand. “Individuals who understand that true happiness comes from within are also more resilient and more capable of bouncing back from life’s trials.” Adopting a growth mindset is another crucial aspect of resilience. Challenge yourself by stepping out of your comfort zone and attempting something that feels uncomfortable. Also, remember to celebrate small wins by tuning your mind to recognize and enjoy the smallest efforts and progress, instead of waiting to celebrate loftier milestones. 4. Develop a gratitude routine There’s more to gratitude than just saying thanks – emerging research suggests it’s a powerful practice that can help rewire our brains to weed out toxic emotions and significantly improve our happiness levels. How to find happiness from within? Keep a gratitude journal A study at University of California, Berkeley, involving 300 participants seeking mental health counseling revealed that the mental health benefits of gratitude practice can be experienced even when it's not communicated to others. While the benefits of gratitude – like improved inner happiness, reduced mental stress, and an optimistic outlook – take time to emerge, they create a positive snowball effect with consistent practice. To cultivate an attitude of gratitude, try these things daily: Write down three things you’re grateful for in your gratitude journal. Express gratitude to people you’re thankful for having in your life. Acknowledge moments of kindness and beauty throughout the day. Set time aside to practice gratitude meditation to truly appreciate all the things you’re thankful for. 5. Nurture meaningful connections While true happiness comes from within, we’re essentially social beings, and having close relationships is a fundamental need for a long, healthy life. Spending time with those you care for helps release happiness hormones, namely serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin. These are also released when you exercise, so in a way, spending quality time with your loved ones is almost as beneficial as getting a workout. To strengthen your relationships: Practice mindful listening and empathy. Really hear others out without judgment or bias. Trust your close friends and family enough to share your authentic self, and avoid the vulnerability hangover trap. Show up consistently, whether to celebrate their wins or be a shoulder to lean on during tough times. Connect over activities you collectively enjoy, like hiking, volunteering or joining a book club. Where does happiness come from? Friends are a key source Inner Happiness: Clear Health Benefits The happiness derived from savoring life’s small joys is also associated with several other positive outcomes considered the “hallmarks of a happy person”, such as long-lasting relationships, more successful careers, and better health. Individuals who understand that true happiness comes from within are also more capable of bouncing back from life’s trials and uncertainties with better stress-management and decision-making abilities. In essence, the ability to tap into inner happiness helps us experience more positive emotions and achieve more favorable outcomes in terms of success and improved life satisfaction. Takeaway: Happiness Comes From Within Happiness is a journey, and while the path to inner happiness isn’t easy, it is accessible to everyone. As demonstrated by the ample research above, everyone has the ingredients necessary to cultivate lasting joy within ourselves – the practices discussed here simply help you uncover and nurture the happiness that already exists within you. Indeed, in a world that constantly tells us happiness is bound to result from the next purchase or milestone, finding happiness within yourself is a practical and responsible step towards ensuring your well-being. ● Images: feodorina, Peopleimages.com - Yuri A, Oksana Klymenko, Jacob Lund happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Self care | Empathy | Letting go | Acceptance Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future-self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Are chakras real? While not tangible, the importance of chakras within multiple traditions suggests they are. Rachel Markowitz explains the meaning, locations and colors of the seven main chakras, plus the mantras and yoga asanas that activate these unique energy centres. I was introduced to chakras during a yoga teaching training class when a teacher instructed me to chant “ham” repeatedly while inverted in a shoulder stand. This, the instructor said, would open my throat chakra, which was linked to my insecurities, and radically improve my life. At the time, this seemed odd; I didn’t know what a throat chakra was, why it might be closed, how opening it would be helpful, or how chanting upside-down might facilitate this! However, I can now admit that, as a yoga instructor myself, I’ve suggested similar practices to students for a multitude of reasons. Since chakras are not part of the physical body, they often remain a mystery. However, a basic understanding of energetic anatomy is a powerful tool for harmonizing body, mind, and spirit. Let's explore the chakra system together and discover some tips to help ensure your energy flows freely. What are Chakras? Chakras are moving centers of concentrated energy located in the subtle (energetic) body. In Sanskrit, chakra translates to wheel, which serves as an appropriate visual representation of these spinning energy disks. Chakras were first mentioned in the Vedas thousands of years ago – a series of texts that form the basis of Indian philosophy, all branches of yoga, and Ayurvedic medicine – and were later described in the Upanishads, Yoga Sutras, and Tantric texts. There are numerous systems for identifying and classifying these energetic vortexes, and most traditions suggest that we have over 100 chakras throughout the subtle body. It' possible to work on activating chakras during yoga However, according to most modern-day yoga teachings, seven chakras are particularly significant. These major chakras are located along our main energetic channel, Sushumna Nadi, ascending from the base of the spine to slightly above the crown of the head. Chakras govern certain aspects of our physical body, mind, and spiritual path. Each of the seven main chakras corresponds to a color and is depicted by a lotus flower with specific geometrical and symbolic qualities. Each chakra also has a corresponding bija, or seed, mantra. Furthermore, the first five chakras are linked to an element (the last two chakras relate to existence beyond the elements). In an ideal state of being, all chakras are open and aligned. Other healthy-chakra descriptions include “activated,” “balanced,” or “unblocked.”) Why Learn About Chakras? Understanding each chakra and its role in our composition can help us see patterns in our overall well-being, identify and heal imbalances and chakra blockages, and strengthen the body, mind, and aura. RELATED: Yoga For Happiness: Gratitude Yoga Kundalini Meditation: 4 Key Benefits and How to Practise It Fasting and Autophagy: Ancient Wisdom Chakras also offer a unique perspective on the connection between our internal and external worlds. For healing, we can work to clear and balance energy in the entire body or focus on each chakra individually. Either way, when we take the time to ensure that prana, or life-force energy, is moving without constrictions or resistance in the energetic body, we encourage optimal health – from the inside out. Exploring the Major Chakras The seven main energy centers are divided into three lower chakras, which relate to the Earth and the individual self, and three higher chakras, which connect us to the universe and spirit. The higher and lower chakras come together at the heart chakra, located in the center of the chest, at the level of our anatomical heart. “Chakras govern certain aspects of our physical body, mind, and spiritual path. Each of the seven main chakras corresponds to a color and is depicted by a lotus flower with specific geometrical and symbolic qualities.” Below is a description of each of the seven major chakras, including location, associations, symbol, color, and mantra – along with a short list of suggested yoga practices that promote chakra health. For strengthening, unblocking, or healing an ailment related to a certain chakra, you can visualize a light at its location, focus on its symbol, chant its mantra, incorporate its color in your daily life, or practice the postures or breathing techniques listed in each section. The 7 main chakras, colors and locations within the human body 1. Root (Muladhara) Chakra The root chakra governs the health of the lower body, from the feet to the hips. In life, it’s connected to basic survival, primal instincts, and foundational physical and material needs. Location: Base of the spine; pelvic floor Color and Symbol: Red lotus flower with four petals Element: Earth Mantra: Lam. Recommended Yoga Practices: Warrior poses, lunges, balancing postures, seated positions 2. Sacral (Svadisthana) Chakra In the physical body, the sacral chakra energetically controls our hips, sexual organs, and reproductive health. It’s also connected to desire, emotional stability, sexuality, pleasure, and anything we create. Location: Below the navel Color and Symbol: Orange lotus flower with six petals Element: Water Mantra: Vam. Recommended Yoga Practices: Happy Baby pose, Goddess pose, hip openers 3. Solar Plexus (Manipura) Chakra The solar plexus chakra is related to the core of our body and our digestive system. Mentally and emotionally, this chakra governs strength, confidence, willpower, ego, and the way we assimilate or “digest” information. It’s strongly linked to the concept of tapas in yoga, our inner fire. Location: Center of the body; near the abdomen and below the ribcage Color and Symbol: Yellow lotus flower with 10 petals Element: Fire Mantra: Ram. Recommended Yoga Practices: Boat pose, twists, Breath of Fire 4. Heart (Anahata) Chakra As mentioned earlier, Anahata chakra is the place where the upper and lower chakras join together at the heart center. In our bodies, this chakra governs the area around the chest, anatomical heart, and lungs. In our lives, the heart chakra is related to love (of self and others), relationships, trust, and compassion. Location: Center of the chest at heart level Color and Symbol: Green lotus flower with 12 petals Element: Air Mantra: Yam Recommended Yoga Practices: Camel pose, Bow pose, Puppy pose 5. Throat (Vishuddha) Chakra The throat chakra governs the throat and neck area, as well as the thyroid gland, and is linked to our sense of speech, creativity, and ability to communicate authentically. Vishuddha chakra is also significant as our center of energetic purification. Location: Throat Color and Symbol: Blue lotus flower with 16 petals Element: Ether (Space) Mantra: Ham. Recommended Yoga Practices: Shoulder Stand, Fish pose, Lion’s Breath, chanting 6. Third Eye (Ajna) The third eye center is closely linked to our pineal gland, nervous system, and sense of intuition and perception. Thus, we often look to ajna chakra for relaxation and visions during spiritual practice. Location: Center of the brain; between the eyebrows Color and Symbol: Violet or indigo lotus flower with two petals Mantra: Om Recommended Yoga Practices: Child’s pose, meditation, Shambhavi Mudra (directing gaze at the third eye) 7. Crown (Sahasrara) The crown chakra connects the individual self to the greater Self. It’s related to cosmic consciousness, self-awareness, and the interconnectedness of all that is. Location: Slightly above the crown of the head Color and Symbol: White, Light, or Violet thousand-petal lotus flower Mantra: Aum (or silent aum) Recommended Yoga Practices: Headstand, Savasana, meditation Are Chakras Real? Chakras are not physical or tangible, but that doesn’t make them less real than other aspects of our physical, mental, emotional, or energetic existence. One indicator of the validity of the concept of chakras is their appearance throughout various traditions and time. In addition to the yogic systems of chakras, Buddhist, Jain, and other healing modalities also visualize and work with chakras (or similar locations of concentrated energy, such as meridians/Dan Tien in Chinese medicine) as points of focus for meditation and healing. Chakras can be used as focal points during meditation Although science has yet to prove the existence of chakras, research is on the way to doing so. Recent technology is now able to measure the electromagnetic radiance of auras and the energetic body, indicating that our energetic presence, particularly energy emanating from the heart, extends far beyond our physical bodies. “Chakras are not physical or tangible, but that doesn’t make them less real than other aspects of our physical, mental, emotional, or energetic existence.” That being said, the purpose of this article is not to convince you that chakras are real, but rather to serve as an introduction to those who would like to explore deeper aspects of self-awareness. Yoga is a science of getting to know your true self through experimentation and introspection. So, for those of you questioning the nuances of your subtle body and the reality of the chakra system, I urge you to experiment with the basic visualization techniques and contemplation methods indicated above. Takeaway: Yoga Chakras, Colors and Locations According to the science of yoga, chakras are powerful vortexes of moving energy located along our major energetic channel, that govern different aspects of our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. By understanding the role of the major chakras in our bodies and lives, we can begin to identify and balance each aspect of our energetic composition to embark on the path of holistic healing and well-being. ● Images: shutterstock/May_Chanikran, shutterstock/E.Va, shutterstock/New Africa happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum Authenticity | Empathy | Resilience | Self care Written by Rachel Markowitz Rachel recently found herself over a decade deep in a worldwide wander guided by what she feels to be true. She’s been facilitating classes and workshops on yoga, meditation, self-exploration, and alternative ways of living since 2012, mostly in Latin America and Asia. These days, she spends most of her time looking at, walking around, or singing to a sacred mountain in southern India. Read more of her words at her to those who wonder blog.

Curious about cacao? Cacao ceremonies are grounded in intention and can benefit the mind, body, emotions, and spirit. Rhianna Quanstrom explores the power of ceremonial cacao and the history of this ancient practice. Gathered in a circle with a steaming cup of cacao, you enter a transformative experience. The cacao opens your heart and elevates your mind, helping you connect with those around you and to the light within. A cacao ceremony is grounded in intention, and with it come many benefits. Ceremonial cacao benefits all aspects of self, including the spiritual, physical, mental, and emotional. To better understand these benefits, let’s dive into what a cacao ceremony is, including its history, what cacao is, what you can expect during a ceremony, and how you can participate in one yourself. What is a Cacao Ceremony? A cacao ceremony is typically a communal gathering where people come together to receive the medicine of cacao. At its root, it is a spiritual experience that opens the heart and brings people together in harmony. Every cacao ceremony is unique, and traditional ceremonies can differ significantly from modern Western ceremonies. In both settings, there's usually a guide or shaman who leads the ceremony and directs the flow of activities. A cacao ceremony is not limited to a group setting and can be performed by individuals in their home. In essence, it's about receiving the medicine of cacao, which is ultimately a deeply personal experience. Cacao Ceremony History Cacao is deeply rooted in ancient (and modern) Mesoamerican cultures and history. Its use as a ceremonial plant dates back to the Aztecs and Mayans, who revered it as the “food of the gods.” They used cacao in spiritual ceremonies and rituals to unite the community and to honor important life initiations. For example, it was used in ceremonies for births, marriages, baptisms, and funerals. It was also used regularly by the temple leaders as an aid in communing with the Divine. Interestingly, it played an important role in sacrifices to the gods. Candles help create an intentional atmosphere during a cacao ceremony Cacao was sacred to these people and was woven into their culture, mythology, healing practices, and spiritual traditions. As such, their ceremonies held a more religious focus, with cacao serving as a vessel for honoring and communicating with their deities. In Western cultures today, cacao is not used in the same religious ways, though it remains a deeply spiritual experience when used with intention. Its history and cultural significance, however, should still be honored and respected. When participating in a cacao ceremony, it is respectful to acknowledge its origins and the people who have held this wisdom for centuries. As such, this wisdom helps us distinguish what ceremonial cacao is compared to modern chocolate. What is Ceremonial Cacao Exactly? Ceremonial cacao is quite different from the chocolate we know (and love!). Their differences lie in how they are processed and used. High-quality ceremonial cacao comes from native cacao plants in Central and South America. The beans are harvested from these native (and sometimes wild) plants before being minimally processed for consumption. “Ceremonial cacao benefits the mind, emotions, body, and spirit. Both the cacao itself and the community have been shown to improve one’s well-being.” The beans are first fermented and sun-dried, then sometimes lightly roasted before being stone-ground into a paste. This process retains cacao's natural compounds, which are highly beneficial for the body, making cacao a modern-day “superfood.” Furthermore, the cacao butter and solids are not separated in this phase, which is common for modern chocolate. The cacao paste is then simmered in hot water to make the thick beverage used for ceremonies. This drink doesn’t taste like a normal hot chocolate; it's much more bitter and earthy tasting. To enhance its flavor and potency, spices, natural sweeteners, and milk are sometimes added to the simmering cacao. For instance, a pinch of cayenne may be used to help “activate” cacao’s medicinal and spiritual properties. The cacao used in ceremonies is bitter and earthy tasting In contrast, modern chocolate is moderately to highly processed and is usually made from hybrid cacao varieties grown on large-scale monoculture farms. It's processed differently from ceremonial cacao and does not retain the same level of nutrients. Moreover, chocolate is enjoyed as a sweet treat, whereas ceremonial cacao is consumed with intention as a plant medicine supporting one’s spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being. What Happens During a Cacao Ceremony? As mentioned above, every cacao ceremony is slightly different depending on the guide and setting. Even so, you can expect an intentional atmosphere — perhaps with cushions on the ground, candles, incense, or crystals — whether outside or inside. Once the participants of the ceremony have settled, the facilitator opens the space with welcoming words. During this phase, there may be discussion about the history and traditional uses of cacao. Each participant may be invited to set an intention for the ceremony, either inwardly or aloud. After the space is set, the cacao is served. The participants are invited to sit with the energy of the beverage, hold it to their heart, and drink the warm, thick liquid slowly. MORE LIKE THIS: Exploring Shamanic Healing: What to Expect Psychedelic Integration What is Ego Death? Meaning, Symptoms and Causes Once the cacao is finished, the ceremony moves into other activities, and it's here that they can vary greatly. There is typically some sort of movement, such as dance or yoga, conscious breathwork, and meditation. There can also be sound healing (crystal singing bowls, gongs, etc.), group sharing, or creative expression through song, art, or writing. While the outward activities unfold, you may notice a shift occurring within. Cacao naturally increases blood flow and softly opens the heart. You may feel emotions stirring and an easeful receptiveness towards those around you. When the heart softens and opens, love flows more freely and gracefully, and this is the energy that surrounds the sacred cacao ceremony. The Benefits of a Ceremonial Cacao Benefits Along with the love that holds the group together, ceremonial cacao benefits the mind, emotions, body, and spirit. Both the cacao itself and the community have been shown to improve one’s well-being. 1. Physical Benefits Research by the National Library of Medicine confirms that cacao is rich in nutrients and antioxidants, which help prevent and combat oxidative stress. The numerous flavonoids (plant compounds) in cacao have also been shown to improve cardiovascular health, reduce cholesterol levels, regulate inflammation, and support metabolism. Furthermore, cacao contains theobromine, which is a gentle stimulant that increases blood flow. This is what contributes to the heart-opening experience in the cacao ceremony. 2. Mental Benefits The compound theobromine also increases blood flow and oxygenation to the mind, enhancing clarity, focus, and memory. Another study by the National Library of Medicine found that cocoa-rich products improved participants' moods while lowering depression and anxiety. In addition, the practices woven into a cacao ceremony, such as meditation, movement, and breathwork, support mental calm and elevate one’s mood and happiness. 3. Emotional Benefits Energetically, cacao softens and opens the heart. While studies show the physical effects of this, there are also the emotional/energetic effects. When one’s heart opens and softens, emotions can move more freely. Whatever is just beneath the surface can start to rise, which is why it’s normal for emotions to become heightened during a cacao ceremony. It is simply energy moving. “Ceremonial cacao benefits the mind, emotions, body, and spirit. Both the cacao itself and the community have been shown to improve one’s well-being.” Because of cacao’s mood-boosting properties and the energy of the group container, there are typically feelings of joy and happiness during the ceremony. However, there can also be grief, sadness, or anger that rises to the surface for release. In essence, a cacao ceremony creates a safe space for emotional expression, helping one feel lighter and clearer. 4. Spiritual Benefits With the support of the community and cacao’s physical, mental, and emotional effects, one’s energy begins to harmonize. This allows for a deeper connection to self and the light within. This is amplified with the guided meditation and intentional movement that most ceremonies include. When one’s heart and mind are open and receptive, inner wisdom can more easily reveal itself to our consciousness. As such, there is a high possibility for one to leave a cacao ceremony with clarity on their path forward, insight into their healing journey, or peace with the feeling of being at home within themselves. The community of ceremonies brings people together Can I Do My Own Cacao Ceremony? It's possible. One can lead a self-guided ceremony and experience the profound healing, clarity, and sacredness of cacao in the comfort of their own home. However, if you’ve never participated in a guided ceremony, we highly recommend starting with a group cacao ceremony. When people gather together with the same intention and focus, the energy — and the potential for healing and insight — is amplified. Plus, you'll have the experience of working with cacao with a guide before doing it on your own. RELATED: What is the Peyote Cactus and Is It Legal? Microdosing 101: A Modern Phenomenon Rooted in Ancient Times What is Huachuma, the San Pedro Cactus? If you’re interested in ceremonial cacao training, we recommend checking out local or online training. Ceremonial cacao training will equip you with the knowledge and confidence to lead a group and help others experience the transformational healing available in a cacao ceremony. Takeaway: Ceremonial Cacao A cacao ceremony is a powerful, unifying experience that is all about connection — connection to self, community, and the spirit of cacao. With its gentle, heart-opening effects, a cacao ceremony helps one deepen into the love within and to the love of those around them. Along with cacao’s superfood benefits, it's a sacred plant long revered by the people who tend it. It should be treated with respect, and its ancient history should be remembered and honored with each sip. More than just a beverage, cacao is a bridge that connects us to a tradition of seeking the light within and connecting with the harmony of love. Whether you join a group, create an at-home ritual, or begin ceremonial cacao training, you can experience the healing, clarity, and sense of purpose that working with cacao has to offer. ● Images: shutterstock/Jozef Klopaca, shutterstock/Jozef Klopaca, shutterstock/Jozef Klopaca happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Herbalism | CBD | Energy healing | Alternative medicine Written by Rhianna Quanstrom Rhianna Quanstrom is a freelance writer, herbalist, and spiritual seeker with a passion for nature-based healing and sacred wisdom. Her writing draws from years of experience with meditation, shamanic practices, plant medicine, dream work, and the reclamation of the Sacred Feminine. Discover more of her writing and poetry on her Mystic Love Substack.

As age gap friendships become increasingly common, Calvin Holbrook muses over the benefits older friends can bring to our lives, and how they can bring happiness to different generations. Living in London as a bright young thing during my 20s, plenty of my friends were older than me; indeed, many were already in their 30s or 40s. As someone who always felt older than their years, I lapped up my older friends' knowledge, broader cultural references and maturity. More recently, after hitting the big 4-0 myself, I struck up an age gap friendship with a guy in his 60s. I became particularly inspired by Jack, a senior American that stayed with me for a month in Barcelona. He was up out of bed at dawn, off exploring the city all day long, and out making new friends – and going on dates! I was in awe of his youthful spirit, energy and devil-may-care attitude – it was infectious and we clicked instantly. Similarly, I have no shame in saying my best older friend is probably my own mum: she may be 70, but sometimes we laugh together so much we both end up with our cheeks aching and tears in our eyes. Of course, admitting to having much older, adult friends when you’re a teenager would have probably resulted in tears of a different kind: from your friends shunning you for being such a loser (your best mate is your mum?). However, even in today’s youth-driven society, there are signs that the shaming of age gap friendships may be over, and that they're actually on the rise. This can only be a good thing, because, as we’ll discover, there are many benefits of having much older – or, conversely, younger – friends. Age Gap Friendships: the New Generation? Although there's currently little hard data on the subject, generation gap friendships appear to be flourishing. Numerous heartwarming stories have appeared in the press in praise of having older friends. Indeed, thanks to social media it’s now even easier to meet people with similar interests, meaning that age differences are increasingly irrelevant. RELATED: Understanding the Power of Friends And, with accommodation in crisis in major cities worldwide, younger people are increasingly moving in with older generations – such as the Baby Boomers – that often have spare rooms in their already mortgage-free homes. With almost 75 per cent of older people struggling with loneliness and isolation in the UK, intergenerational living has to be a win-win situation: giving the older person company and extra income, and the younger friend a more affordable place to live and someone inspirational to learn from. Age gap friendships can be illuminating In fact, the benefits of age gap friendships extend further. “Bridging the generation gap not only increases the friend pool, but it also expands and supports mental well-being,” Anna Kudak, Ph.D., co-author of What Happy Women Do told Good Housekeeping magazine. She continued, “friendships with older and younger people help broaden your perspective, which in turn allows you to have compassion and empathy in your day-to-day life.” And, there’s no reason why age gap friendships cannot be as close as those with friendships of similar ages. Psychology professor Robert Kurzban from the University of Pennsylvania has studied factors that affect friendship quality. He found that matching age was not a predictor of friendship closeness or quality. Older Friends: 8 Benefits of Age Gap Friendships While generation gap friendships may require a little more effort and understanding, it’s clear the rewards are many. So, here’s a deeper look at the benefits of having a much older – or younger – friend. 1. Widening perspective and losing preconceived notions Younger generations often assume the lives of older people are boring. Likewise, older generations often think of Millennials as both entitled and self-interested. Of course, these are stereotypes and false assumptions. Developing age gap friendships has the potential to widen your perspective around different age groups and see the truth beyond stereotypes. 2. Sharing valuable wisdom and insights Older friends have already ‘been there, done that’, meaning they have plenty of useful knowledge and experience younger generations can tap into. Older friends can help you navigate work life, financial or family difficulties, break-ups and other major life issues because – more likely than not – they’ve already experienced them. Haven’t got a clue about how to get a mortgage, split up with an unsuitable partner, or arrange a funeral? Your older friend can probably help. “Developing age gap friendships has the potential to widen your perspective around different age groups and see the truth beyond stereotypes.” Meanwhile, the younger generation tend to be more fluent in technology and issues around popular culture, meaning older friends can certainly benefit from their knowledge in these areas, picking up relevant new skills, especially in our increasingly online society. In fact, older friends might be learning abut a whole new world which is alien (yet exciting) to them. RELATED: Finding Your Tribe – the 7 Steps You Need to Take 3. Expand horizons and share similar interests Many of our friendships develop from shared experiences, such as being at school, work or through friends-of-friends. However, many of these people don’t necessarily share our interests and hobbies. As we engage in and pursue our interests over our lifetime, those that share our passions play a deeper role in our lives. This is where generation gap friendships often come into play. Because whether you’re into running, knitting or playing the cello, you’re sure to find inspiring people of all ages and make older – and younger – friends. It’s a great chance to connect around your passions and develop a deeper bond, learning or teaching around your specialist hobby. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Age UK's befriending brought Rose and Sarah together Age UK/YouTube 4. Sincerity and respect Older generations usually have a deeper sense of mutual sincerity and respect than younger generations. Additionally, according to researchers at the University of California, San Francisco, older generations are also less prone to drama, as they perceive more complexity in situations than younger people, who often go off the handle more easily. • HAVE YOUR SAY! What Are the Qualities of a Best Friend? • Younger people can therefore expect to have more sincere, frank and potentially more meaningful conversations with older friends (which perhaps they wouldn't get with friends of a similar age). Likewise, older friends will expect respect and sincerity in return from you, so it's great chance to develop these skills. 5. Their confidence may inspire you The elderly can sometimes come across opinionated to younger generations, and that’s because they usually are! That's because with age comes confidence: less caring about what others think, or the need to impress. “Older friends can help you navigate financial difficulties, break-ups, and other major life issues because they’ve already experienced them.” “Older people not only have the benefit of experience, they’re also less afraid of the opinions of others — so are more likely to say what they think,” Mark Vernon, author of The Meaning of Friendship, told the Daily Mail. “Their view often throws something unexpected into the mix.” Such confidence may inspire the younger friend in their discussions around life. 6. Observing a different view point Furthermore, age and growing older usually helps to shape our opinions, so another benefit of age gap friendships is the chance to see something from an entirely different point of view, one perhaps you would have never considered previously. Being exposed to the ideas of older generations offers food for thought and the chance to expand your mind in a new way. Likewise, younger friends can teach the older partner in age gap friendships different perspectives from a modern age. 7. They aren’t your parents Although a few of us may have very open relationships with our parents, being able to discuss our sex lives in intimate detail is probably off-limits! Not so for our older friends, who also probably won’t judge you or try to guide you in a way your parent might. RELATED: The 8 Types of Friends We All Need Indeed, older friends can be a bit like our grandparents or a friendly aunt or uncle: letting you do the things your parents forbid. And they will also probably enjoy indulging in these type of conversations that will help to keep them young at heart, too. 8. You’ll get an awesome cultural lesson You can learn so much about history and culture from older friends in age gap friendships (and vice versa). Older people possess a wealth of knowledge and life experience that can be tapped into and enjoyed: Millennials and Generation X-ers can discover new music, film, artists, as well as fascinating stories about the past that can inspire them or widen life horizons. Likewise, Baby Boomers and beyond may be curious to enjoy learning about the latest trends in music and fashion. In fact, all different age groups can get recommendations and new references that they cannot get from their own age group: what's not to love? Ideas on how to make older friends So, if reading about the benefits of age gap buddies has got you itching to pan out your friendship pool, how can you make some new older friends? Of course, friendships are best when they're natural, without being forced, and – if you pay attention – there are chances to make friends of different age groups every day. Cookin' up an age gap friendship But, specifically, you can try a few things to find friends that are that bit more mature. Firstly, as mentioned earlier, join a club around one of your hobbies: there will be people of old ages present, providing a unique chance to meet older pals. Secondly, get to know your neighbours in your building or local area that are older. Instead of just saying 'hi' in the corridor, invite them in for a chat over a coffee. Similarly, in the UK for example, charities such as Age UK run befriending services that pair younger people from the community with lonely, older people, helping to build community bonds and relieve isolation in the elderly. And, of course, using social media to join online groups is a great way to find friends of all different ages. The takeaway: age gap friendships It's clear that if we limit our pool of potential friends to those of our own age, we're missing out on all kinds of brilliant and inspiring folk we could be developing an important social bond with. For younger people, having an older friend or three means we have someone mature we can learn from and ask for life advice when needed. And for that older friend in any generational gap friendship, having a younger buddy will potentially ease isolation and also help to keep them connected in our fast-paced society, keeping them feeling forever young. As the old saying goes, age is definitely just a number, so if you don't already have some older friends, start building some new connections today! ● Main image: shutterstock/simona pilolla 2, shutterstock/AlessandroBiascioli, shutterstock/Bojan Milinkov happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Deep listening | Trust | Forgiveness Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits our magazine, as well being an artist and travel lover. He also loves hiking, nature, swimming, yoga, sweaty dancing, and all things vintage!

Sonia Vadlamani explores practical ways to strengthen and balance the key areas – or pillars – of life for long-term happiness and success. Picture the scenario. You’re crushing it at work: hitting targets, achieving goals, and earning accolades from superiors and peers. On the surface, your life looks perfect. However, your peace and mental health are declining and your personal relationships are strained. If this sounds familiar, chances are you’re lacking an important element – balance – in your life. Life can often seem like a juggling act, with its myriad responsibilities and tasks to complete within limited reserves of time and attention. What’s more, the fast-paced world around us sometimes tends to reward the pursuit of perfection in one area of life – often our career – while other areas take a backseat. However, decades of research show that true happiness comes from finding harmony across multiple pillars, or key aspects of life, not just one. The good news is that achieving balance isn’t as complex as one may imagine. By understanding and intentionally working toward achieving balance across the key pillars of life, you can create the foundation for a more joyful and sustainable version of success. What are the pillars of life? The prominent Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung identified five pillars, or key elements, necessary for a happy and fulfilling life: Good physical and mental health Healthy personal relationships, including family and friendships The ability to perceive beauty in art and nature A reasonable standard of living and satisfactory work A philosophical or religious perspective that fosters resilience Jung emphasized the interconnectedness of the various aspects of life, with these pillars forming a comprehensive framework for a meaningful, fulfilling life. While his model remains important, experts have expanded upon it to better reflect the evolving needs of modern times. Learn to balance aspects of life for optimal well-being Psychiatrists, wellbeing coaches, and health advisors often highlight the key aspects of life that align with Jung’s pillars: Health pertains to both physical and mental wellbeing, supported by regular exercise, a nutritious diet, adequate sleep, and emotional regulation – the ability to recognize, perceive and manage your emotions effectively. Relationships include family, romantic partnerships, friendships, and social connections. The interplay of relationships and wellbeing has been extensively documented, indicating that cultivating meaningful connections is a crucial key to happiness. Financial health does not refer merely to monetary wealth, but financial security and the ability to meet your needs and occasional wants, without constant worry about expenses and bills. Work and Purpose include career and professional pursuits, along with activities that offer you a sense of purpose and the satisfaction of contributing to something greater. Play and personal growth represent your creative pursuits, leisure, hobbies, and interests, in addition to your efforts to advance your skills and knowledge. Some experts believe in additional pillars or key aspects, such as spirituality or volunteering, depending on individual needs and interests. It’s important for individuals to identify the core areas that are important for their sense of purpose and happiness. Why is balancing the pillars of life important? At times it’s normal – and even necessary – to focus on one area of life. For instance, situations like managing a health condition, taking on an extra work assignment to advance your career, or navigating a family emergency may require you to prioritize one aspect of life over others. However, research shows that the imbalance can become chronic if some areas are neglected too long, impacting one’s overall wellbeing. A 2020 study published in BMC Public Health analyzed data from 32,275 working adults across 30 countries in Europe. It showed a poor association between the adults' work-life balance and self-reported health. “By working toward achieving balance across the key pillars of life, you can create the foundation for a more joyful and sustainable version of success.” The statistics from North America echo a similar imbalance. A study by Elvtr.com involving 2,300 participants from the US and Canada revealed the alarming lack of work-life balance, indicating that 68% of the participants continue working even on vacations, and 57% feel anxious if they don’t check work emails during their time off. These findings point toward a worrying lack of boundaries between professional and personal life. Conversely, achieving balance across the pillars of life has been shown to generate a continuous cycle of positive outcomes. A Harvard Business Review study published in 2022 highlighted the benefits of corporate programs that support work/life balance, with employees reporting improved mental and physical health, lower stress and burnout, in addition to increased productivity and reduced employee turnover. MORE LIKE THIS: What the 12 Pillars of Well-Being Can Teach Us Rewiring for Joy: 8 Expert-Based Happiness Hacks The Importance of Community: 7 Key Benefits Indeed, the ability to step away from work, take care of our physical and mental health, and spend more time with friends and family strengthens our support system and makes us better equipped to handle stress. Reduced stress and financial stability, in turn, allow space and opportunity for personal growth, creative pursuits, and play – all of which contribute toward long-term happiness. Six ways to balance the pillars of life Balancing these different areas of life can seem overwhelming at first, but it is possible with intention and the right measures. Here are six practical ways to help you strike the right balance among the key pillars of life, thereby laying the foundation for lasting happiness: 1. Conduct a life audit Start with a thorough assessment of where you currently stand in each area of life. On a scale of 1 to 10, rate your satisfaction in each aspect: physical and mental health, relationships, finances, career, and play/personal growth. Identify the areas that are already robust and the ones that require more attention. Remember that this is an exercise in awareness and not of judgment – it can help you establish a baseline to help you focus your efforts and track the progress over time. For example, if your career scores an 8 but your health is at 4 and play is at 2, you can easily identify where you need to shift your focus. 2. Make health non-negotiable Health is the foundation the rest of the pillars are built on. Research highlights the substantial benefits of regular exercise, including stress reduction, improved immunity and lower risk of heart disease, cancer, diabetes, as well as mental health conditions like anxiety and depression. The best way to prioritize health, therefore, is by integrating it into your daily routines. Prioritize health as your key pillar of life Some simple ways to strengthen your health pillar are: Move your body daily: Whether it’s strength training, mindful running, or just a 30-minute brisk walk. Vary your routine to stay motivated. Eat nourishing, whole foods while minimizing processed foods, takeouts, and excess sugar. Get adequate sleep: aim for 7-9 hours of restful sleep each night. Find ways to manage stress. Happy habits like 10 minutes of meditation, yoga, or conscious breathing can keep stress at bay. 3. Build meaningful relationships with intention According to Harvard’s longest-running study on happiness, the strongest predictor of long-term happiness isn’t fame or wealth, but meaningful relationships. Yet, ironically, it’s often the first key area of life we tend to neglect as life gets busier. You can be intentional about nurturing connections by: Making time regularly for people who matter to you. Putting distractions at bay and listening mindfully when in their presence. Expressing gratitude and appreciation sincerely and frequently. Being present and offering support through happy and tough times. 4. Set clear boundaries between all areas of life The different aspects of life – work, self-care, and relationships – may often bleed into each other. While some overlap is acceptable, maintaining clear boundaries is easier when you can identify which pillars of life tend to overlap for you and how it affects your wellbeing. “Health is the foundation the rest of the pillars are built on. The best way to prioritize health, therefore, is by integrating it into your daily routines.” For example, if remote or hybrid work mode has made it more difficult to segregate your professional and personal life, you can devise methods to set intentional boundaries to avoid stress and burnout. Here are some effective ways to create boundaries: Turn off work notifications after hours to protect your energy for personal time. Allocate specific hours for different areas like work, play, relationships, and personal growth, and honor them all with equal importance. Limit your digital media consumption to a set screen-time quota. Avoid energy vampires and learn to say “no” to people and commitments that don’t align with your priorities. 5. Align your goals with purpose and meaning Working solely for financial gain may seem fulfilling at first, but the lack of meaning or purpose may make you feel empty and questioning about life’s purpose. Life feels enriched and enjoyable when you align your goals with what truly matters to you. Fuel your sense of purpose by: Contributing to causes that are bigger than yourself, eg, volunteering. Pursuing growth opportunities that help you advance toward your goals. Automating your work to make time for the other pillars of life. Engaging in acts of kindness. Setting time aside for personal growth and play to keep your spirit energized. Incorporate purpose as a pillar of life 6. Strengthen your financial foundation While money can’t buy you happiness on its own, financial security is cited as one of the top contributors toward better quality of life and overall wellbeing. Here’s how you can strengthen your finance pillar: Create a realistic budget that aligns your spending patterns with your short-term and long-term goals. Build an emergency fund that covers at least 3 months of expenses. Educate yourself about personal finance, smart investing, and wealth planning. Consult an expert for sound financial advice when needed. Failure to balance life pillars Failure to balance the pillars of life can result in more than temporary stress. Indeed, neglecting one or more aspects of life can create a domino effect that can disrupt one’s entire life structure, thereby impacting wellbeing. For instance, workaholics may achieve success at the cost of strained relationships and fading health. Similarly, those struggling with digital distractions or lack of a clear routine may find it difficult to stay productive and may face financial hardships. Digital overconsumption can also result in stress, anxiety, and digital burnout, according to a survey study of 202 participants published in Science Direct. The resulting burnout can also lead to a decline in physical and mental health, in addition to eroding one’s chances for long-term success and happiness. Takeaway: Balancing the pillars of life A fulfilling life doesn’t come from shining in just one aspect – it develops when we nurture all the key areas of life that make it meaningful. While the pursuit of a balanced life can seem elusive in this fast-paced world, Jung’s ageless wisdom, combined with decades of modern research, reminds us that genuine success stems from harmony in different pillars of life, namely health, relationships, financial security, fulfilling work, and personal growth. ● Images: shutterstock/VectorMine, shutterstock/Harbucks, shutterstock/Peopleimages.com - Yuri A happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Self care | Empathy | Communication skills Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future-self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Healing your wounded inner child takes dedicated work and patience. So, how can you tell if you're succeeding? Psychologist Stanislava Puač J. explains the key signs that your inner child is healing, from choosing healthier relationships to responding instead of reacting. Healing the child within can feel elusive and vague at first. Even a little scary. Yet, as you move through the inner child work of listening to and caring for that younger Self, the signs your inner child is healed begin to emerge. It is rarely a dramatic overnight transformation – more of a rewiring behind the scenes. The inner tension starts to soften. Old triggers lose their grip. Bit by bit, you realize that inside of you, there’s now a healed inner child. So, how do you know if it’s working? And how long does it take to heal your inner child? Before we dive in, let’s pause to remember what healing the child within actually means and why it's important to embark on this journey. Healing the Child Within Healing your inner child involves reconnecting with the parts of yourself shaped by childhood experiences — especially painful or unmet emotional needs — and offering them the care they needed but didn’t receive. But why dig out past hurts in the first place? According to psychological research and practice, unhealed childhood wounds tend to cause extensive adversities in adult life. They affect our mental well-being, relationships, and even physical health and longevity. There are many signs your inner child is being healed Luckily, as a recent study by Trivedi, et al published in The International Journal of Regression Therapy shows, an intervention aimed at healing your inner child, “effectively improves participants’ mental health [...]. Moreover, the data show that the positive effects tend to be more pronounced with a longer duration of the intervention”. Whether your inner child work involves therapy, journaling techniques, or using visualization and reparenting techniques, the path is rarely linear. But progress does leave footprints: here are some of the signs your inner child is healed. 9 Signs You’re Healing Your Inner Child A healed inner child doesn’t come to you with a memo saying: “Woohoo, everything’s perfect!” Nonetheless, if you have walked the path for a while, you will start noticing the signs your inner child is healed (or getting there). For me, it was when I realized I wasn’t entering a full panic mode when a man sitting next to me in public transportation started shouting (which would typically be a massive trigger). My healed inner child entered the stage as quietly as that. If you notice some of these signs your inner child is healed, take heart: change is unfolding. 1. You Respond Instead of Reacting Like my personal example above, specific triggers used to make you spiral into shame or lash out. Yet, now, you manage to pause before reacting. You recognize where the emotion comes from, accept it’s there, and choose how to respond. This is one of the most prominent sings your inner child is healed, because it means your childhood hurts no longer take over whenever you hit a bump on the road. 2. You No Longer Abandon Yourself to Keep Peace The moment you choose yourself over what others (or internalized others) expect you to be, everything changes. Carl Jung, the Swiss psychotherapist and psychologist, spoke about this. “Healing the child within can feel elusive at first. Yet, as you listen to and care for that younger Self, the signs your inner child is healed begin to emerge.” And a key marker of a healed inner child is precisely the ability to honour your needs and peculiarities. You are no longer willing to disappear just to keep the peace and avoid making waves. 3. You Feel Comfortable with Healthy Boundaries A natural continuation of the previous sign your inner child is healed is setting healthy boundaries. Your boundaries no longer resemble walls – nor are they non-existent. Nowadays, you have doors with locks you choose to open (or not). When you’re healing the child within, you begin to set boundaries from a place of self-respect. 4. You Can Self-Soothe Instead of Spiral Another vital sign your inner child is healed is when you stop spiralling into ruminating thoughts. Instead of incessantly asking yourself: “Did I do something wrong? Will they still like me if I say no?”, you now reach out for comforting behaviors, such as journaling, conscious breathing, music, and movement. You can now soothe your inner child from the position of a kind, attuned caregiver. A healed inner child will sooth instead of spiral 5. You Reclaim Joy and Playfulness When we live as adults with a hurt inner child, we tend to be overly adapted and efficient. In a sense, we’re a bit too adult. There’s little room for spontaneity. RELATED: What Playfulness Can Do For Your Relationship The moment you start letting yourself be silly and creative, you probably carry a healed inner child inside. Why? That freedom to play signals that the inner child feels safe enough to come out again. 6. You Sit Happily With Your Feelings Healing doesn’t mean you stop feeling sad or angry. But, unlike before, when you wouldn’t trust your emotions, you start acknowledging and validating them. You no longer feel the need to either suppress or dramatize your feelings to be taken seriously. 7. You Attract (or Choose) Healthier Relationships We tend to repeat the patterns from our family of origin. Unfortunately, if these were unhealthy, you have likely picked the wrong people to surround yourself with. Nonetheless, as you start healing your inner child, you begin to expect kindness and honesty from others. And you grow the capacity to give and receive healthy love. “The most profound sign your inner child is healed comes with a quiet sense of worth that doesn’t waver based on productivity, appearance, or approval.” What's more, a 2024 study by Loo Yee Hing from the International Grafinity Association of Malaysia revealed that such healing can be built upon further. A program aimed at healing the inner child among parents resulted in “transformation [that] was characterized by heightened self-awareness, improved emotional regulation, improved parenting skills and strategies, strengthened parent-child relationship that foster a suitable relationship”. 8. You Let Go of Harsh Self-Criticism Your inner critic’s voice has softened. Instead of cruel remarks about how incompetent you are when you make a mistake, you catch yourself offering self-compassion. That shift from punishment to patience and understanding signals your adult Self is making decisions about who and how worthy you are — and not the people who hurt you when you were a child. Dropping self-criticism: one sign your inner child is healing 9. You Know You’re Worthy – Even When You Struggle Finally, the most subtle yet profound sign your inner child is healed comes with a quiet sense of worth that doesn’t waver based on productivity, appearance, or approval. You now judge your worth and have integrity and an identity grounded in self-awareness and recognition of both your strengths and weaknesses. How Long Does It Take to Heal Your Inner Child? If you’re wondering how long it takes to heal your inner child, you’re not alone. It’s a common question, and a fair one. Unfortunately, you’re not going to receive a definite response. As with any self-development work, the road you need to travel before you live with a healed inner child varies. It is your personal path, and it's impossible to say what to expect in general. One friend told me he felt a massive improvement after only two therapy sessions. Most people begin to feel major shifts in a matter of months. Others walk this path for years. It all depends, among other factors, on: The severity of childhood trauma and adverse experiences you’re trying to heal Your current support system Consistency of your healing practices So, rather than aiming for a finish line, it’s more helpful to think in terms of layers. For example, you may heal the outer layer rather quickly, one that is tied to your self-confidence. And then, you might discover a deeper layer around trust or intimacy. Therefore, think about moving in an upward spiral, and peeling one layer after the other. Takeaway: Signs Your Inner Child is Healing Healing the child within is one of the most powerful journeys you can take. It’s as close as you can get to changing your past. No, wrongdoings won’t get undone. But you will transform how your past lives in you. And no, the transformation most likely won’t feel dramatic. Yet, you will wake up one morning, realizing that you have quietly become less anxious, kinder, and more in touch with the world and yourself; that you have shown up for yourself in ways no one else could. ● Images: shutterstock/Undry, shutterstock/dot.studio, shutterstock/Edge Creative happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum Confidence | Authenticity | Resilience Written by Stanislava Puač J. Stanislava Puač J. is a psychologist, life coach, and writer with over 15 years of experience exploring how our inner world shapes our interactions, health, and sense of self. Her work blends research, real-life practice, and a holistic view of well-being – spanning emotional regulation, communication, and mindfulness.

Failure to self-validate can lead to problems such as impulsive behaviour and the inability to manage emotional responses. Psychologist Stanislava Puač J. explores why many of us fail at it and explains how to validate yourself successfully in 5 steps. Most of us are great at validating others. We acknowledge their emotions, recognize effort and success, and support individualism and self-expression. However, the majority of us are equally lousy at self-validation. We all get angry, disappointed, sad, jealous, scared, demotivated. Ideally, one would accept and be able to regulate these emotions. Instead, many people immediately think: “I shouldn’t feel this way. I’m being ridiculous!” As a result, coping with different experiences becomes exceptionally challenging. Reactions seem to be out of control. If you struggle with similar issues, you probably haven’t mastered the art of self-validation. The ability – or inability – to validate ourselves intertwines with much of what we go through in life. In this article, we'll give you five ways to develop self-validation, so you can get to grips with this essential skill. Why self-validation is essential In simple terms, self-validation is accepting your own internal experience: your thoughts and feelings. Validation and self-validation are widely acknowledged problems in psychology, philosophy , and sociology. The roots of the problem of self-validation lie in the vital human need to be recognized and supported. According to Iser’s work in The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, recognition has critical psychological importance. Others’ feedback is essential for one’s practical identity to form. We could also touch upon Hegel’s concept of ‘struggle for recognition’. In its simplest, it points us towards understanding the source of our need to be validated. When we are misrecognized by others, our relationship with ourselves is hindered, or even destroyed. Self-validation means accepting your thoughts and feelings Such strength of humans’ need to be validated by others led many thinkers to voice the significance of self-validation. Rare is a psychologist or a philosopher that would dispute the ultimate value of autonomy and authenticity. The independence that comes with the capacity to be one’s own judge could be expressed with a quote by Fromm: “Obedience to my own reason or conviction (autonomous obedience) is not an act of submission but one of affirmation. My conviction and my judgment, if authentically mine, are part of me. If I follow them rather than the judgment of others, I am being myself.” - Erich Fromm, On Disobedience. What happens if I lack self-validation skills? In slightly more practical terms, the inability to self-validate can lead to a range of adverse outcomes: negating your thoughts and emotions can lead to a paradoxical effect in which you become even more affected by them, as research has demonstrated. When you deny and suppress your inner experiences, you lose control over them. You could think of it as an instruction to not think about a pink elephant. Your cognition still rests on the negated content. You could face many adversities in your personal and professional life because a lack of self-validation can cause impulsive behaviour and emotional dysregulation. You could be more prone to risky behaviours, addictions, eating disorders, to name a few. “Although the potential outcomes of a lack of self-validation sound rather bleak, you should not feel discouraged. That's because learning how to validate yourself is a skill that can be developed.” Your interpersonal skills could also suffer, leading to a range of other problems in your career or relationships. Your love life and friendships could be chaotic, codependent, and intensely challenging for everyone involved. Finally, you might be vulnerable to depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, PTSD, and other emotional disturbances. When you cannot validate yourself, you are driven to maladaptive coping. This, however, eventually leads you far away from well-being and mental health. Why do we have a hard time to self-validate? There is no definitive response to the question above. If you don't know how to validate yourself, a few things could have happened: i) Attachment styles If the inborn need to be safe, cared for, and recognized was unfulfilled, we might have become unable to self-validate. For example, you might have developed an anxious attachment style. How your parents interacted with you as a child serves as a blueprint for your adult relationships. MORE LIKE THIS: Inner Child Work and Therapy: How to Heal Past Wounds Radical Self Care: 8 Ways to Put Your Well-Being First, Unapologetically How to Stop Beating Yourself Up: 7 Techniques That Work You might not have learned to be self-sufficient and recognize your worth. As children, we need adequate support from our caregivers to develop a sense of security about our emotions, decisions and actions. Research reveals that people with an anxious attachment style have a strong need for social approval. In other words, they need others to validate them. ii) Modelling Another option was that your caregivers did not make it possible for you to mimic self-validation. When we are children, we acquire many traits and habits by modelling. If your primary attachment figure invalidated themselves, you probably learned to do the same. Research shows that emotional and behavioural self-validation and self-regulation are skills that are transferred from parent to child. iii) Adult trauma You might also have started doubting yourself due to a traumatic experience at any point in your life. Both anecdotal reports and scientific studies confirm that being a victim of abuse, for example, could make you doubt your self-efficacy and self-worth. Most importantly, your readiness to accept, experience and address your emotions could have been disturbed. When one is in an abusive relationship, for example, they gradually lose their sovereignty. Self-validation becomes a distant memory. How to Self-Validate: 5 Steps Although the potential outcomes of a lack of self-validation sound rather bleak, you should not feel discouraged: That's because learning how to validate yourself is a skill that can be developed. Even if your early experience geared you towards invalidating yourself, you now have the opportunity to change that. Try these 5 techniques to develop self-validation. 1. Practise mindfulness Mindfulness and self-validation go hand in hand. You cannot validate what you don’t recognize. You need to develop a non-judgmental awareness of your experiences, as they happen and when they happen, to validate them. Being present is the first level of validation. This means acknowledging your inner experience without avoidance or distraction. Mindfulness will help you regain grasp over your emotions and build up strength to cope with them. It's possible to develop self-validation skills Evidence from fMRI studies supports this argument. Individuals who were grieving a loss of a loved one were taught mindfulness techniques for eight weeks. When they were tested afterwards, their scores revealed a significantly better ability to regulate emotions. They also had fewer symptoms of depression, anxiety and grief. fMRI suggested that the participants learned to gain cognitive control over their feelings. They were no longer overwhelmed by them. 2. Be brutally honest with yourself Being imperfect stings, we know. Indeed, accepting imperfection is difficult for most people, especially so if they were taught that being great at something equals being worthy. If your parents and social environment were too demanding, it might have resulted in unhealthy perfectionism. Such a form of perfectionism has adverse effects on mental health, as confirmed in empirical research. If your sense of self-worth is equated to being flawless, you might have a tough time even noticing (let alone accepting) your blemishes. Nonetheless, when you want to learn the art of self-validation, you need to be brutally frank with yourself. MORE LIKE THIS: Perfectionism and Anxiety: 7 Ways to Cope I Feel Unheard: Why Does Nobody Listen To Me? How to Find Your Authentic Self: 8 Techniques Notice the emotions and thoughts you don’t feel proud of. Admit to yourself your shortcomings. Own up to your genuine reactions and experiences. Yes, there will be many unpleasant facts. It’s alright – no one is watching! 3. Develop your emotional intelligence Although there are a few relevant emotional intelligence (EI) models, psychologist Daniel Goleman’s work is among the most popular. He proposes that EI consists of five constructs: self-awareness, self-regulation, social skill (being able to get along with others), empathy, and motivation. You can notice how EI is necessary for your ability to self-validate. With EI comes the ability to reflect on your experiences and emotions. Luckily, EI is a skill that can be learned. Therefore, learning how to validate yourself means you must also start developing your EI. “Mindfulness and self-validation go hand in hand. You cannot validate what you don’t recognize. You need to develop a non-judgmental awareness of your experiences, as they happen and when they happen.” When you can accurately name what you're feeling, you can then start to acknowledge and accept your emotional response. As a result, you will build healthy relationships with others without needing their recognition to feel good or motivated. You will build emotional autonomy. 4. Connect with your body’s responses Some people have grown so detached from their inner world that they need to tap into their bodily reactions first. In this regard, some elements of body-centred psychotherapies could be used. According to this group of approaches to psychotherapy, the body is not just something we have. We are our bodies. This means we live as a whole, as an inseparable totality of body and mind. When we learn to validate who we are and what we experience, we should include our body’s responses into the equation. Where are your emotions? What does your body do when you feel in a certain way? How does it respond to people and events? What is it trying to tell you about yourself? You could try a body awareness meditation to help you get started. A combination of body awareness with mindfulness and accurate, honest reflection we suggested above will help you develop a sense of being rooted inside of your own experience. Use meditation to connect with body's responses 5. Self-validate by acknowledging your past experiences The final piece of advice in developing self-validation skills is to learn how to validate yourself by acknowledging your past experiences. They fused within yourself and made you into who you are now. You need to practise recognizing both positive and adverse experiences – and their consequences. How will this help you practise self-validation? Let's say that you had an intense reaction to your partner’s criticism of something you did. Try not to think: “You acted like a madman there!” You could self-validate this reaction by saying: “It’s understandable that you felt this way. Your mother/father would punish you harshly for failures, and you are still overly sensitive to criticism”. Such a validation does not mean that you condone erratic behaviour. It means that you allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you're feeling. You also name the emotion and understand its cause. These are the first steps to get into a self-validating mindset. Additionally, these are the first steps towards growing as a person. These five steps build up towards self-validation development as taught in dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT). According to DBT, there are three steps to validate yourself and your emotions – acknowledge, accept and understand. This worksheet could help you practice self-validation in everyday situations, as well as with more intense or past emotions. The Takeaway: Self-validate to Autonomy Self-validation is freedom. Freedom to experience life as it is: both the beautiful and the ugly. It gives you self-determination in picking your path. You get to do it independently of others’ influence, be it conscious or subconscious. When you learn to rely on yourself for validation, you gain the liberty to be genuine and own your experiences. Therefore, in the spirit of autonomy that we are propagating here, we invite you – acknowledge yourself and allow your authentic Self to exist! • Images: shutterstock/Victoria Chadinova, shutterstock/G-Stock Studio, shutterstock/Prostock-studio, shutterstock/Anatoliy Karlyuk happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum Empathy | Resilience | Stress Written by Stanislava Puač J. Stanislava Puač J. is a psychologist, life coach, and writer with over 15 years of experience exploring how our inner world shapes our interactions, health, and sense of self. Her work blends research, real-life practice, and a holistic view of well-being – spanning emotional regulation, communication, and mindfulness.

Understanding that happiness is a state of mind rather than something to be obtained is a key life lesson. Dee Marques shares 8 ways you can consciously choose to be more joyful. Happiness is the ultimate quest; something all humans aspire to. You’d think that after thousands of years of existence we would've become better at figuring out a way to be happy and stay happy. So, why is happiness so hard to achieve, and why does it slip out of our hands so easily? Or is happiness a state of mind rather than something that's 'achieveable'? Personally, I’ve always wondered why some people seem happier than others, or why having a more positive mindset seems to come easier to them. As we go through life, we all have good and bad experiences – things that will shape us for ever – so why do we react so differently to that input? In reality, science shows that happiness is partly determined by our genes. Researchers claim that happiness is 50 per cent dependent on genetics and just 10 per cent on personal circumstances (like our financial situation, relationships, career, etc.). That means the remaining 40 per cent is down to us, suggesting that happiness is a state of mind that can be reached through the right choices and attitude. As best-selling author and behavioural scientist Steve Maraboli was once quoted, “happiness is a state of mind; a choice, a way of living. It is not something to be achieved, it is something to be experienced.” So, let’s look into how you can adjust your way of living and find happiness in everything you experience. Happiness Is A State of Mind: 8 Top Tips True happiness is not a temporary feeling that comes and goes, but rather something that guides our thoughts and our reactions to what happens in our lives. Indeed, happiness comes from within. Many of our choices are automatic. This is how our brains work, and thank goodness for that, because otherwise we wouldn’t be able to function. However, it’s in our power to make conscious choices to ensure that happiness is a state of mind in our everyday lives. Follow these 8 top tips to help develop a happy state of mind. 1. Trick your brain Yes, you can fool your brain into thinking that happiness is a state of mind with one single gesture: a smile. Indeed, there are several studies showing that smiling sends positive feedback to the brain, even when you're forcing it! This is because the brain can pick up cues from our body to generate certain moods by releasing a bunch of feel-good hormones. Other studies show that smiling calms us down by slowing our heart rate. So, simply putting on a grin can improve your mood at times when you need it the most. Stay smiling! Happiness is a state of mind 2. Count your blessings It’s easy – and natural – to focus on what we don’t have and think we’ll be happy when we get it. Instead, think about the things you already do have that make life precious. And don’t just think about them, write them down. If you haven’t started a gratitude journal, this is the time to do so. Writing therapy can help solidify your appreciation for the good things in life and make you more aware of thought patterns that interfere with a happy mindset. Happiness is a state of mind when you feed your brain positive thoughts, and gratitude is a scientifcally-proven place to start. 3. Start your day the right way Instead of starting the day in a rush, set the alarm 10 or 15 minutes before your usual wake up time and get in an early morning meditation session. With practice, an early mediation session will give you greater clarity, so you can appreciate the best things in life and become stronger in the face of adversity. RELATED: 9 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation There are many useful meditation techniques, but mindfulness meditation is particularly good at training your brain to perceive that happiness is a state of mind. 4. Change perspective Some years ago, I went through a rough patch and hated everything. The gloomy British weather didn’t make things any easier: the lack of colour and sunlight got the worst of me and magnified other problems I was struggling with. So, one day I got on a plane to visit relatives, and a few minutes after taking off we pushed through clouds and suddenly I was floating in a sunny, peaceful space. All I had to do to be in a different world was gain altitude. “You can trick your brain into thinking that happiness is a state of mind with one single gesture: a smile.” The metaphor is obvious: looking at things from a different “altitude” can make us perceive the world in a different way. It may take lots of practice, but once you get good at it, you’ll realise that happiness is a state of mind that sometimes relies on you changing perspective. RELATED: When Life Gives You Lemons, Try Lemonading! 5. Find and give support Isolation and loneliness are all around us and can make us feel miserable, even when we have reasons to be joyful. We may not feel like socialising when we feel down, but don’t shut the doors to those who care about you. Improving the quality of our interactions with others is a crucial step if you want to truly experience how happiness is a state of mind. Sharing feelings can help us to build stronger bonds, feel supported, and create positive feedback loops in yourself and others. Why not plan exercise sessions with friends, or take up a new hobby together? 6. Do a kind act every day A few months ago, a friend of mine was going through a difficult situation, but she didn’t want the circumstances to take over her life. She decided to go out every Tuesday and do something kind for others, even though she didn’t feel like leaving the house. RELATED: Random acts of kindness – 22 ideas to spread happiness She’s since become known as “Happy Tuesday lady”, and needless to say, her mental health has improved massively! And no wonder. Science shows that the power of kindness is real – being nice is proven to boost your mood, lower stress and reduce anxiety, among other benefits. Showing kindness boosts happiness levels 7. Find meaning and purpose Many people go through life doing what they’re think they're supposed to be doing. But do the things you do bring you a sense of meaning or purpose? If not, you’re missing out on the path to happiness. RELATED: Power of Purpose – Rediscover Your True Role in Life One of the biggest joys in life is exploring and discovering what we’re here for and what we can contribute to the world – or at least, to those around us. Discovering how to find meaning in life will put you in a happy state of mind for sure. 8. Cut down sources of unhappiness A happy state of mind is something that must be nourished through happy habits, and spending too much time on social media is not on that list! For many people, social networks are a source of unhappiness and insecurity and can contribute to feelings of depression. In fact, research shows that the constant need to compare our lives to other peoples’ lives creates a deep sense of dissatisfaction and makes us lose track of the blessings we already have. The Takeaway: Happiness Is A State Of Mind I won’t deny it: life's not easy and sometimes it’s plain challenging and frustrating. The work towards choosing happy is constant. It won’t happen overnight and you should be ready to fight setbacks. Facing obstacles along the way doesn’t mean there’s no hope or you’re losing the battle. Even in tough times, you can build the resources you need to experience that happiness is a state of mind. Like writer and personal development expert Dale Carnegie said, “it isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy, it's what you think about it.” ● Images shutterstock/Rido, shutterstock/Dmytro Zinkevych happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Resilience | Nature | Meditation | Self care | Kindness Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Do you believe money doesn't buy happiness? Well, think again. Research suggests that more cash can improve well-being, but as Dee Marques finds out, it’s how you spend money that affects well-being. Read on to discover the 3 ways you can use money to buy happiness. 'Money can't buy happiness'. Just how many times have you heard that in your life? This saying reflects the generally accepted belief that happiness is a mindset that cannot be changed by how much—or how little—cash we have. But, sometimes—especially when going through financial difficulties—we may have felt feel that money and happiness are connected in some way. Indeed, at some point or another, we've all thought that we'd be better off with some extra cash in our pocket. When money’s tight, it's only natural to think that having a little more of it would make us feel better, less stressed about the future, and happier overall. Indeed, the link between mental health issues such as depression and anxiety and financial problems is well documented. “Studies have shown for decades that financial concerns are one of the leading causes of stress in our country,” says Ashley Agnew, director of financial wellness at Centerpoint Advisors in Massachusetts, USA. I've certainly had many sleepless nights worrying about how I'm going to handle incoming bills, growing debts, and securing an income as I grow older. These money worries have often lead to insomnia, poor sleep quality, and a deterioration in mental health. I'm sure this is something you can also probably relate too. Take note: money can't buy happiness (but it can buy cool shirts) So, if lack of cash can cause mental health problems, then why can't money buy happiness for us? Let’s take a mode detailed look at the research surrounding this long-standing debate. Can Money Buy Happiness? Here's What Science Says According to a report by The Psychological Society, money problems rank eighth in a list of the top 18 most common causes of stress in the United Kingdom. Similar findings have been reported in many other countries, including the United States, Australia, and Hong Kong. On the other hand, financial well-being is one of the main factors contributing to quality of life and overall happiness, so the concept of 'financial wellness' is definitely important when looking at why money can or can’t buy happiness. Financial wellness is defined as having enough money so that we don't have to worry about it or let it interfere with our relationships, health, and future plans. So, it would seem that the answer to ‘can money buy happiness?’ is yes—at some level—as long as you have enough of it. But how much is enough, and can financial wellness be quantified? “The link between financial problems and poor mental health is well documented. So, if that’s the case, why can't money buy happiness?” According to Nobel Prize winner and economist Angus Deaton, the benchmark—within the USA—can be established at $75,000 per year. In his research, Deaton found that below that amount, stress and negative emotions were reported more frequently. Of course, due to varying incomes around the world, that's not a fixed global figure, as it seems to vary from country to country. For example, studies have found that the amount needed for happiness was set much higher in Australia and New Zealand, but significantly lower in Latin America. Money Can't Buy Happiness: a Matter of Priorities Although the exact ‘price of happiness’ varies, most studies trying to answer the question ‘can money buy happiness?’ agree on one thing: once our basic needs are meet, the positive effects of money become less important when weighed against the negative aspects. RELATED: The 3 Things That Make People Happy During Economic Hardship Of course, having enough money can reduce financial anxiety, but researchers have also found that people don't feel happier once they earn over the threshold figure discussed. In fact, researchers from Purdue University and the University of Virginia suggest that—in the US—making more than $95,000 a year is actually linked to lower life satisfaction. The authors suggest this is because as people earn more money, they develop more materialistic goals and then feel the need to keep up with appearances—and that of their colleagues/friends. Maintaining this costly lifestyle makes it easier to fall into a spiral of dissatisfaction (known as the hedonic treadmill). A job promotion may mean a raise, but also more stress Furthermore, often money can’t buy happiness because earning more cash often equates with greater job responsibilities and therefore a reduced work-life balance. Indeed, bagging that promotion and connected salary increase could result in you working longer hours, having larger, more stressful responsibilities, and being chained to your desk for longer—all resulting in less quality time with family and friends (which is one of the essential 10 keys to happiness). So, the important thing here we can learn here is to be aware of the fine line between having enough and overconsumption, which can never be satisfied, and eventually will make us unhappy. The 3 Ways in Which Money Can Buy Happiness So, all the science points to the idea that having more money than we need won't necessarily make us happier. However, research also shows that if we use money on experiences and meaningful things it can boost our well-being. Indeed, science shows that when it comes to money and happiness, is not about how much money you have, but about how you spend it. An important part of finding balance between money and happiness entails using cash in a way that provides lasting satisfaction. For example, going on a shopping spree will only offer short-lived excitement, but investing in experiences can create the kind of memories—and joy—that last for ever. So, here are the three ways in which money can buy happiness: 1. Being Altruistic Studies show a strong connection between altruism and happiness. Some of the world's wealthiest people, like Bill Gates and Warren Buffett, donate most of their wealth, because that action helps them to find meaning in life. Being altruistic with money is a win-win situation However, you don't need to be a tech billionaire to experience this: you can carry out small acts of kindness that involve minimal amounts of money, for example, giving some small change to a homeless person, setting up a monthly direct debit to your preferred charity, or sponsoring a friend that's raising cash for a good cause. RELATED: Random Acts of Kindness: 22 Ways to Spread Happiness Being altruistic in this way boosts your well-being, and the benefits of kindness are many and proven. 2. Buying Yourself Time Time is one thing I'm sure we'd all agree we would love more of. There just never seems to be enough time in a day to get things done; work, admin, home cleaning, family/child care, going to the gym/pool, etc. Money can buy happiness if you are using it to buy yourself extra time, enabling you to have more time to do things that really make you happy. So, if household chores take up too much of your time and if you can afford it, hire a cleaner. If doing your taxes or managing your company's finances takes you hours, let an accountant do it and free up your schedule. If you and your partner are always exhausted because of your children, spending a little on a babysitter once a week can buy you precious time to yourselves. “Money can buy happiness if you are using it to buy yourself extra time, enabling you to have more time to do things that really make you happy.” And you don’t have to be wealthy to benefit from any of these suggestions. A University of British Columbia, Canada, study of 6,000 people in the US, Canada and Netherlands showed that those who spent money on time-saving tasks reported higher life satisfaction, regardless of their income bracket. RELATED Spending Money: How to Buy Yourself a Happier Life The research, published in the journal, Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, showed that individuals reported greater happiness if they used $40 to save time—such as by paying for chores to be done—rather than spending the money on material goods. “In a series of surveys we find that people who spend money to buy themselves more free time are happier–that is they have higher life satisfaction,” said Dr Elizabeth Dunn, a psychologist professor at the University of British Columbia. 3. Investing in Experiences Material possessions still have a high place in many cultures, especially in Western society. But ‘stuff’ gets broken, lost or loses it appeal after time. In fact, it’s proven that a non-materialistic approach to life is one step to boosting happiness levels. On the other hand, experiences create memories that will always stay with you. You can travel, take a cooking course, find a hobby you're passionate about, or simply be a tourist in your own town. Whatever brings joy to your heart, do it. Spending money on experiences can buy happiness because we can also connect it to our passion. For example, if you're into music, treating yourself and a pal to go watch your favorite artist in concert. Furthermore, new experiences can often open our mind, introduce us to new perspectives, and offer up the chance to experience awe—another happiness builder. Take off: money spent on experiences, such as travel, boosts well-being Happiness and Money: Wealth Affects Our Perception The last thing to consider when examining why money can or can't buy happiness is that happiness means different things to different people, so it's important to think about what makes you happy. Studies show that happiness is a complex emotion that can be experienced as a result of other positive feelings. For example, a 2018 study from the University of California and published in the journal Emotion, wealthy people tend to associate happiness with pride, a sense of achievement, and feeling accomplished. “People who make more money were more likely to experience happiness derived from their own accomplishments,” said lead author Paul Piff. Conversely, less well-off people are more likely to experience happiness in connection with emotions like compassion and love. “Often money can’t buy happiness because earning more of it often equates with greater job responsibilities and a lower work-life balance.” So, whatever happiness means to you, don't be afraid of making changes to find it, even if they seem scary at first. To some people, finding happiness could mean quitting high-paying corporate jobs to follow their calling. To others, it may mean taking up a less demanding job or arranging to work from home a few days per week, even if that means earning less. The Takeaway: Money Can't Buy Happiness Summing up it seems clear that there's a connection between money and happiness and between happiness and income, but it's not always a cause-effect situation. Although money matters, it’s far from being the only factor contributing to happiness. Indeed, when trying to answer the question ‘why can't money buy happiness?’, it’s useful to rethink our perception of well-being, avoiding comparisons with others, and trying to find out what happiness means to us at an individual level. Moreover, in our pursuit of happiness, it makes sense to focus on meeting our needs and creating a vault of experiences and memories, rather than a life full of material possessions, without forgetting to be appreciative and grateful for what we already have. So, it's clear that money can't buy happiness, except when you spend your cash in the specific ways of altruism, buying time, and experiences. Happy spending! ● Images: shutterstock with Muh.Imron, Shakirov Albert, Alex From the Rock and unsplash happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Freedom | Charity | Global Income Distribution Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

The growing scientific interest and use of psychedelics in treating mental health issues is testament to their possible benefits. Psychologist Stanislava Puač J. explains why psychedelic integration via a coach or therapist should be an essential part of the journey. The use of psychedelic substances is one of those topics that few people are neutral about. Depending on the culture, context, and personal upbringing, these substances are either seen as gateways to deeper insight – or as a doorway to doom. The proponents argue that psychedelic experiences bring forth insights, emotional breakthroughs, or even profound spiritual awakenings. However, speaking from the perspective of psychology and psychiatry, the actual self-development work may only begin after the experience. This is where proper psychedelic integration comes in – a process that helps individuals weave newfound awareness into the fabric of their everyday lives. While psychedelic integration is gaining visibility in mental health, it is essential to acknowledge that the use of psychedelic substances remains legally restricted in many countries. In discussing the use of psychedelics we are not promoting or encouraging the use of such substances. Instead, we are investigating the integration of psychedelic experiences for those who have already had them — whether through legal therapeutic programs, clinical trials, or culturally sanctioned practices. Let’s dive into the world of post-journey transformation and explore the intricacies of making sense of altered states of consciousness. What Is Psychedelic Integration? Psychedelic integration is the process of understanding and assimilating the insights, emotions, and revelations that emerge during a psychedelic journey. It’s about finding a place for those extraordinary experiences in your life and your perception of the world. Psychedelic integration involves assimilating the insights that emerge from a psychedelic journey Additionally, it is more than just reflection. When you undergo psychedelic integration therapy, you embark on a guided journey of: processing your emotions making behavioural changes using your insights for therapeutic growth In recent years, psychedelic integration therapy has gained recognition as an essential part of the healing journey. Even more so, psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy (“professionally supervised use of ketamine, MDMA, psilocybin, LSD, and ibogaine as part of elaborated psychotherapy programs”) is considered a paradigm shift that might assist diagnostics and therapy of even “treatment-resistant” conditions. Psychedelic integration therapy is an essential aspect of these approaches. “Psychedelic integration is the process of understanding and assimilating the insights, emotions, and revelations that emerge during a psychedelic journey.” However, the idea of psychedelic integration is not new. For longer than we remember, indigenous traditions and shamanic cultures have emphasized post-ceremony rituals. The lessons believed to be received during altered states were placed within a broader life narrative with the help of a shaman (which, in the modern Western world, would be a psychedelic integration coach). In many Amazonian cultures, for instance, ayahuasca ceremonies are followed by periods of rest, reflection, and special regimes. RELATED: What is a Shaman and What Does a Shaman Do? What is Soul Loss and Retrieval? Healing Through a Shamanic Lens Exploring Shamanic Healing: What to Expect Today, a psychedelic integration coach and therapist draws from similar principles. The integration process itself can take many forms, depending on the nature of the experience and the individual’s specific needs. This brings us to the different types of psychedelic integration. Types of Psychedelic Integration The process of psychedelic integration should always be highly individualized. Yet, it usually incorporates three main dimensions: physical/somatic, psycho-spiritual, and emotional: 1. Physical or Somatic Integration The body often carries residue from psychedelic experiences. Some people find that the body “remembers” more than the mind, especially when they are new to psychedelic experiences. For this reason, somatic (or physical) integrations are essential. Bodywork, yoga, breathwork, or movement practices can all be used to release tension or even traumatic memories brought forth during the psychedelic journey. Another part of the mix is paying attention to sleep, nutrition, and rest. 2. Psycho-Spiritual Integration Many psychedelic experiences come with ego dissolution, unity consciousness, or encounters with archetypal imagery. Such powerful and extraordinary incidents require sensitive integration, as they can be disorienting as much as they are illuminating. Psychedelic integration therapy may use frameworks such as transpersonal psychology or mindfulness practices to explore these states. The goal is for the client to develop curiosity rather than fear. A coach or therapist should be used with psychedelic integration And in spiritual integration, a psychedelic integration coach helps the individual respond to questions like: “What does this mean for how I live?” or “How does this experience reshape my beliefs?” 3. Emotional Integration One of the most commonly reported effects of psychedelic journeys is the surfacing of buried emotions. Intense grief, rage, love, or vulnerability tend to burst out, and it becomes vital to work on their integration. “One of the most commonly reported effects of psychedelic journeys is the surfacing of buried emotions. Intense grief, rage, love, or vulnerability tend to burst out, and it becomes vital to work on their integration.” Therefore, the emotional dimension of psychedelic integration is about creating space to process these feelings gently and safely. A psychedelic integration coach guides the client through naming and exploring their feelings, identifying patterns, and maintaining a sense of grounding. Some of the techniques used are journaling or creative expression. Why Is Psychedelic Integration Important? Psychedelic integration is vital because it can mean the difference between a fragmented, overwhelming experience and one that becomes a gateway to profound growth. As authors who give practical guidelines on psychedelic integration for mental health specialists argue, psychedelic experiences might be translated as “mind-manifesting experiences”. In other words, the term “refers to the phenomenon of pulling the unconscious material to the conscious surface, allowing it to be accessed and processed”. Psilocybin, found in mushrooms, is a popular psychedelic Therefore, given the depth and intensity of what may emerge – unconscious material appearing in symbolic, emotional, or sensory form – psychedelic integration becomes essential. It is what transforms the experience into a healing one: It helps insights take root and transform one’s psyche. Psychedelic experience therapy helps work through emotional overwhelm, unsettling visions, or unresolved questions. A psychedelic integration coach or therapist provides compassion and structure so that a psychedelic journey can become restorative. It is a vital factor in extending the insights into everyday behaviour, relationships, and a sense of purpose. Without all of this, a psychedelic journey might remain a disconnected and confusing memory. How Long Does Psychedelic Integration Take? Once again, as with any growth process, there is no fixed timeline for psychedelic integration. It can unfold over weeks, months, or even years. Therefore, you’d do best not to be set on any specific “deadline”. You may require ongoing work with a coach or therapist to integrate the insights you received fully. A single session of psychedelic therapy may start a ripple effect that will put everything in its place over time. Or, you may find clarity within days as you experience an “A-ha!” moment explaining the meaning behind your experience. These differences are why you need the help of a psychedelic integration coach. They will help set a pace and guide you through the process. Initially, you may need to focus on grounding techniques and establishing emotional safety. Later, you may be ready for more in-depth work, such as identity shifts, making life changes, or exploring spiritual meaning. “Psychedelic integration is vital because it can mean the difference between a fragmented, overwhelming experience and one that becomes a gateway to profound growth.” Similar to mainstream psychotherapy (especially depth psychotherapies), not everything you will go through during the psychedelic integration will feel comfortable. Integrating these new insights and emotions might require you to grieve old patterns, let go of narratives, or make difficult decisions. Be self-compassionate and take as much time as you need. Where Can I Find a Psychedelic Integration Coach? As psychedelic-assisted therapies begin to enter the mainstream mental health field in some parts of the world, more professionals are receiving training in guiding the integration process. RELATED: What is the Peyote Cactus and Is it Legal? Microdosing 101: A Modern Phenomenon Rooted in Ancient Times Given the delicacy of the process, when seeking a psychedelic integration coach or therapist, look for individuals with a license in mental health, trauma-informed care, or spiritual counselling. The person serving as a guide on this path must have training in ethical support practices because integration often brings up vulnerable material that needs to be held safely and ethically. Principal qualities to look for include: Certification in relevant coaching or therapeutic fields Familiarity with psychoactive substances and their psychological effects A non-judgmental attitude towards non-ordinary experiences A grounding presence that helps you feel safe and supported In addition to these qualities, it would be ideal for the coach or therapist to view integration as a process of co-creation and cooperation. They should be the guide, but not dictate the process, as psychedelic insights are non-linear—and your post-experience growth should be the same. Takeaway: Psychedelic Integration Psychedelic integration is the vital piece in the transformation puzzle. Think about it not as a luxury or a bonus part of the psychedelic experience. It is a necessary continuation of the journey. Traditionally, shamans were the guides. Nowadays, more and more mental health professionals are becoming interested and trained in supporting psychedelic integration. However, from ancient times to the present, the message remains consistent: the experience is just the beginning. Actual change occurs when you walk the path after the vision fades. ● Images: shutterstock/agsandrew, shutterstock/Rumka vodki, shutterstock/Rooom27 happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum Authenticity | Empathy | Communication skills | Balancing Chakras Written by Stanislava Puač J. Stanislava Puač J. is a psychologist, life coach, and writer with over 15 years of experience exploring how our inner world shapes our interactions, health, and sense of self. Her work blends research, real-life practice, and a holistic view of well-being – spanning emotional regulation, communication, and mindfulness.

Most of us have probably asked ourselves 'what is the point of life'? Indeed, sometimes our time on Earth can seem futile. However, Dee Marques argues that finding meaning in your existence is key, and explores the 3 essential questions you should ask yourself to help find it. There comes a point in our lives where, no matter how successful we think we are, we’re bound to question why we’re here, what we're doing, and where we’re going. Sometimes, posing these questions can help us evaluate our goals and lifestyle and improve them for better physical and mental health. In other cases – perhaps when we're feeling low or vulnerable – wondering what the point of life is can amplify feelings of depression, anxiety and emptiness. As humans, we’re unique in the animal kingdom; among many other reasons because of our quest for finding fulfilment and happiness in life. We aim to do more than eat, sleep, reproduce, and stay safe. This quest for meaning has characterised humans since the beginning of times and it’s a central question in every culture. And, according to scientists, the search for meaning seems to be coded into our nature: our brains are larger and with this comes the ability to appreciate things beyond meeting our basic needs. MORE LIKE THIS: Feeling Defeated By Life? Here's How To Take Back Power Why Do I Hate My Life? 10 Ways to Start Loving It Again Feeling Lost in Life? Move On In 7 Steps And we can do more than appreciate the positive and joyful aspects of life. Trying to find meaning in negative experiences is also an ability that’s unique to humans, and that’s precisely what leads us to ask, 'what is the point of life'. So, how can we go about finding an answer? Let’s look at some practical ideas. What's the point of life? What if the purpose of life is finding a way to forget about the question 'what Is the point of life? Maybe there’s no single thing that brings meaning per se, but the journey itself may be what helps us find purpose. And when we talk about the journey, we mean every aspect of it, from savouring the pleasant experiences to learning from mistakes. Feel life is pointless? It's essential to find meaning and purpose But for the journey to be meaningful, it must be the result of your own choices. Some people try to find meaning in wealth and fame, but this doesn’t have to be your story. As a living being, you’re in a unique position to decide what your purpose should be. We didn’t choose to be born, but we can choose how to live our lives and how to enjoy it. “What if the purpose of life is finding a way to forget about the question 'what is the point of life?'” To do that, it helps focusing on being consciously grounded in the present. Practising mindfulness creates a greater awareness of what it means to be alive. It helps your mind get more in touch with your emotions, reactions, and with your five senses. This type of clarity can open your eyes to things or experiences that help you to live your life with purpose. And mindfulness is not the only thing that can bring us clarity: there are some questions you can ask yourself to inspire your search for purpose. The 3 questions to help you find meaning The quest for meaning in life is so vast that the very thought of getting started can make you feel overwhelmed. Discovering what the point of life is remains a lifelong journey, and the steps and stages won’t be the same for everyone. However, there are three key questions that can put you on the right track to begin the journey of discovery: 1. What would you like to be remembered for? As humans, we tend to focus on the present and the future. If you examine your ambitions, you may find that they’re limited to what you want to achieve this year, next year, on in the next decade. But have you thought about what you’d want to be remembered for? MORE LIKE THIS: How to Find Yourself Again: 10 Steps in Creating Clarity Bored With Life? Here Are 8 Ways to Shake Things Up When Life Gives You Lemons, Try Lemonading The answer to this question is usually related to career or spiritual goals rather than material ones, and thinking about it can help bring into focus the true essence of your being. If you're feeling lost in life, writing your obituary can be a great exercise in confirming what you'd like to be remembered for. 2. If you had super-powers, which problem would you solve first? There’s no shortage of serious problems in the world, and while it’s not always in our hands to single-handedly solve them, thinking about which problem you’d give priority can hint at where your main concerns are. Once you know that, you can start looking for ways of doing your part. For example, if you find that you’d want to end world hunger, you may want to spend some time volunteering at a soup kitchen, or creating a community food garden. 3. What’s the one activity that makes you lose track of time? We all know that time drags when we’re doing something we dislike. But the opposite is also true: there are some activities that make time fly because they get our full attention and bring us a sense of fulfilment. Losing track of time when doing something is known as finding your flow, and it's a clear sign that the activity taps into the things that make us come alive. So, spending more time in those activities can help you enjoy a more meaningful life. RELATED: 7 Ways Spiritual Coaching Could Transform Your Life These thee questions are a great starting point if you are feeling the pointlessness of life. Our guide to searching for meaning in life has even more suggestions to guide you to clarity in what brings What is the point of life? Being enough There’s no doubt that knowing what your purpose in life is can bring you closer to happiness. But if you’ve been trying to find out what your life role is and haven't found an answer, don’t torture yourself. People’s experiences are different and not everyone will find the right answer at the same time. Gratitude: having enough can be enough What’s more, rushing into finding an answer will only put you under pressure and cause stress. Instead, try to see it from a different perspective: if you haven’t found an answer yet, simply “being” should be enough for now. Here are four suggestions on how to make that work: 1. Find abundance in having enough The powers of gratitude are proven by science. Make a list of things you already have in your life that make you feel blessed and grateful. Through mindfulness practice, you can find abundance in these things, and you may find that having enough is, well, enough! 2. Get comfortable with discomfort Life can feel like an uphill battle sometimes, and it's at those times when we might wonder what the point of life is. However, discomfort in life is unavoidable and trying to find meaning in those experiences often leads to frustration. So, try to accept life for what it is and know that the hard times won't last for ever. So called tragic optimism acknowledges adversity while holding space for hope. “Discovering what the point of life is remains a lifelong journey and the steps and stages won’t be the same for everyone.” 3. Let your intuition guide you Finding the meaning of life requires some analytical thinking, but sometimes logical reasoning doesn’t have all the answers. The key is to balance rational thoughts with intuition, which sometimes will contradict all logical arguments. Listen and trust that inner voice because it usually knows what’s good and right for you. 4. Forget what others think or are doing Some people seem to have their life’s purpose figured out, but comparing yourself to them isn’t helpful. The point of life is to live it in your own terms and at your own pace, and that should be the main focus. For the same reason, don’t let other people’s opinions affect you when it comes to what you find meaningful or how you go about finding your ambition, role or purpose. The Takeaway: Avoiding Pointlessness in Life So, what is the point of life? If there’s one thing that holds true for most of us, it's that the point of life is to live and experience things to the fullest, whatever that “fullest” means for you right now. Don’t rush your quest for meaning. Instead, make a point of finding joy in what you already have and try your best to feel grounded in the present. At some point, you’ll find the answer you’re looking for, and in the meantime, enjoy the journey! • Main image: shutterstock/Song_about_summer, shutterstock/WAYHOME studio Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Sometimes the obstacles we face in life paralyze us, leaving us trapped. Stanislava Puač J. shares 8 tips on overcoming challenges and restarting our lives. Even though many of us hope for a carefree life, it just will not happen. Challenges will always be on our path. Sometimes, it may seem as if the walls ahead are simply too high to surmount. Yet, overcoming challenges is a part of how we learn and grow. Indeed, obstacles give us an opportunity to become the best versions of ourselves. History is filled with examples of people who learned how to trounce impediments and develop psychologically from the process. Take Demosthenes, for example. He is now recognised as the greatest of ancient Greek orators. Nonetheless, when he was young, he had a severe speech impediment. He overcame this barrier through a self-designed, disciplined practice. Einstein is another famous example of how overcoming obstacles can result in greatness. Apart from not speaking until he was three, he constantly faced doubt and under-appreciation by adults throughout his childhood and youth. Still, he found a way to develop his talents and become one of the most recognised names in human history. In this article I'll explain how you can perceive overcoming challenges as a means of psychological growth. I'll explain why we need to fight the obstacles we face — and why we need to do it adaptively. Finally, I'll give you eight science-based tips for overcoming obstacles in a way that helps you grow and become braver and more confident. Why you need to overcome obstacles The examples from the introduction illustrate something that is called overcompensation in psychology. When we have an actual or perceived deficit of a sort, we will usually try to offset it by developing it into a particular forte. This strong point will then serve as a counterweight to the shortfall. Overcompensation means going above and beyond what is necessary. Demosthenes could have merely fixed the speech impediment and lived an average life. But no. He became the greatest orator. Dismantling self-doubt is a key step in overcoming challenges Examples of overcompensation reveal how overcoming challenges opens the path to psychological growth in life. Albeit going that far is not necessary for every obstacle we face, we must say that avoidance is usually unhealthy. When we face hurdles, we are presented with a choice. We can either commit to overcoming challenges — or to failing or stagnating. Here’s why. When you avoid dealing with difficulties you risk experiencing a range of adverse emotions. Some of the most common ones are anger (for your aspirations remaining unfulfilled), guilt (because you know that you did not try hard enough), or envy (when you witness others getting what they want). You are also bound to become stressed because problems rarely just disappear. A 2016 study from the University of Amsterdam found that avoidance of difficulties leads to a diminishing sense of control. In turn, psychological well-being and mental health declines as rumination takes over. “When you avoid dealing with difficulties you risk experiencing a range of adverse emotions, such as anger, guilt or envy.” Self-doubt, anxiety and depression could come as a result of continual failure to achieve goals. Even though it might feel good to rationalise the reasons why you did not realise your dreams at first, empirical findings reveal that this defence mechanism is associated with emotional disorders. Therefore, even though overcoming challenges may feel scary at times, it is vital for your well-being. As you progress through hurdles on your path towards attaining goals, you are simultaneously growing as a person. You develop self-confidence, learn to move beyond self-indulgence, and develop adaptive responses to whatever life throws your way. Overcoming challenges: 8 tips How we respond to complications is highly individualised. It could be affected by our past experiences, mental habits, as well as our personalities. Seeking and overcoming challenges seems embedded in some people’s temperament and personality structure. Nonetheless, whether we are naturally geared towards adventure or not, we will hit an impediment here and there. Overcoming obstacles will be easier if you incorporate some of the following tips on productive coping with challenges. 1. Analyse the problem well It may seem obvious, but the first step to overcoming challenges without difficulty is understanding the problem ahead. Still, many of us fail to approach the issue analytically. You may be amazed by how often we succumb to apprehension, avoidance — or daydreaming and unsubstantiated optimism, on the other hand — instead of scrutinising the problem critically. Therefore, examine where the problem truly lies. Is it a real or perceived obstacle? Which aspect is the most important one? In what order do you need to tackle the elements of the difficulty? What is it that you can and cannot impact? What resources do you need — new knowledge and skills, others’ help, time, or determination? 2. Consider it an opportunity, not a threat A common obstacle to successfully overcoming challenges is our mindset. I will be the first to admit that I'm not the type of person who goes about looking for challenges and adventures. Even more concretely, I used to feel threatened by any new and tricky situation. Still, what I found very useful is changing my perspective. What may not come naturally to you could be developed through practice. RELATED: Tragic Optimism: An Antidote to Toxic Positivity Those who enjoy challenges — and thrive facing hitches — see every obstacle as an opportunity to become greater, better, different. You, too, can train your mind to think of hindrances as a chance to learn something new and evolve rather than to suffer. 3. Examine and dismantle your self-doubts Overcoming obstacles is often made more difficult by your own unhelpful thoughts, especially if you're used to avoiding facing challenges. When you look at your records and see but a few instances in which you fought a problem head-on, it's easy to succumb to self-doubt. Doubting your abilities, or even loathing yourself for lack thereof, will get you nowhere. What you need to do is to examine and knock down your lack of faith in your skills. Where does it come from? What thought comes to your mind when you anticipate trouble? How does it make you feel? How realistic is such a belief? Could you think about the situation differently (hint — yes, you could)? Support from friends is a key factor in overcoming obstacles 4. Keep a record of your past successes One helpful way to deal with self-doubt more effectively is to document one’s successes. Studies show that many people tend to overestimate their shortcomings. At the same time, they underestimate how well they can address problems. As a result, their self-perception gets distorted, making them blind to their abilities. Make a CV of your past accomplishments. Do not hold back but praise yourself for everything you have achieved so far. Remember the times when you overcame snags with triumph. What qualities did you need to mobilise to overcome challenges? Write them all down. And then, come to this “CV” whenever you feel a lack of confidence creeping on you. 5. Make a solid plan Once you are clearer on where the problem lies, what unhelpful thoughts might be hindering your success, and which talents you can rally to help you in overcoming challenges, it's time to plan how to do it. In other words, you are highly unlikely to accomplish your goals if you do not combine a belief in yourself with a solid action plan. “The first step to overcoming challenges is understanding the problem ahead. Still, many of us fail to approach the issue analytically.” Define the goal and communicate it to those who need to be involved. Make a step-by-step map of action that is clear and easy to follow. Make sure there are tangible steps and smaller objectives on the way to the final goal. Measure the results — and celebrate them, too. 6. Assemble a circle of support Overcoming obstacles is much easier when you have someone to lean on. Science has shown that social support has been confirmed to be one of the crucial factors in psychological well-being over and over again. Somehow, life problems tend to seem much bigger when you feel alone in dealing with them. RELATED: 7 Ways Spiritual Coaching Could Transform Your Life So, ask for support from the right people. Seek out those who will be supportive, accepting and realistic. Whether it's your friends and family, a support group, or a psychotherapist, an encouraging social environment can do wonders for your self-esteem. It will highlight and nurture your ability to overcome any issue ahead. A helping hand from friends is essential for overcoming challenges and difficulties 7. Meditate Meditation is a technique that can help you integrate the tips we have spoken about above. Meditative practice teaches you to calm your mind and free it from ruminative apprehensions and adverse emotions. It gives you the mental flexibility and physical tranquillity you need for overcoming obstacles with success. Finally, after meditation, you will notice greater clarity in understanding the problem ahead and how you can tackle it. 8. Pledge to self-care Let me be straight — overcoming challenges can be hard work. It's easy to disregard healthy habits when you are entangled with problems. This is why you should commit to a self-care practice and ensure you are well cared for. Broadly speaking, all the tips here can be seen as a form of self-care. When you perceive a problem rationally, address unhelpful beliefs and develop a growth mindset and self-confidence, you care for yourself. The same goes for gathering support or meditating. “Once you're clear on where the problem lies and which talents you can rally to help you in overcoming challenges, it's time to plan how to do it.” However, what we have in mind here is more specific. It's a well-known set of recommendations to make sure you do not neglect to care for your mental and physical needs. Therefore, eat healthily and regularly. Set up a better sleep routine to ensure both the quality and quantity of sleep you need. Exercise to release some of the accumulated stress. Socialise with the right people and consume quality media content. Finally, pamper yourself and treat yourself to something pleasant and healthy, like a relaxing massage. You will find your mental batteries charged as a result of such a self-care routine, and you will be much more willing to embrace the opportunity to grow from overcoming challenges. Takeaway: Embrace overcoming challenges It's perfectly natural to feel anxiety — dread, even — when facing major challenges in our life. The more important the goal, the graver the fear of not attaining it. You may even feel totally paralyzed. However, obstacles tend not to go away just because we look the other way. So, take the challenges life throws at you head-on. This will show you a doorway to an unbounded field for psychological growth. Embrace the hurdles and snags. Be courageous and believe in yourself. Even though overcoming challenges and difficulties may feel like you are in freefall at times, be at ease. There is a new 'you' that will catch you on the other side of the obstacle you're facing. • Main image: shutterstock/Maridav, shutterstock/Viktoria Kurpas, Hitdelight happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum Self-help | Authenticity | Coaching Written by Stanislava Puač J. Stanislava Puač J. is a psychologist, life coach, and writer with over 15 years of experience exploring how our inner world shapes our interactions, health, and sense of self. Her work blends research, real-life practice, and a holistic view of well-being – spanning emotional regulation, communication, and mindfulness.

Energy vampires drain your emotional reserves and disrupt your mental peace. Sonia Vadlamani explains how to identify these emotionally taxing individuals and offers practical ways to protect your energy. Sometimes, spending time with certain people can leave you feeling completely exhausted – like you’ve just run a marathon. That heavy, worn-out feeling you carry after meeting someone may not be just your imagination. Chances are, you encountered an energy vampire. What is an energy vampire? Energy vampires are people who suck the energy from you – in one-on-one conversation or in social situations – leaving you emotionally depleted. While this isn’t always intentional, they tend to exploit your inclination to listen and care, taking far more from you than they can give in return. Recognizing emotional vampires and protecting yourself from their influence is essential to maintaining emotional and mental well-being. Energy suckers: energy vampires leave you drained How can you tell if someone is an emotional vampire? Identifying an energy vampire often starts with a gut feeling. When trying to recognize one, pay close attention to how you feel during and after interacting with them. Look for the subtle cues – if a simple conversation leaves you emotionally exhausted or you find yourself strategically avoiding someone so you can preserve your energy, those are both signs of an energy vampire. “Energy vampires are people who suck the energy from you – in one-on-one conversation or in social situations – leaving you emotionally depleted” Energy vampires can be deceptively friendly and charming, and you may not be able to pinpoint why interactions with them seem to deplete you emotionally. You may find yourself dreading a chance encounter or dodging events just to avoid them, and the inexplicable fear of encountering them is your emotional radar warning you to steer clear of their toxic influence. Signs you are being affected by an energy vampire Identifying an emotional energy drainer can be tricky at first, but being aware of a shift in your feelings and patterns can help. Some warning signs can include: Feeling anxious and inexplicable dread over the prospect of meeting someone Abrupt mood fluctuations and sudden irritability Avoiding activities and hobbies that you typically enjoy Making incessant excuses to get out of social situations and declining invitations frequently Feeling nervous or walking on eggshells while around them How do I protect myself from energy vampires? Identifying the emotional vampires around you is the first step toward shielding yourself from them. Here are a few ways to safeguard your emotional reserves: 1. Learn to say NO Saying “no” isn’t rude or alienating – it’s often a form of radical self-care. In fact, we often overestimate the ramifications of declining an invite, according to a 2023 report published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. According to Dr. Julian Givi, co-author of the study and a consumer behavior expert: “Saying no to invitations is an important, but challenging, aspect of people’s social lives. People are busy, and social commitments can be burdensome – especially when they involve those who are draining to be around. “Our research demonstrates that people overestimate the negative consequences of declining invitations – such as upsetting or angering the inviter – suggesting that we should not stress as much as we do about telling others no, including when invitations stem from energy vampires.” So, protecting your energy is a valid reason to promptly decline invitations that don’t align with your energy, even if it involves people you care about. 2. Set firm boundaries Another effective way to avoid energy-draining vampires is to limit your interactions with them – or to avoid engaging them altogether. Boundaries are a crucial aspect of self-compassion, as suggested by a 2020 study published in Journal of Psychological Research. Set clear, uncompromising boundaries with those who emotionally deplete you, and communicate them assertively so you can avoid resentment and bitterness later. Set boundaries: just say no to emotional vampires 3. Stay grounded in your values Being authentic and staying true to your values can be an effective shield against energy vampires, since your strong sense of self and clear boundaries make you less susceptible to emotional manipulation. Dr. James Huysman, mental health expert and founder of Star Network Foundation, told us: “[Our] values and finding our happiness through our ‘recovery to find our authentic selves’ are a garlic and crucifix for the energy vampire.” 4. Plan for downtime Sometimes, it doesn't seem possible to entirely avoid the presence of an energy vampire – maybe they’re a coworker, a family member, or part of your extended social circle. The key here is to prepare yourself for the encounter and have a recovery plan ready. Plan something rejuvenating and restorative for later – it could be as simple as a long bath, connecting with a supportive friend, or cuddling with your pet while reading a book. “If a simple conversation leaves you emotionally exhausted or you find yourself strategically avoiding someone so you can preserve your energy, those are all signs of an energy vampire.” Knowing that you’re equipped with an ‘emotional reset’ – or a plan to recharge subsequently after an unavoidable engagement with an energy vampire – will help you avoid the anxiety associated with it. Are energy vampires narcissists? Energy vampires often have narcissistic traits, given that narcissists rely on others’ emotional energy to reinforce their sense of identity. Much like emotional vampires, narcissists tend to feed off the energy and emotions of others to bolster their fragile self-worth. Blame shifting, using manipulation to guilt or gaslight, constant demands for attention, and excessive negativity are some of the key characteristics that narcissists share with energy vampires. Due to their shared traits, narcissists and emotional vampires are drawn to ‘empaths’ – or individuals with a heightened ability to feel and absorb others’ emotions – making them easy targets. Am I an emotional vampire? If you find yourself wondering whether you might be emotionally exhausting to others, do know that it takes courage and self-awareness to even get there – so you’re already on the right path. Observing your communication patterns is a good starting point: do you find yourself dominating most conversations or frequently steering the conversation towards yourself? If those around you have implied that they feel used or overwhelmed after interacting with you, it’s likely that you’ve been an energy vampire. Also, reflect on how often you’re genuinely interested in others in your life – do you engage with things they discuss and follow up later, or do you only seek emotional support for yourself? If the answer to most of these queries is yes, then you might be an emotional vampire – perhaps without even realizing it. MORE LIKE THIS: When to End a Friendship and How to Do it With Kindness Positive Relational Energy: the Secret Sauce of Uplifting Human Connections How to Get Over a Friendship Breakup: 7 Steps It also helps to assess how you respond to the boundaries set by others. Ask yourself how you feel when someone is busy or unavailable. Do you respect their space, or do you feel upset or abandoned? Truthful answers to these questions can offer you valuable insight into whether you’re emotionally taxing for those around you. How to stop being an energy vampire The good news is that asking this question itself is progress, given that most energy vampires rarely recognize – or care about – the impact of their emotional draining tendency. Here are some ways to stop exhausting others emotionally: Practice mindful listening Listen actively, ask relevant questions, and remember to follow up later. This shows that you truly care. Give, don’t just receive Friendships and relationships require active reciprocity. Offer support readily when others need it. Celebrate their wins and stand by them during difficult times. Devise your own coping strategies Indeed, it’s great to feel heard and supported. However, developing emotional resilience can help you overcome challenges on your own, reducing the need for you to rely on others to resolve your issues. Respect boundaries Honoring the personal boundaries set by others is essential for healthy relationships. Believe people when they say they’re busy. Give people space when they ask for it without guilt or resentment. Takeaway: Emotional vampires All interactions are, in essence, an exchange of energy. It’s important to stay mindful and reflect on which interactions uplift you and which ones leave you emotionally drained. Surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals with a bright outlook is a foolproof way to protect your energy and keep energy vampires at bay. ● Images: shutterstock/Mortotion Films, shutterstock/Krakenimages.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Emotional intelligence | Empathy | Communication skills Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future-self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Feeling overwhelmed by modern life? Choosing to live more simply could be a good move to improve your happiness. Calvin Holbrook explores how to live a simple life and digs into the science behind the benefits it can bring, such as finding your purpose and increased focus. Since hitting my 40s, the idea of living simply appeals to me more than ever. While residing in large cities has provided plenty of opportunities for entertainment and excitement, I feel increasingly overwhelmed and anxious by excess noise, over-stimulation, distractions, and ever-increasing crowds. As a result, I find myself seeking out a quieter, more simplistic way of life – being closer to nature in a peaceful setting. While some of you may be thinking to do the same, living a simple life doesn’t have to mean shacking up alone in a log cabin in the middle of nowhere (although that actually sounds quite appealing). In fact, there are many practical and not-so-drastic ways of living simply – and the benefits of doing so are proven by science. Living simply can allow for more family quality time So-called 'simple living' or ‘voluntary simplicity' is a recognized lifestyle steeped in history; one that minimizes consumption and the pursuit of wealth and material goods. Individuals choose voluntary simplicity in order to attain a more modest and meaningful life. Many religious groups, including the monastic orders from the Middle Ages to the modern-day Amish and Quakers include simple living as an essential element of teachings. More recently, the modern simplicity movement arose from the counterculture movement in the 1960s and 1970s. Then, in 1981, this movement gained a new moniker with the release of Duane Elgin’s book Voluntary Simplicity. In it, he explained the virtues of “a way of life that is outwardly simple, inwardly rich.” During the 1990s, the concept of minimalism, which includes elements of simple living, also became popular. How Can I Live a Simple Life? While minimalism is mainly focused on reducing or giving up possessions, living a simple life includes other elements. Choosing simplification creates a life filled with meaning; a life lived on your own terms. It helps create the time and space to pursue your true interests and passions. Living simply flies in the face of the common values of the Western world. Living a simple life means stripping away the non-essential stuff to focus your time and energy on the things that matter the most to you. Is it OK to Just Live a Simple Life? If you're here reading this then you must already be curious about how to live a simple life! Conditioning by Western society often makes us believe success as being connected to wealth, possessions and achievements: all things that take effort. By the time we become adults, it can be hard to let that perception go which is one reason why you may feel hesitant about living a simple life instead. A lot of this fear is connected to the ego. “Living a simple life doesn’t just mean giving up your possessions. Choosing simplification creates a life filled with meaning, a life lived on your own terms.” By choosing to live a simple life, we reduce the nonessentials in our lives and often reduce stress and anxiety as well. We also make more intentional choices about our diet, exercise, and overall well-being. Simplicity allows us to prioritize self-care and mindfulness, which are essential for a healthy, balanced life. Living a Simple Life: 6 Key Benefits Moving to the countryside or living by the sea is a dream for myself and many others. And while the pandemic and improved technology have led to more opportunities for remote working, many of us can't simply take the leap and uproot due to family commitments. But – regardless of where you're living – there are many practical steps you can take to simplify your life and feeling the benefits. Some simple practical things you can to do start living a more simple life include: reducing possessions (have a clear out and donate) being mindful of future new purchases limiting your time on social media and smartphones switching off notifications learning to say no – stop attending events you’re indifferent about eliminating multitasking establish a daily routine appreciating nature more spend time alone with yourself Practice mindful eating Enjoy the art of simply doing nothing Doing some or all of these things can bring you great benefits and happiness. So, let’s take a more detailed look at six key benefits of how to live a simple life, backed up by science. 1. Simplify your life to learn more about yourself When you’re not distracting yourself with social media, binging Netflix, shopping for another gadget, or filling your diary with must-do events, you’re giving yourself the time and mental space to be grateful for what you already have – as well as creating the opportunity to reflect and learn more about yourself. In fact, living simply can help us find meaning and grow spiritually, as it shifts the focus away from material possessions and helps us look inwardly. It helps to create more silence – and even solitude – prime factors for spiritual reflection. RELATED: The Power of Silence: 10 Benefits of Cultivating Peace and Quiet Of course, sometimes reflecting on our lives and who we are can be as uncomfortable as it is rewarding, but ultimately it helps to focus on what gives our life purpose and meaning, and what we want to do with the rest of our lives. In turn, living a meaningful life has been to shown to increase happiness levels. 2. A simpler lifestyle can improve relationships In his essay Voluntary Simplicity: Characterization, Select Psychological Implications, and Societal Consequences, Amitai Etzioli argues that when we stop focusing our time on acquiring material possessions, we’re more likely to focus on relationships. Likewise, spending excessive time on social media or being occupied all the time can mean other relationships suffer. So, if we remove or reduce these distractors we free up more time to spend with friends and family and build meaningful connections – one of the 10 keys to happiness. Modest living focuses you on what really matters in life Additionally, developing a more simple way of life may mean editing your friendship group. Perhaps you have lots of different friends that you spend time doing different actives with, for example, the 'party' friend, the 'shopping' friend, the 'gym buddy'. By simplifying your life and doing less, it could mean shifting your focus to having fewer, higher-quality friendships and closer relationships. The interaction between you may also be more sincere, as you will be free of the need to impress. RELATED: Why Friendship Goals Matter and How to Achieve Them How to Get Over a Friendship Breakup: 7 Steps When to End a Friendship and How to Do it With Kindness In turn, there are health benefits attached to simplifying your friendships. Various studies have found that developing strong, solid friendships can reduce your illness risk – from being less likely to get a common cold to having a lower risk of developing obesity or heart disease. A 2017 Harvard study also found that keeping close friends could promote brain health as we grow older. 3. Simple living boosts your bank balance In many developed countries, the disparity between what we buy and what we need leads to overconsumption. This both drains the Earth’s resources and accelerates climate change. Voluntary simplicity is a lifestyle choice that minimizes consumption and the pursuit of wealth and material goods. Simplifying your life by reducing consumption means you will spend – and potentially owe – less. The benefits of financial independence can include less stress and worry, and consequently better sleep. Indeed, according to a UK study from 2018, money worries are a huge issue, affecting 40 per cent of the population. To limit your consumption, firstly, take time to look at your outgoings and consider what you need to spend your cash on. Those daily takeaway coffees? Upgrades to the latest iPhone or Samsung? Netflix and apps subscriptions? That gym membership you hardly ever use? ““Living simply can help us find meaning and grow spiritually, as it shifts the focus away from material possessions and helps us to look inwardly.” There are so many chances to minimize spending, so cancel what you don’t need and change your habits. Additionally, you may be being charged for subscriptions for things you’ve totally forgotten about, so take some step to go through your bank statements and check what's going out every month. Secondly, aim to eliminate any existing debt you have and simply live within your means. Stop using credit cards and, instead, develop a monthly budget. Thirdly, if you’ve decided to simplify your belongings, make yourself some extra money by selling unwanted stuff on eBay, or simply donating things to charity. What's more, if you decide to simplify your social life to focus on things such as reconnecting with nature, walking, meditation, etc, this will also benefit your bank balance – because most of these things are free. 4. Living simply is great for your health Living a simplistic lifestyle can also be beneficial to your physical and mental health. A 2014 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found a link between materialism and poor physical health. The team, from Knox College, Illinois, also found an even stronger link between materialism and engagement in risky behaviors that could damage physical health, such as drinking alcohol, smoking and drug use. So, it follows that the reverse – having a non-materialistic attitude – could be positive for health. RELATED: Being Teetotal: 9 Benefits of Living Alcohol-Free This theory was backed up in an unpublished survey from the University of the Sciences in Pennsylvania. It found that 90 per cent of people who identified as coming from the simple living movement reported improved physical health after choosing to make a change to earn less money. Almost as many respondents also claimed that their mental health also improved. Simple living means less stress and increased rest The reasons for this could be due to the fact that developing a more simplistic lifestyle often means less stress and increased rest. This benefits could come from spending more time with friends/family, getting more physical activity, and changing jobs to find something more fulfilling and less money-orientated. MORE LIKE THIS: Gazing at the Stars: Replacing Worries With Wonder Living on a Houseboat Wild Swimming: Health Benefits of Open Water Additionally, voluntary simplifiers often make a move away from big urban hubs to the countryside or seaside, which also has potential health benefits. A 2012 study from the University of Exeter showed that coastal populations in the UK are healthier than those inland, believed to be party due to the stress relief of living by the sea and greater opportunities for physical activity. The coast also offers cleaner, healthier air, which helps to promote better sleep (also essential for good mental health). 5. Simplistic living means increased focus Reducing possessions and commitments correlates to a reduction in distractions and therefore less physical – and mental – clutter. As you simplify your life and remove distractions, you create space to breathe and focus more carefully on what remains. In fact, the physical reduction of clutter in your home has been proven to boost concentration. Researchers at the Princeton University Neuroscience Institute studied the effects of clutter and published the results in the Journal of Neuroscience. They concluded that clearing clutter from your home and work environments increased the ability to focus and process information effectively. Their research also showed that an uncluttered space led to people feeling less irritable, more productive and less distracted. “How to live a simple life? It means stripping away the non-essential stuff to focus your time and energy on the things that matter the most to you.” Simplifying your life by focusing on one task at a time, rather than multitasking, can also boost concentration. Multitasking used to be championed as effective, but Psychology Today reports that in reality it can decrease productivity levels by up to 40 per cent. Many of us are constantly switched on to multiple technologies: on average, we check our mobile phones every 12 minutes, causing further distractions and interruptions which affect our ability to concentrate. Choose to simplify life and learn how to avoid distractions by limiting these interruptions: remove or reduce social media usage and switch off annoying pop-up notifications. 6. Living a simple life helps the environment While the benefits of living simply described here are clear for the individual, the wider environment also benefits. It’s been previously suggested that if everyone on Earth consumed as much as the average US citizen, four Earths would be needed to sustain the population. So, consuming less and having fewer possessions decreases the amount of waste a person produces. In fact, there are many practical ways you can change you habits to live more simply and help the environment. Buying less clothes is a great place to start. Thanks to fast fashion, the textile industry is now one of the biggest environmental polluters and consumes energy throughout the supply chain. Donate old clothing to decrease consumption Indeed, humans consume 400 per cent more clothes than they did just two decades ago. About 80 billion pieces of clothing are consumed annually, and the US alone produces 11 million tons of textile waste each year. So, instead of buying cheap fashions, seek out more durable outfits that will last, and if they no longer fit, place unwanted clothes in a material recycling bin or donate – never just throw them away. As consumers we rarely consider the context and impact when buying products, for example, considering the workers and factories that made a product, the journey to the store a product made, how the packaging was produced, etc. Living a simple life means becoming more mindful of what you consume and thinking more about a product’s journey and environmental impact, therefore making more considered purchases. The Takeaway: How to Live a Simple Life According to the Chinese philosopher Confucius, “Life is really simple but we insist on making it complicated.” I would have to agree. For me, it's clear these science-backed benefits of living a simpler life are enormous and can only add to our increased happiness. Simple living and sustainable living go hand-in-hand, and having a healthier environment will also lead to better health for generations to come. So, rather than buying more and more stuff, consider spending more of your time and money on experiences: they leave only memories and nothing in the trash can. ● Images: shutterstock/wavebreakmedia, shutterstock/Monkey Business Images happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Sport & Physical Activity | Purpose of Life | Community Living Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits our online magazine, loves swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! He also works as a collage artist.

Practicing forgiveness is a scientifically-proven way to cultivate deeper happiness. However, forgiving someone and dropping a grudge isn't always easy. Arlo Laibowitz shares a 9-step process that enables you to forgive, let go of suffering, and move on with your life. Human relationships are beautiful, dynamic and invariably complex. They can bring us great joy, comfort and growth, but they can also lead us to the depths of despair when we are betrayed, misunderstood, disappointed or unfairly treated. In our journey through life, the question isn't whether if we'll experience such hurtful moments, but rather when we'll encounter them – and how we'll cope. Indeed, to live is to get hurt. We've all been in the situation that we feel that others have done us wrong: by their words, their actions, or even worse, their indifference. And then there also the things we regret doing or saying ourselves. We've all heard the saying 'to forgive and forget', but in practice, we tend to hold on to our feelings of hurt and resentment. In fact, the best way to deal with these hurting moments is by actually learning how to forgive someone. That's because there's a wealth of scientific evidence that suggests that practicing forgiveness can be of great benefit – both mentally and physically. Why do we hold onto a grudge? Being hurt or betrayed by someone – particularly someone you care about – causes confusion, anger, and sadness. If you continue to dwell on these hurtful events, resentment-filled grudges can develop and take root, opening you up to being consumed by a sense of injustice or bitterness. What are the negative effects of holding a grudge? If you find it hard to practice forgiveness, you may: Become so obsessed with the wrong that you can't enjoy the present moment. Bring bitterness and anger into new friendships/relationships. Become irritable, depressed, or anxious. Lose potentially valuable and enriching connections. Understanding the Power of Forgiveness So, how can we learn how to forgive someone for good? And how does forgiving help us to lead happier and more peaceful lives? Forgiveness is defined as a conscious, deliberate decision to let go of resentment or vengeance towards a person or group who has harmed you. However, forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean forgetting, condoning, or excusing offences. It is what we do for ourselves to get well and move on. Forgive and forget someone in nine simple steps shutterstock/fizkes Furthermore, forgiveness is not just a nebulous, spiritual concept but a science-backed strategy that can lead to better emotional and physical health. According to numerous studies, forgiveness can reduce depression, anxiety, and lead to better heart health. In a 2005 study, researchers at the Department of Psychology at Luther College, Iowa, discovered a direct link between forgiveness and several aspects of health, including cardiovascular functioning, physical vitality, and overall mental health. The act of forgiveness also led to lower levels of fatigue and better sleep quality. “There's a wealth of scientific evidence that suggests that learning how to forgive someone can be of great benefit – both mentally and physically.” Extend this prime notion further with research from University Hospitals of Cleveland in 2003. It was found that individuals who were better at forgiveness showed less stress, anger and depression. Those who held onto their resentment had higher levels of cortisol, a stress hormone, and a higher rate of perceived stress. Finally, Dr. Fred Luskin of Stanford University found in his 2006 study that forgiveness training could not only effectively decrease depression, stress and hostility, but it could also increase feelings of optimism, hope, and self-confidence. How to Forgive Someone in 9 Steps In fact, it was Fred Luskin that originally outlined this 9-step forgiveness program. It helps us to take things less personally, blame others less, and offer more understanding and compassion to others, and to ourselves. So, if you are seeking how to forgive someone who has hurt you, follow these steps: 1. Reflect On Your Experience Know exactly how you feel about what has happened and be able to articulate what is wrong about it. Then, tell a couple of trusted people about your experience. This step encourages expressing your emotions openly, and sharing your experience with others. The key here is acknowledging how the situation made you feel, and expressing that genuinely. 2. Commit Yourself to Feel Better Forgiveness is a personal process. The process starts with a commitment to oneself, highlighting that forgiveness is about your well-being, not the offender's. You are choosing forgiveness for your own peace and tranquility. How to practise forgiveness 3. Don't Condone Forgiveness does not have to mean reconciliation or condoning the actions of the person that has grieved you. Forgiveness is about peace and understanding and taking things less personally. It is about the shift in your own feelings and mindset. 4. Shift Perspective Get the right perspective on what is happening. Recognize that your primary distress is coming from the hurt feelings, thoughts, and physical upset you are suffering now, not from what offended you or hurt you two minutes or ten years ago. “Forgiveness is a personal process. The process starts with a commitment to oneself, highlighting that forgiveness is about your well-being, not the offender's.” This step encourages the recognition that the ongoing pain and distress, rather than the past event, is what primarily causes suffering. 5. Try Calming Exercises Practice stress management to soothe flight or fight, by doing conscious breathing exercises, taking a walk, or whatever else works. Actively manage stress as it occur and aim to soothe your body's reactive response. 6. Lower Expectations Give up expecting things from your life or other people that they do not give you. Luskin advises letting go of unmet expectations for the sake of your tranquility. It's important to accept that you cannot control others’ choices and actions. MORE LIKE THIS: Self-Forgiveness: How to Forgive Yourself in 7 Steps The 6 Steps to an Effective Apology How to Let Go of Bitterness and Resentment 7. Change focus Put your energy into looking for ways to get your positive goals met, instead of focusing on the experience that has hurt you. This step promotes positive thinking and goal-driven attitudes. Instead of dwelling on the hurtful experience, channel energy into seeking constructive ways to meet your positive goals. 8. Look Around You Remember that a well-lived life is an ultimate revenge: look for love, beauty, and kindness. Put energy into appreciating what you have instead of what you don’t have. Living a good life is the best retaliation. It's about taking back the power the offender has over you by shifting focus from negative feelings to the beauty and positivity surrounding you. 9. Remind yourself Amend the way you look at your past; cherish your forgiveness. This is the final step to recalibrating one's perspective. It's crucial to prevent past experiences from tarnishing the present moment. This step helps to restore equilibrium and positivity in life. Embracing forgiveness is like setting a prisoner free and discovering that the prisoner was you. Learning how to forgive someone who hurt you may be gruelling. However, this nine-step forgiveness program can provide you with a structured, practical pathway to navigate through your journey of healing. Remember, healing will take time and patience, but by practicing forgiveness sustainably, you will be opening the door to inner peace, better health and enhanced happiness. What if the person I'm forgiving doesn't change? This is a good question, but getting another person to change isn't the point of learning how to forgive someone. Forgiveness is all about focusing on what you can control and how it can improve your life by ushering in peace, happiness, and emotional healing. Forgiveness removes the power the person that did you wrong continues to hold over your life. The Takeaway: How to Forgive Someone Understanding how to practice forgiveness is more than just about releasing resentment or letting go of grudges. It is about breaking down walls, building bridges and starting on a path to recovery, acceptance and ultimately, happiness. Indeed, research has shown that as we forgive, we are less susceptible to stress, anger and hurt. Once we have learnt how to forgive, it becomes easier to do that in new situations and induces more optimism.So, start on this transformative venture today, and discover the liberating power of forgiveness - not merely for the sake of those who have wronged you, but for your own well-being and harmony. ● Written by Arlo Laibowitz Arlo is a filmmaker, artist, lecturer, and intermittent practitioner of metta meditation and morning yoga. When not dreaming about impossible projects and making them happen in the most impractical ways possible, he journals, listens to jazz, or cuddles with his better half. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; }

Positive energizers are optimistic souls that naturally radiate good vibes to others. Psychologist Stanislava Puač J. offers up the 7 traits of positive energizers and explains how you can nurture more positive relational energy in your life, building happiness. I recently came across the notion of positive relational energy and I immediately remembered something that happened during my college volunteer days. We were working with emotionally heavy cases – stories of trauma and disadvantage that stayed with you long after the day ended. One evening, our team met to report on progress, and we were all visibly drained. One of the coordinators walked in, carrying a tray of mismatched mugs and those overly sweet 3-in-1 instant coffee packs we all secretly loved. But it wasn’t the coffee that lit up the room – she cracked a soft joke about how we ourselves were one emotional breakdown away from qualifying for group therapy, and – genuinely – asked how we were doing. Energy is contagious: positive energizers know it! Of course, that moment didn’t change much in the burden we were carrying. But you could clearly see how the energy shifted. We laughed together and the heaviness dissipated. We all grabbed that straw of optimism and held on to it. If a conversation such as this has ever left you feeling unexpectedly lighter, you’ve probably felt the effects of positive relational energy. Let’s unpack what this concept means, how it works, and how you can become one of these people with positive, contagious energy. What Is Positive Relational Energy? Energy is contagious; I intuitively knew that all of my life. Some people walk into a room and lift the entire emotional atmosphere. Others literally drain life force out of you. “Positive relational energy refers to the uplifting and energizing effect that some people have on others. In simpler terms, when we interact, we exchange not only information but also a dynamic flow of energy.” This interpersonal effect is known as relational energy – a term Kim Cameron explored in detail. According to him, positive relational energy refers to the uplifting and energizing effect that some people have on others. In simpler terms, when we interact, we exchange not only information but also a dynamic flow of energy: Positive relational energy is the kind that inspires, motivates, and leaves people feeling better. It’s more than optimism or a forced “good vibes” act. It is grounded in genuine empathy, presence, and authentic connection. On the other hand, negative relational energy manifests as cynicism, constant complaining, competitiveness, or emotional withdrawal. We often label these people energy vampires (because even short interactions with them can leave you mentally and emotionally exhausted). Although Cameron focuses primarily on the effects of positive relational energy in leadership, this vibrant and uplifting exchange can occur naturally in all forms of communication, for example: A family member’s supportive presence can de-escalate conflict or reinforce bonding. A positive energizer can make friends feel secure, seen, and recharged – turning even ordinary moments into sources of connection and strength. In psychotherapy, we can also say that we rely on such positive relational energy to form rapport. So, in essence, relational energy is that invisible current we exchange during shared experiences. 7 Qualities of Someone with Positive Relational Energy Positive relational energy is more than that instinctive feeling that energy is contagious. In fact, it is measurable – and it has been measured – as well as its effects. Within a work environment, research suggests that teams with more positive energizers are more productive, resilient, and cohesive. According to the same study, leaders who create positive relational energy “display humility, authenticity, work passion, humor, trust, spiritual leadership, and servant leadership.” Let’s examine how these individuals’ positivity is contagious and what traits they possess: 1. They’re emotionally attuned Positive energizers are also empaths. They notice how others feel and have high emotional intelligence. They have an emotional radar that picks up others’ discomfort, disengagement, or tension. And most importantly, they respond with warmth and non-judgment. 2. They listen deeply People endowed with positive relational energy make people feel heard. They nod, reflect, and create a safe space. They go beyond active listening and give the kind of attention that says: “You matter.” Deep listening is a key trait of positive energizers 3. They elevate rather than compete It is not always easy to genuinely celebrate others’ wins. Envy is defined as “an unpleasant, often painful emotion characterized by feelings of inferiority, hostility, and resentment caused by an awareness of a desired attribute enjoyed by another person or group,” by researchers who reviewed empirical and theoretical work on this feeling. “Choosing to be a positive energizer doesn’t mean denying stress or sugarcoating reality. It is about appreciating the beauty of life and passing that appreciation onto others.” Despite its negative hue, most of us tend to experience envy at some point in our lives. Positive energizers, conversely, don’t rely on comparison to feel worthy. Their energy reinforces mutual success, not status games. 4. They radiate solution-focused optimism People whose positivity is contagious also have bad days. However, they don’t focus on problems – but on paths guiding everyone out of trouble. Their default tone is constructive, not corrosive. 5. They use humor wisely Positive energizers know when to bring lightheartedness – as well as when not to. A light, playful remark at the right moment can defuse tension, and these individuals know just the right dose of humor. 6. They’re generous with genuine praise and gratitude Praise, appreciation, and gratitude can have a profoundly positive impact on both the giver and the receiver. If someone carries that positive relational energy, they will notice what’s going right and say it out loud. In this way, their contagious energy boosts not only individual moods but also team morale. RELATED: Happy Habits: 12 Ways to Build Joy Levels Daily The Power of Kindness: the Ripple Effect of Being Nice When Life Gives You Lemons, Try Lemonading! 7. They model integrity and trust People feel safe around a person whose positivity is contagious. Why? They behave in this manner in all life situations. They are consistently positive and respectful. That safety is part of the energy they radiate. How Can I Develop More Positive Relational Energy? You don’t need to be born as a positive energiser. Much like empathy or leadership, positive relational energy can be nurtured. Here’s how you can take the traits outlined above and turn them into intentional habits and small, everyday actions: 1. Enter the room with intentional awareness The foundation for positive energy exchange is mindful presence. Start building awareness of yourself and your effect on others. You can try to: Take a mental note of how your mood might be affecting others whenever you interact with them. Pause before meetings or conversations to ask yourself: “What energy am I bringing into this space?” Be conscious of your non-verbal communication, too (body language, gestures, etc). 2. Rewire your internal world and fill it with gratitude Gratitude shifts your focus from a scarcity to an abundance mindset – and people feel that shift. What is more, it becomes contagious. These are some of the practices you can try: A quick “what went well today” reflection at the end of each day. Expressing appreciation out loud, even for small things. 3. Use listening as a relational tool, not just a social skill We often think we’re listening when we’re really just waiting for our turn to speak! When you intentionally listen, it is not a void space – active and mindful listening creates energy. To develop in this area: Release the need to mentally script your response. Offer simple reflections like, “That sounds tough,” or “You seem excited about this.” 4. Become a calm source of momentum People with positive relational energy aren’t relentlessly cheerful and bubbly. However, they tend not to cling to their problems. Here are a couple of ideas on how to develop that forward-focused mindset and “infect” others with it: Practice asking “What’s one small thing we can do next?” when conversations spiral into frustration. Stay curious and open, rather than critical. Spread good vibes to others through positive relational energy 5. Infuse lightness without losing depth Humor isn’t just about making people laugh. It’s about reminding others (and yourself) that not everything is heavy all the time. Moreover, it has been proven to facilitate relationship-building. So, start using yours to promote positive relational energy and: Sprinkle in jokes, harmless observations, or share uplifting stories. Use playful tones as emotional palate cleansers during tough conversations. 6. Forgive (with boundaries) Even if we think we’re good at hiding it, unresolved resentment leaks into interactions. “People with positive relational energy aren’t relentlessly cheerful and bubbly. However, they tend not to cling to their problems.” Of course, we’re not promoting letting someone off the hook if what they did was terribly wrong. Still, forgiveness sets you free to relate more fully if the transgression wasn’t that severe (if it was, you are fully entitled to set healthy boundaries). How to practice forgiveness intentionally? Practice small acts of emotional release (types of journaling or reframing). 7. Treat consistency as a superpower To be energizing, you need to make others feel safe around you. In other words, it is about being steady, respectful, and present. Here’s how: Show up in a way that people can count on, even when you’re tired. Guard your integrity, so others will know it’s safe to follow your lead. Takeaway: Choose to Radiate Positive Contagious Energy Whether we realize it or not, we’re constantly transmitting. Our voice, demeanour, and words form an energetic signature that affects those around us. Most of the time, we don’t think about this too much. Yet, if you want to be that positive, energizing force in the world, you can deliberately change how you radiate. Choosing to be a positive energizer doesn’t mean denying stress or sugarcoating reality. It is about appreciating the beauty of life and passing that appreciation onto others. It is the kind of contagious energy that brings about genuine change. ● Images: shutterstock/PeopleImages.com - Yuri A, shutterstock/Tint Media, shutterstock/LightField Studios happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum Authenticity | Empathy | Communication skills Written by Stanislava Puač J. Stanislava Puač J. is a psychologist, life coach, and writer with over 15 years of experience exploring how our inner world shapes our interactions, health, and sense of self. Her work blends research, real-life practice, and a holistic view of well-being – spanning emotional regulation, communication, and mindfulness.

Ego death – also known as ego dissolution or ego loss – is a complete loss of subjective self-identity. Rhianna Quanstrom explores some of the common triggers, such as psychedelic experiences, as well as the signs, symptoms, and full meaning of ego death. The first time I experienced an ego death or dissolution was when I took psychedelics at a party. At the time, I was living a very unhealthy lifestyle and making a lot of poor choices. In fact, I think I was in total self-destruct mode. Why? Because I was fully identified with my mind, thoughts, trauma, and wounds. When I took the psychedelics, it was like the blinders came off. For the first time, I could clearly see that who I was “acting” as was not who I truly was. However, this was not an enjoyable experience. In fact, it was terrifying. I could see the darkness of my life surrounding me like a black cloud. Despite it being a “bad trip,” my life completely changed after that experience. I stopped partying, made new friends, and started living a completely different lifestyle. That pivotal moment launched me onto the path of becoming who I am today. This moment was what's known as an ego death, the first of many I have experienced as I continue to walk a path of healing and awakening. An ego death is a transformative experience in this journey we call life. It can be difficult to understand and even harder to describe. If you’re curious about ego death or perhaps believe you may be going through one yourself, keep reading to understand the symptoms of ego dissolution and the ultimate gift that it can offer. What is an Ego Death? To understand the ego death meaning, we must first understand what the ego even is. The ego represents our concept of self, of who we think we are. It contains our identities, beliefs, desires, wounds, conditioning, and worldviews. The ego is represented by "I am" statements, such as "I am (my name)," "I am a (role or gender)," "I believe (in this)," "I enjoy (this)," and "I think (this)." I like to think of it as a mental structure encompassing who we are in this form. It is a normal part of our psychology and human makeup. It helps us present ourselves, participate in the community, and share our unique gifts. Ego death meaning: loss of subjective self-identity The problem is that almost everyone completely identifies with this mental structure as who they truly are. They are their gender, role in society, accomplishments, thoughts, titles, personality, “things,” and income. By completely identifying with our ego structure, we also affirm the illusion of separateness. The ego, by nature, defines how we are separate from others. But this is just the “outward” structure, and there is an essence within this structure that is witnessing and bringing life-force consciousness to it all. Eckhart Tolle relates to this inner essence as our “Being.” Writing inThe Power of Now – his landmark book – Tolle states: “Being is eternal, ever-present One Life beyond the myriad forms of life that are subject to birth and death. However, Being is not only beyond but also deep within every form as its innermost invisible and indestructible essence. This means that it is accessible to you now as your own deepest self, your true nature.” “An ego death or ego dissolution is when our concept of self falls away, and all that we think we are is no longer true. Ego deaths can range in intensity and emotion, but they are often scary and disorienting.” I like to relate to it as my true Divine nature, which is part of and connected to all of life. This essence in me is the same essence within you and within all beings. From this place of knowing, we understand that our mental structures aren’t who we truly are; they are simply the lens or filter through which our true self shines through. As such, an ego death is when our concept of self falls away, and all that we think we are is no longer true. Ego deaths can range in intensity and emotion, but they are often scary and disorienting. This is because one of the main purposes of the ego is to keep us alive and safe! Indeed, we build these egoic structures and beliefs to keep our inner, true self “safe.” So, when we go through a process of realizing that who we think we are isn’t truly who we are, it can feel like we’re literally dying. However, it’s really just the ego going through a death phase. MORE LIKE THIS: Nonduality: What it Is, What it Isn't, and Basic Teachings What is Soul Loss and Retrieval? Healing Through a Shamanic Lens What Goes Around Comes Around: is Karma Real? Of course, the ego doesn’t truly “die.” Rather, an ego dissolution is more of a death for a rebirth process – a transformational rewiring that brings our ego structures into better alignment with our true, Divine self. Ego deaths also help us to remember and understand that we are not our thoughts, personality, or roles in life. We are so much more than our identities and beliefs. Even if we go through an ego death, we still have our thoughts, personality, and roles; however, those aspects of self might change or evolve to better reflect our true Being. The History of Ego Death While the term “ego death” is more recent, the concept of egotism and ego dissolution has been part of mystical traditions for millennia. This concept is found in Buddhism, Hinduism, Christian mysticism, Sufism, and shamanism. Buddhists believe the path of enlightenment involves the dissolution of the self. In Hinduism, there is the concept of the “false self,” which relates to the ego. Through meditation, yoga, and devotion, the devotee can let go of their false self and realize their true nature. Dissolution of the self This same concept stretches into Christian mysticism and Sufism, with both traditions emphasizing “dying to self” to experience union with God. The idea is to strip away illusions and egoic desires so that their singular focus is on the Divine. In shamanism, there is an interesting practice called dismemberment that is a form of ego death. People on a shamanic journey have experienced their spirit guide or power animal attacking them and ripping them apart. Their helping spirit then puts them back together, while leaving out energy, illness, beliefs, or limitations that are not serving that person. Dismemberment can happen spontaneously in a shamanic journey, or it can be experienced intentionally. “Ego deaths help us to remember and understand that we are not our thoughts, personality, or roles in life. We are so much more than our identities and beliefs.” More recently, the term ego death has been connected to psychedelic experiences. The term was actually coined in the 1960s by Timothy Leary in his book The Psychedelic Experience. In it, he explored how psychedelics played a key role in the spiritual journey and initiated ego deaths. Signs and Symptoms of Ego Death Ego death can occur within a single psychedelic or meditation experience, and it can be a slow process over weeks or months. When occurring over some time, ego death is commonly referred to as a “dark night of the soul.” While in an altered state of consciousness, such as on a psychedelic or shamanic journey, ego death symptoms may be entirely unique to you. It may feel scary, disorienting, liberating, peaceful, enlightening, or joyful. Here are some common signs and symptoms of ego death: Loss of identity You may not feel like you know who you are or why you’re here. Your current roles may not feel like they “fit” anymore. Confusion You may feel cloudy, disoriented, and not know what is “real” anymore. There could be emotions rising to the surface that don’t have an obvious source. Dissolving into nothingness An experience of completely letting go to the point where you feel like you are no one and no-thing, like you’re floating in space as pure consciousness. You may also experience sinking into the earth and dissolving into the soil. Becoming one with everything Alternatively, when the illusion of self strips away, one may feel like they are connected and one with everything around them. They are one with the tree in their yard, the wind in the sky, the bird flying high, and the clouds passing by. Detachment from the mind You may experience becoming the observer of yourself, like you are watching your mind from a distance. When there’s space between yourself and your thoughts, you can clearly see your thought patterns and emotions from a non-judgmental, unattached way. Intense fear During a psychedelic experience, it’s normal to go through phases of intense fear or panic. It may feel like you’re dying, and you may have visions of death or darkness. While scary, these are typical symptoms of ego death, especially on psychedelics. What Causes Ego Death? There are many ways that an ego death can be triggered. Substances – such as mescaline (found in the Peyote and Wachuma cacti) psilocybin, ayahuasca, LSD, and DMT – commonly cause ego deaths. These are typically intense and transformational, resulting in a sudden change in one’s life going forward. Psilocybin, found in mushrooms, can lead to ego dissolution experiences Devotion to a spiritual and awakening path will eventually lead to ego death. The longer one walks this path, the more experiences of ego death they will go through. This is because as one walks a healing and awakening path, there is a natural purification process. All that is not true and no longer serves comes to the surface and is released over time. Aside from psychedelic experiences, here are some other common causes of ego death: Sudden spiritual awakenings Near-death experiences Childbirth Intense grief or trauma Deep, unconditional love Lucid dreaming Consistent and long meditations Shamanic journey meditations Is Ego Death Good? Ego death has the potential to be a truly rewarding experience, depending on how well the experience is integrated. It can lead to a deeper connection to one’s own true, Divine nature, and to the world around them. It can help bring one closer to their true purpose, help release emotional trauma, heal old wounds, and let go of belief systems or conditioning that no longer serve. For example, a 2023 study conducted led by Johns Hopkins University and published in Front Psychiatry found that naturalistic use (non-research-based) of psilocybin showed: “persisting reductions in anxiety, depression, and alcohol misuse, increased cognitive flexibility, emotion regulation, spiritual wellbeing, and extraversion, and reduced neuroticism and burnout.” This is just one study of many that show the positive implications of psychedelic integration, in which ego deaths are common. Ego deaths are profound and monumental, but they can also be frightening and disorienting. It’s important to integrate the process and seek support when you need it. Takeaway: What is an Ego Death? An ego death is a transformational experience. While scary, it can help us come into deeper alignment with our true essence and change the course of our lives. These intense initiations help us realize and remember that we are so much more than who we think we are. I’m so thankful for the intense and dark psychedelic experience I had. That ego death helped me realize that the path I was heading down was not where I wanted to go. It helped remove the illusions and beliefs clouding my mind so that I could clearly see that the life I was living wasn’t in alignment with my true, Divine nature. Whether you’re currently experiencing symptoms of an ego death or you’re curious about the psychedelic experience, be sure to have people around to support you. The key is integration and trusting that this experience is part of your liberation and healing. ● Images: shutterstock/New Africa, shutterstock/Good Studio, shutterstock/Room27 happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Purpose of Life | Letting Go | Mindfulness Written by Rhianna Quanstrom Rhianna Quanstrom is a freelance writer, herbalist, and spiritual seeker with a passion for nature-based healing and sacred wisdom. Her writing draws from years of experience with meditation, shamanic practices, plant medicine, dream work, and the reclamation of the Sacred Feminine. Discover more of her writing and poetry on her Mystic Love Substack.

Soul loss can manifest in feelings of lack of joy and purpose. Rhianna Quanstrom explores the potential to recover your missing essence through shamanic soul retrieval AKA ensoulment. Do you feel disconnected from yourself? From your joy, purpose, and aliveness? Are you overwhelmed by feelings of loneliness, depression, anxiety, or hopelessness? If so, these could be signs that you are disconnected from your soul. But what does that actually mean? There are a few ways to interpret what soul loss is, including traditional shamanic and modern understandings. Together, we’ll explore what it may mean for us and how it might show up in our lives. Hand-in-hand with soul loss comes soul retrieval and the process of how to get your soul back. Soul retrieval, also known as ensoulment, may just be the golden key you’ve been searching for to unlock your purpose, joy, creativity, and connection to yourself and to life. So, What is Soul Loss Exactly? In traditional shamanic cultures, it is believed that when the body or mind experiences a shocking or traumatic event, parts of the soul leave the body. A modern perspective on this is that parts of the psyche detach from the experience, which aligns with the psychological understanding of dissociation. To be clear, speaking about a topic such as soul loss is to enter the waters of mysticism and esoteric wisdom. As such, all definitions and understandings are not concrete; they are attempts to explain the truly unexplainable. Given this, there are multiple ways to look at soul loss, and all of them may be true. It is about learning what metaphors and language best resonate with you. Lack of joy and purpose are possible signs of soul loss For instance, I believe the soul can never truly be shattered or broken into pieces – it is the part of us that is unshakable. No matter what happens on the surface of our lives, the soul remains steadfast and everlasting. With soul loss, it may be more accurate to understand it as part of our essence, psyche, or spirit detaching from our true, soul selves. Soul loss occurs when we forget our soulful nature. All of us, to varying degrees, are in the process of remembering our true, Divine selves. When there are veils of illusion in our minds and psyche that obscure us from our innate truth, we can experience the symptoms of soul loss. Another way soul loss occurs is when part of our psyche or essence gets “stuck” in a traumatic experience because it left our body and is still “existing” within that moment. Soul Loss and the Invisible Realms To better understand soul loss as it relates to “existing” in another moment, it’s important to know about the invisible, or unseen, realm. In shamanic and mystical traditions, there is a belief that an unseen reality exists just beyond the veil of known reality. When you dream at night, your consciousness is experiencing the unseen realm. That is why it is also called the “imaginal realm.” When it comes to soul loss, part of our psyche or essence can leave our body and enter the unseen realm at the moment of the traumatic or shocking event. Time does not exist within the unseen realm, so part of the psyche could still be living in that moment, separated from your current reality. “Soul retrieval, also known as ensoulment, may be the golden key you’ve been searching for to unlock your purpose, joy, creativity, and connection to yourself.” While these parts of the self are separated, they are still connected because they all belong to you. In my mind's eye, I see it as a subtle cord of energy weaving between the two – the part stuck or lost, and your current essence. Sometimes this cord is more dense; other times, it is barely there. This lost part of the self does not need to be lost forever; it can and will return through the process of soul retrieval. What is Soul Retrieval, AKA Ensoulment? In essence, soul retrieval, or ensoulment, is about calling back the lost parts of yourself. You are “retrieving” what has been lost and integrating that energy back into your body. By doing this, you are connecting with and remembering your soul self, embodying it to the next degree that serves your soul path. Retrieving lost parts of yourself may seem scary because we don’t want to relive those painful experiences. But that’s not what ensoulment is about. Ensoulment is a technique to try and retrieve part of the soul Shamanic soul retrieval is about reclaiming your energy and connecting more deeply to who you truly are. Because here’s the thing: when you lose a part of yourself, you lose part of your vitality. You may even lose or forget your innate joy, strength, innocence, and gifts. RELATED: How to Find Yourself Again: 10 Steps in Creating Clarity The 7 Steps to Take When Nothing Makes You Happy Anymore 'Why Do I Hate My Life?' 10 Ways to Start Loving It Again So, part of soul retrieval isn’t just processing the pain of that experience; it is about reclaiming your joy, innocence, confidence, peace, love, wisdom, or whatever was “lost” during that challenging experience. While a soul retrieval may bring up some hard emotions, they usually appear because they are meant to be processed and released. And through releasing those emotions, you find gifts and wisdom waiting for you. Causes of Soul Loss Soul loss can occur with any sort of traumatic or shocking experience, whether to the body, mind, or emotions, including: Surgery or traumatic injury Physical accidents Any form of abuse (physical, emotional, sexual, spiritual, mental) Loss of consciousness Loss of a loved one Serious or chronic illness Intense fear or shock Being in a coma Being a victim of a terrorist attack Divorce Acting against our values and morals Addiction Being in war Being a victim of a natural disaster It’s important to note that not everyone experiences soul loss with these examples. It all depends on the person and the experience. What may cause soul loss in one person may not cause it in another. Shamanism and Soul Retrieval/Loss One of the vital roles shamans play in their communities is that of a soul retriever. A shaman can walk between worlds – between this known reality and the unseen, spirit world. As such, they act as intermediaries with the spirit world. When someone is living from depression, hopelessness, numbness, or lack of purpose, a shaman will typically enter the unseen world and perform a soul retrieval. Shamanic soul retrieval can involve 'blowing' the lost soul part back In modern psychology, soul loss aligns with dissociation. Both modern and shamanic understandings agree that it is a natural protective mechanism of the psyche. Therefore, soul loss is not necessarily a “bad” thing. In her blog about soul retrieval, respected author and shamanic practitioners Sandra Ingerman states: “It is important to understand that soul loss is a good thing that happens to us. It is how we survive pain. If I was going to be in a head on car collision, the last place that I would want to be at the point of impact is in my body. My psyche could not endure that kind of pain. So our psyches have this brilliant self protect mechanism where a part of our essence or soul leaves the body so that we do not feel the full impact of the pain. “Although soul loss is a survival mechanism, the problem from a shamanic point of view is that the soul part that left usually does not come back on its own. The soul might be lost, or stolen by another person, or doesn’t know the trauma has passed and it is safe to return. It has always been the role of the shaman to go into an altered state of consciousness and track down where the soul fled to in the alternate realities and return it to the body of the client.” Soul Retrieval Methods Modern psychology has a few methods that might lead to soul retrieval. They don’t label it as ensoulment, but rather view it through the lens of treating PTSD, dissociation, or depression. Therapy methods might include somatic techniques, EMDR, cognitive processing therapy (CPT), or prolonged exposure (PE). A shamanic soul retrieval can be performed on your behalf by a shamanic healing practitioner, or you can perform it yourself with a guide. That guide may be your personal spirit guide, or it may be someone leading you through a meditative journey. “Shamanic soul retrieval is about reclaiming your energy and connecting more deeply to who you truly are. Because here’s the thing: when you lose a part of yourself, you lose part of your vitality.” During a soul retrieval session, the shaman enters the unseen world and, with the help of their spirit guides, locates the lost part of their client’s soul. They will then perform a ceremony to return the lost soul part to the person’s body. Expect to feel more joyful and rejuvenated after a soul retrieval They typically blow the soul part back into the body, and the client is encouraged to consciously receive and integrate this returned essence into their body. The shaman might share what they saw or heard in their journey, and may explain the gifts and strengths they are returning to the client. What to Expect After a Soul Retrieval What happens after a shamanic soul retrieval is a unique experience for each of us. It may bring up some hard memories or emotions, or it may feel like nothing really happened at all. It’s best to trust your experience and know that what whatever comes up for you is what is meant for you to process. That said, here are some common experiences after a soul retrieval: Feeling more grounded and present in the body Feeling more connected to one’s vitality or life force energy More joy and aliveness Remembering gifts or natural ways of being (such as innocence or child-like wonder) More clarity around purpose Resurfacing of old memories that bring up emotions that must be worked through A sense of freedom from old ways of being (victimhood, depression, etc.) Takeaway: Soul Retrieval and Loss Soul loss is a shamanic way of understanding the result of traumatic and painful experiences. It helps us recognize what happens to our spirit and our psyche during those moments. Amazingly, it also holds the key to healing and integrating what has been lost through a soul retrieval ceremony. Shamanism tells us that there’s an answer for our pain – for our hopelessness, depression, fear, and numbness. It tells us that we don’t have to continue living this way, and through the help of a guide, we can retrieve what has been lost. We can lift the veils of obscurity from our consciousness and remember our innate, Divine, Soul essence within. Whether you visit a local shamanic practitioner or search for a guided meditation, a soul retrieval ceremony will help you bring back lost parts of yourself. And by doing so, you welcome back your vitality, strength, and unique, soul-given gifts. ● Images: shutterstock/exebiche, shutterstock/Ammit Jack, shutterstock/F01 Photo, shutterstock/KieferPix happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Healthy habits | Letting Go | Goal setting Written by Rhianna Quanstrom Rhianna Quanstrom is a freelance writer, herbalist, and spiritual seeker with a passion for nature-based healing and sacred wisdom. Her writing draws from years of experience with meditation, shamanic practices, plant medicine, dream work, and the reclamation of the Sacred Feminine. Discover more of her writing and poetry on her Mystic Love Substack.

Radical self care is about making decisions that honour our true selves. From setting uncompromising boundaries to nurturing your authentic self, Dee Marques explores 8 radical self care examples you can incorporate into your life to gain stability and happiness. What comes to your mind when you hear the term “radical self care”? For some people, they may it associate with taking time out to pamper themselves, but this type of self care goes way beyond scented candles and relaxing bubble baths. And although these smaller acts of physical self care have their place, radical self care involves a much deeper level of attention and consideration for our mind, body and spirit. A good example of radical self care is the decision taken by US gymnastics champion Simone Biles, who bravely withdrew from Tokyo Olympics in 2021 to prioritise her mental health. Reflecting on her decision, she said that "we have to protect our minds and our bodies and not just go out and do what the world wants us to do”, emphasising that this type of choice isn’t a sign of weakness, but of strength. Indeed, radical self care is about making choices that honour our true selves. It's about taking a stand for our inner stability – something that can be life-changing. Radical Self Care: the History While the volume of Google searches for “radical self care” has boomed from 2015 onwards, the origins of this concept go way back to the 1960s and 1970s. In fact, radical self care has always had a revolutionary flair to it. Starting in the 1960s, activists within the Black Power movement, including the Black Panthers and writers like Audre Lorde, affirmed that self care was crucial when it came to survival under oppression. Practicing radical self care can be life-changing These revolutionary voices understood that radical self care meant attending to their bodies and minds on a daily basis, as they battled with systemic injustice, whether that meant being diligent with nutrition, meditation, or yoga. Not only that, but radical self care also had a community focus, as many of these activists created wellness and social service programmes targeting groups affected by inequality, and turning self care into a form of activism. So, What is Radical Self Care Exactly? The full extent of radical self care is perfectly described by Audre Lorde, when she said: “caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare”. Nowadays, we’re used to thinking about self care as those Instagrammable moments of pampering, quiet, and relaxation, but there’s so much more to radical self care than me-time. “Radical self care is about making choices that honour our true selves. It's about taking a stand for our inner stability – something that can be life-changing.” To understand what radical self care really means, it helps to look at the origin of the word “radical”, meaning “root”. Radical self care isn’t about masking problems with comfort, trying endless yoga programmes or the latest fad in self care routines. Instead, it’s about going to the root, tending to the source. We’re talking about the type of care that tackles burnout, systemic pressures, and emotional labour with proactive healing, and not just with generic rest. RELATED: Be Good to Yourself: 8 Self-Love Techniques 12 Ways to Practise Self-Acceptance Self Validation: 5 Ways to Develop It This means prioritising yourself, even when putting your needs first disappoints other people. Just like fellow sports star Simone Biles, tennis player Naomi Osaka gave an outstanding example of this at the 2021 French Open. She refused to talk to the media as she felt mentally fragile and subsequently withdrew from the competition, all in the face of considerable pressure and coercion. Radical self care also means creating the space to live authentically and connect with your true self, aligning your choices with your coping, social, creative, and physical needs. Essentially, radical self care is about care with conviction – a transformational practice that recognises your well-being is non-negotiable. Making time for physical wellness is another radical self care example What are Some Examples of Radical Self Care? Because radical self care isn’t only radical at the root, but in its reach, it’s vital to ensure all areas of your life are covered by this commitment to prioritising your well-being. So, how does this look like in real life? Here are some examples: Leaving a pressured social role or job that doesn’t align with your needs and values. Declining an invitation if it disrupts your energy, even if it involves people you care about. Prioritising therapy, coaching, or community healing circles over mindless distraction. Speaking up about unrealistic expectations, even if that goes against the majority’s opinion. Ending toxic relationship dynamics or unhealthy communication loops. Taking meal planning seriously to ensure your meals are nutritious and honour your body. How Do You Practice Radical Self Care? Here are eight ways you can decide to make changes that honour your true self, cultivating radical self care. 1. Cultivate Relationships That Expand You The more seriously you take your well-being, the more sensitive you become to anything that drains your energy – and that includes people. If there are toxic people in your circle, or anyone who drags you down, radical self care demands you let go and focus on connections full of respect, reciprocity, and depth. 2. Set Uncompromising Boundaries One of the starting points of radical self care is realising you can’t give your 100% to everything at the same time. To protect your energy, be selective with your boundaries at work and at home, making sure your needs are clearly expressed (for example, “I’m unavailable after 6pm” or “I can’t handle extra projects right now.”) Protect your energy by setting uncompromising boundaries 3. Say “No” Cutting obligations may disappoint others, but each “no” frees space for your mental and emotional health. Saying “no” also includes refusing to give into distraction (such as mindless scrolling), when you could be using that time on activities that bring you tangible benefits. “Radical self care means prioritising yourself, even when putting your needs first disappoints other people. That often means saying 'no'.” Studies have shown that children who say “no” and delay gratification did better socially and academically later in life – and as writer and psychotherapist Bryan Robinson says – “saying no more than you say yes is a trait of healthy and successful people”. 4. Make Time For Physical Wellness Although radical self care is much more than taking a relaxing bath or doing yoga, attending to the body is an important aspect. Make time every day for activities that respect your body’s levels energy, such as a fitness or exercise routine like mindful running, and complement this with conscious eating choices. 5. Nurture Your Authentic Self Find opportunities to voice your truths, stand by your values, and celebrate your cultural, spiritual, or political identity. To cultivate your authentic self, you may want to explore rituals that reaffirm who you are or ancestral healing practices. 6. Practice Creative Expression Your authentic self has a creative side, and research across different cultures and age ranges shows that creative activities like writing, making art, and singing are correlated to higher levels of autonomy, empowerment, and stress relief. How to practice radical self cafe? Try creative expression 7. Embrace Rest As Resistance Review your routines often and realign them around rest. This could mean anything from taking a whole day to yourself, to making 15-minute appointments with yourself. Pausing isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a choice you make out of self-love. As author Ivory Bennett said about Simone Biles’ act of rest as resistance: “Biles is a bold and beautiful example of duality. You can be strong and choose rest”. 8. Swap Guilt For Trust Statistics show that 1 in 4 Americans feel guilty for investing in self care. When you feel guilty about attending to your well-being, you’re more likely to be inconsistent with your radical self care practice. It’s much more beneficial to approach every act of self care with complete trust in your choices and regards the benefits of these self-priority actions. Takeaway: Radical Self Care is Your Foundation Ultimately, radical self care is an act of total self-respect. It asks us to show up consistently for ourselves and reconnects us to our worth beyond productivity or performance – just like Simone Biles said: “I’m more than my accomplishments”. Embracing radical self care as a way of being roots us in our values, protects our energy, and restores our autonomy. What’s more, it invites us to honour our energy, trust our needs, and protect our peace without apology. Whether it’s saying no, resting without guilt, or expressing your truth, each radical choice is a step towards living more intentionally and authentically. Remember that your well-being isn’t a luxury: it’s your foundation. So, take the time and create the space for it. Why not start right now, finding one radical way of caring for and respecting yourself today? ● Images: shutterstock/GoodStudio, shutterstock/Julia Zavalishina, shuttertstock/Josep Suria, shutterstock/Toffee Photo happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Healthy habits | Letting Go | Goal setting Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.