What Is a Situationship? Here Are the 6 Signs You're In One

In a relationship and you don't know where it's going? Do you or your 'partner' avoid commitment or sideline each other at times? Then you may be in a situationship. Dee Marques explains the meaning of situationships, six signs to know you're in one, plus tips on how to manage – or move on from – the uncertainty they involve. 

In today’s liberal dating scene, romantic and sexual relationships sometimes exist in grey areas. You may be spending time with someone, sharing intimacy, and even developing an emotional connection, but without any real definition of what the relationship actually is. If you’ve ever found yourself wondering, “what are we?”, then you could well be in a so-called situationship.

This term is becoming increasingly popular since it first appeared in 2017, as more people are choosing to date with a focus on freedom and flexibility. But despite their seemingly casual nature, situationships aren’t always as carefree as one would think, and it’s important to assess their impact on your well-being.

In this article, we’ll be exploring this concept by looking at what is the meaning of situationship, what are the differences between a situationship vs friends with benefits, how to navigate this type of connection, as well as how to end a situationship and how to get over it, if it no longer works for you.
 

So, what exactly is a situationship?

Firstly, let’s define a situationship meaning. So, a situationship is essentially a romantic or sexual connection that lacks clear commitment and other traits that characterise traditional relationships, such as formal agreements about exclusivity, future plans, or emotional expectations. You can describe it as ´being together sometimes, but not really´.

Situationship frustrations occurs when needs are not mutual

In the UK, a survey done by a dating app found that nearly a third of their users had been in a situationship during or since 2020. Other studies rank Manchester, London and Reading as the “UK’s situationship hotspots”, whereas in the US, 50% of Gen Z have been in a situationship.

 

Situationship vs friends with benefits

Many people assume that situationships and friends with benefits (FWB) are the same, but there are key differences between the two.

A friends-with-benefits arrangement is typically a friendship where both parties understand that the connection is mainly sexual. The key aspect is mutual clarity and some sense of equality of expectation, meaning that neither party expects the casual connection to evolve into something deeper.
 

“A situationship is essentially a romantic or sexual connection that lacks clear commitment and other traits that characterise traditional relationships.”

On the other hand, situations are marked by their ambiguity. They often involve some asymmetry in emotional or romantic expectations, whether this happens from the start or later on. Often, and for at least one partner, a situationship can feel more like a romantic relationship but without the security of one.
 

Six signs you’re in a situationship

Because uncertainty is the trademark of situationships, it’s normal to wonder whether your relationship falls into this category. Here are six tell-tale signs:
 

1. No clear definition

You haven’t had the “what are we?” conversation, or if you have, the response was vague. You may even fear asking this question – even though you have a strong need to know – and can’t quite figure out where the worry is coming from.
 

2. Inconsistency

Situationships are often marked by inconsistency in both behaviour and communication. Someone may text you several times in one day, then disappear for days or weeks. Basically, there’s no set pattern to anything.
 

3. Last-minute plans

Making thoughtful plans together in advance is off the table. You may get a “what are you up to?” text at random times or only hear from the other person when it’s convenient for them.
 

4. Invisibility

The connection may feel like a secret and there’s no effort to bring you into your partner’s social circles. They might avoid talking about you in their personal life, as if you (or “it”) don’t exist.

Friends with benefits or the real deal? 

 

5. Not feeling enough

You may spend time in each other’s company, but somehow, it’s never enough: you feel that the connection isn’t valuable enough, clear enough, meaningful enough, etc., which makes you feel deeply dissatisfied.
 

6. Frustrating stagnation

Months pass and the relationship lacks progression or future orientation. Discussions never involve threads around commitment or future plans, and this leaves you frustrated, uneasy, or even anxious.
 

Pros and Cons of situationships

Being in this kind of relationship clearly has its ups and downs:
 

Pros

• Less pressure There’s no need to meet relationship expectations or timelines (no gifts, anniversaries, or other 'responsibilities').
• More freedom You’re not tied down to one person and can explore other connections.
• Fun without commitment You get some level of companionship and fun without the emotional investment of standard relationships.
• Low maintenance If you’re focused on career, personal growth, or other priorities, a situationship can offer a level of sexual and emotion connection without distractions.

Cons

• Emotional instability The uncertainty of this type of relationship can cause stress and anxiety and take a toll on your self-esteem and emotional well-being.
• Mismatched expectations If one person wants more commitment, but the other doesn’t, it can lead to hurt feelings.
• Low emotional security Because the boundaries are unclear, there’s always the risk of being blind-sided by the other person’s actions.

 

Thriving in a situationship

If you’re in a situationship and want to make it work for you, there are some key strategies to help you manage expectations and protect your emotional well-being.

Rule one: know and express your needs. Ask yourself what you truly want from a close connection and accept it without censoring yourself. It’s not wrong to want more commitment or more consistent communication. Stay in an undefined situationship for long enough and you’ll end up feeling guilty for acknowledging your needs: don’t let this happen.
 

“Situationships are often marked by inconsistency in both behaviour and communication. Someone may text you several times in one day, then disappear for days or weeks. There’s no set pattern to anything.”

Once this is clear, don’t fall into a passive role. Reflect frequently on whether you’re truly happy with the arrangement. If you’re not, be upfront and communicate it, expressing what you’re comfortable with and what you’re looking for.

Thirdly, don’t forget to set boundaries regarding emotional limits (for example, not talking about your love life outside of the situationship), physical expectations (like exclusivity), or time constraints (deciding how often you see each other, etc.).

MORE LIKE THIS:

• What is Relationship Anarchy?
• Ethical Non-Monogamy: What Does it Mean?
• What is Intimacy Anorexia and How to Identify it?

 

Last but certainly not least, avoid over-analysing. Trying to ‘decode’ a situationship can lead to unnecessary stress. Instead, invite yourself to stay in the present and focus on whether you feel happy and secure in the dynamic as it is.

 

How to end a situationship

You may be thinking that if you set boundaries and communicate your needs, the situationship may end rather quickly, as it won’t fit yours or the other person’s expectations. If the connection is no longer serving you, here’s how to end the situationship:

1. Know your reasons Before starting the conversation, reflect on why you want to end the situationship. Are you looking for something more serious? Do you feel emotionally unfulfilled? The lack of reciprocity is damaging your mental well-being? Or you’ve simply outgrown the connection? Understanding your own motivations will help you communicate your decision clearly and confidently.
    
2. Be kind but direct Situationships are more likely to end with ghosting or fading away, but it’s better to show kindness by having an honest face-to-face discussion, or at least a phone call. Ending things in a considerate way shows respect for the other person’s feelings, which they matter even if the relationship wasn’t deeply defined. There’s no need to be harsh, but be direct about why you’re ending it without expressing blame or creating conflict.
    
3. Prepare for unexpected reactions Your partner may take it well, be completely indifferent, or feel hurt, even if this was a casual connection. The lack of definition means that you never know how the other person will respond, so remind yourself to stay calm and be understanding. If they push back, stand firm in your decision without getting into arguments.
    

How to get over a situationship

Just like traditional breakups, situationships can leave you with unresolved emotions that need to be processed healthily so you can move forward.

First, validate your feelings. It’s OK to grieve, and your emotions are still valid even if it wasn’t an 'official' relationship. Allow yourself to feel sadness, frustration, or disappointment rather than dismissing your experience as insignificant or unjustified.

 

How to end a situationship: be kind bur direct

If we allow it, every connection can help us understand our emotional needs and boundaries better. Ask yourself what this experience has uncovered about yourself and what you are really looking for in your relationships. Take time to reflect on what worked, what didn’t, and what you want from now on.

RELATED: How to Get Over a Break-Up: 10 Tips For Recovery

Although some sadness or anger may be unavoidable, raise your energy to a better place. Focus on doing things that bring you joy and that strengthen your sense of value, like hobbies or exercise. And, of course, spend time with people who offer certainty and consistency, like friends, family, or a counsellor if you need it.

All these steps can help you process your emotions and gain perspective, so the transition is easier and you come out stronger of a situationship.

 

Situationships: the takeaway

Situationships exist in the grey area between casual dating and commitment. Although they can offer freedom, flexibility, and fun, they can also create confusion. Indeed, their emotional impact can take a toll on your mental well-being. And while at some point this dynamic might serve you, it’s important to recognise when it stops doing so.

Whether you choose to stay in a situationship or to end it, always ensure you make choices aligned with your needs, and always prioritise clarity, respect, and a connection that makes you feel secure and valued.  •
Images: shutterstock/PeopleImages-com - Yuri A, shutterstock/pedro7merino, shutterstock/PeopleImages-com - Yuri A
 

 

Written by Dee Marques

A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.