How to Find Yourself Again: 10 Steps in Creating Clarity

Feeling off-track in life can make us unhappy and unfulfilled, but we should take it as an opportunity for self-discovery. Dee Marques explains how you can help to find yourself and your true purpose again through 10 steps, from journal prompts to embracing solitude.

 

There are moments in life when we feel lost and unsure of who we are or where we're heading. Perhaps it's following a significant life change, such as the loss of a loved one, a change in your professional life, or the disintegration of a meaningful relationship.

If you’ve been there, you know that these seasons in life can be tough and uncomfortable – and you’re not alone. Feeling lost isn't uncommon. In the UK, nearly 90% of Brits aged between 16 and 29 say they lack meaning and direction in their lives.

Similarly, in the US, a study by Harvard found that nearly 60% of young adults had felt a “void in their lives” within the last 30 days.

But built into this lack of clarity and direction there’s also an invitation to go on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth. If you’re wondering how to go about finding yourself again, you’re in the right place. Let's look at what finding yourself truly means, the benefits of starting off in this journey, and 10 suggestions on how to find yourself – including some journal prompts for self discovery.

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What does it mean to really 'find yourself'?

Finding yourself is a journey of self-discovery, but it’s not like the typical journey where you go from A to B in a linear way. When it comes to inner work, we don’t always know what the destination is or what it will look like.

Also, this journey can be continuous. After a period of soul-searching, we can get some insights into who we are and what our next step is, but these revelations won't necessarily be valid for the rest of our lives. As we age and face new experiences, our perspectives evolve, making self-discovery an ongoing process.
 

“Finding yourself is a journey of self-discovery, but it’s not like the typical journey where you go from A to B in a linear way. When it comes to inner work, we don’t always know what the destination is or what it will look like.”

Indeed, the self-discovery journey isn't about reaching a final destination but about embracing the process of becoming. It's about understanding who you are, which are your true values, the passions that drive you forward, your strengths, and the unique combination of accumulated experiences that make you who you are.

Finding yourself means recognising that change is constant and that self-awareness helps you navigate the ups and downs in life with clarity and purpose.
 

Benefits of finding yourself

Sometimes, we may be tempted to postpone the self-discovery journey. Perhaps at a subconscious level, we know that truly finding ourselves is going to require radical honesty. But if you push past the initial resistance, finding yourself can be transformative and liberating.

The commitment to cultivating self-awareness offers many rewards, including:

• A better sense of direction Our thoughts and emotions impact our choices and behaviours, so increased self-awareness can help us make decisions and develop habits that get us closer to where we want to be in life.
   
• Improved mental health Studies show that Self-awareness influences our levels of emotional regulation and emotional intelligence, so we become better at monitoring our emotional reactions and modulating them so they don’t hijack our mental well-being. In other words, we’re more in control of our internal states.
   
• High-quality relationships A UK study found that self-awareness was closely linked to improved social interactions. The reason? Probably because through self-discovery, we learn to develop healthy boundaries, as well as compassion and acceptance for ourselves and others.
   
• Increased resilience As we move through self-discovery journey, we become more aware of our strengths and we learn new coping tools. This is helpful when things are tough, as we’re better equipped to move forward with ease.
   
• Greater life satisfaction Knowing that you’re living in alignment with your values and goals is one of the most rewarding experiences. Authentic living is the antidote to that existential void that so many people experience.
   

How to find yourself

So, if you're feeling stuck in life, here are 10 steps you can take to find clarity about who you really are and what you want your life to mean. But remember; our goals and visions constantly change, so be prepared to repeat these steps at various stages of your life journey.
 

1. Practice self-reflection

Set aside time regularly to reflect on your experiences, emotions, and reactions. Journaling can be a powerful tool, allowing you to track patterns and gain insights into your inner world.

Finding yourself is made easier with journal prompts for self discovery

 

2. Explore your energy sources

Make a list of the actions and interactions that fill your physical and emotional energy deposit. Then, make a list of the things that drain your energy. This helps you make choices aligned with your passions and create sustainable habits – protecting your energy is essential to your well-being.

 

3. Reconnect with your hobbies

Hobbies aren’t just things we do to fill time – they can help express your true self better and reveal aspects of yourself that may have been dormant. Consider trying a new activity every month to discover what resonates with you, or revisit anything you once used to loved but stopped doing.

 

4. Practice mindfulness

Through mindfulness, you become more attuned to your thoughts and feelings, which helps cultivate a stronger sense of ownership and presence throughout your life.
 

“Finding yourself is a journey of self-discovery, but it’s not like the typical journey where you go from A to B in a linear way. When it comes to inner work, we don’t always know what the destination is or what it will look like.”

Incorporate as many as our mindfulness tips for staying engaged into your daily routine, from something as simple as mindful showering to something that require a bit more effort and thought on your behalf, such as mindful appreciation. 

 

5. Reflect on your values

Identifying your core values shows you what matters most to you and is essential to ensure your actions and decisions are a reflection of your true identity. This exercise is a personal favourite on how to find yourself through your values.

 

6. Archetype work

Archetypes are universal characters (like the Hero, the Rebel, or the Caregiver) that represent parts of our psyche. Exploring which ones resonate with you through journaling, creative writing, or the PMAI assessment can help you understand your deeper drives in a powerful and symbolic way.

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7. Dare to be uncomfortable

Finding yourself isn’t just about theoretical exploration – it’s important to take aligned action, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. New experiences challenge you, offer fresh perspectives, and can lead to personal growth.

 

8. Embrace solitude

Finding yourself can only happen when you make time and space for it, away from digital distractions and external influences. Moments of solitude are perfect to tune into your thoughts and feelings with greater clarity.

How to find yourself again? Solitude can help you clarify feelings

 

9. Set personal goals

Create a weekly or monthly action plan with specific goals that matter to you. For example, you could choose to experiment with new ways of practising a character strength, or ensure that every choice you make in the next 7 days reflects one of your core values.

 

10. Seek support

Finding yourself doesn’t have to be a lonely journey. Mentors, coaches, and therapists can guide and support you with different tools and frameworks that can broaden your self-discovery journey.

 

Journal prompts for self discovery

To get you started in this journey, here are some self discovery questions that can help uncover more about your true self. Ask yourself them and keep a note of the answers in a journal and reflect on them. 

• If fear weren’t a factor, what choice would I make today?
• What patterns keep repeating in my life — and what might they be trying to teach me?
• When do I feel most alive and engaged?
• What things I couldn’t live without?
• What are my greatest strengths and how do I use them?
• What fears are holding me back from pursuing my passions?
• Who inspires me and why?
• What does success look like to me?
• What’s my biggest learning experience in life so far?
• What part of myself have I silenced to fit in?
• What legacy do I want to leave behind?
 

Takeaway: finding yourself again

The journey to finding yourself requires courage and patience, but it’s the path to a more meaningful life. While the journey may be challenging at times, the rewards – a clearer sense of identity, purpose, and fulfilment – are invaluable. As Carl Jung said, “who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes”.

Remember that it's OK to feel lost in life while you explore how to find yourself. Just take it one step at the time, using the suggestions in this article to navigate the depths of your inner world. So why not start today, maybe with one of the self discovery questions above? ●

Images: shutterstock/KieferPix, shutterstock/Daniel Hoz, PeopleImages - Yuri A

 

Written by Dee Marques

A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.