Stuck in the happiness trap? Discover 5 ways to escape it

Could you be stuck in the happiness trap? Trying to pursue joy at all times? If so, it's time to stop. From practising gratitude to reaffirming your values, these five science-backed tips from Ed Gould will help you to become satisfied with how your life already is.

Accepting that you feel happy enough, as opposed to constantly pursuing an idea of what happiness might be, is the route many now choose to discover greater well-being. Indeed, this is the key idea behind escaping the so-called 'happiness trap'.

Remember that old REM hit, Shiny Happy People? In it, the lyrics encouraged you to put “it in your heart” where “tomorrow” and “gold and silver shine”. OK, let's not set too much store by a pop song, but it illustrates something important about modern culture: happiness seems to be shiny, attractive and – like gold and silver – material. Now, a jangly pop anthem may not be the best route to understanding what happiness is, but it does suggest the way many people still think about it.

However, the pursuit of happiness can often lead us in the wrong direction. This is what today's psychologists refer to as the happiness trap. Let's have a look at what it is exactly, how you can identify the extent to which you might have fallen into it and – perhaps most importantly of all – the five main ways you can escape the happiness trap.

The misguided pursuit of happiness

According to Greek philosopher Aristotle, happiness involves activity and exhibiting virtue, but the word he chose to describe it was 'eudaimonia'. Often translated as 'happiness', this term is probably better described as 'human flourishing'. We seem quite removed from that sentiment when you consider how contemporary mass culture depicts happiness.

Think of all the happy messages the mainstream media bombards us with to begin with. Indeed, ask yourself how many times a day that you might hear that you can be happy – will be happy, even – if only you choose these clothes, that form of transportation or those beauty products.

Don't shop 'til your drop: escape the consumerism happiness trap

There again, the pursuit of happiness might be marketed as being concurrent with the pursuit of other goals. For example, you may have heard you'll be happy if you pursue your youth – with an anti-wrinkle cream, of course. Or that you'll be happy if you pursue greater wealth by choosing one investment product over another.

However, eudaimonia has little to do with any of that. Over the ages, spiritual leaders such as the Dalai Lama have taught us to abandon the relationship between happiness and material wealth. Bear in mind that it's not so much that increased material wealth won't bring you some sort of happiness or temporary life improvement, rather than the detriment it can cause to your perception of happiness.

“Escape the happiness trap by setting aside time to recall moments of gratitude. Keep an eye on what really contributes to your happiness.”

And although the current generation of Westerners are, by and large, richer than ever before, the variation of how people perceive their level of happiness is still high, to say the least.

The happiness trap: what is it exactly?

Feeling unhappy or sad is perfectly natural and we all go through ups and downs with our mental health from time to time. However, a general malaise in your sense of happiness may reveal that you are, indeed, stuck in the happiness trap.

Furthermore, if you think your personal happiness ties in with the images you might see on TV or in lifestyle magazines, then that's another sure sign. Equally, if you're constantly comparing the level of happiness you feel with that which you perceive in your friends, family, neighbours and colleagues – known as 'keeping up with the Joneses' – then this may also indicate your entrapment of a false perception of happiness.

Escaping the happiness trap: 5 strategies

Identifying and accepting the state of being happy enough is the key to escaping the happiness trap. If you feel happy enough, then you won't feel the need to carry on pursuing the false idols of materialism. However, deciding to feel happy enough may be easier said than done given our materialistic culture. Indeed, a 2003 psychological study by Schooler, Airey and Loewenstein suggested that pursuing happiness as a goal was doomed to failure anyway.

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Thankfully, Professor Sonja Lyubomirsky and others offer some useful cognitive and behavioural tips that offer you the best chance of avoiding that empty sensation of not feeling happy enough. So, here are five key techniques you can employ to help you escape the happiness trap.

1. Positive mentality strategies

Written by Ed Gould

Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and freelance writer. He's also a practitioner of Reiki.